


Returning, Resuming

by rayemars



Series: Beyond the Ocean Beach [7]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-10
Updated: 2012-10-06
Packaged: 2017-11-03 09:18:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayemars/pseuds/rayemars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kairi, Sora, and Riku. That long journey brought the three of them back home to peace; but the rediscovery of an old book forces Kairi to confront the dregs of darkness from her childhood in Radiant Garden, and the whole thing's not helped by the fact that the trio is really bad at readjusting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix and the Disney Corporation; the Codex Seraphinianus belongs to Luigi Serafini. No profit is being made from this work.

 

_"How can I be substantial," he asked, "if I fail to cast a shadow?  
I must have a dark side also if I am to be whole."_

 

She was about to track her father down and suggest they start dinner when she heard an "A **ha**!" from the library.

"Dad?" Kairi called, leaving the stairs and making her way down the hall.

"I found it!"

"Found what?" she asked, and then stopped short in the doorway.

Her father was enthusiastically wiping dust off of an oversized black book. "I thought it was lost for good, but it was here all along! Back there," he added, gesturing to a large, heavy bookcase that had been pulled forward slightly and had one shelf removed. The plank, and the halves of a broken peg that had previously been holding it up, were lying on the coffee table. "How on earth I lost it there I don't know, but I _found it!_ "

She wrapped a hand around the edge of the door. "Which book is it?"

Her father finished plucking away the worst of the dust bunnies and turned around, showing off the blank cover. "Do you remember that odd encyclopedia I could never find a matching dialect for, the--"

Kairi took a step back.

Her father paused. "The one...found in the trees near where you...." He looked down at the book, then back at the shelves that hadn't been moved for nearly a decade. Kairi shifted, placing more of the doorframe between herself and the room.

"Ah," her father said. He let his hands drop, sliding the book behind him. "Er...."

"Are you hungry?" she asked. "It's getting close to dinner."

"Yes," he said. "Yes, that sounds good. I'll--meet you in the kitchen in a moment."

"Okay," Kairi replied, and left.  
  
  
Dinner was a little awkward.

*

She slept badly that night, trying more than succeeding, and finally shoved the sheet back and went down the hall to her father's room.

Kairi curled up in the armchair by the lamp and the stray stack of books, hugging her legs to her chest, and watched him sleep. She didn't release the breath she'd been holding until she was sure his chest was rising and falling under the light blanket and it wasn't a trick of the darkness.

She probably should have burned it.

But she hadn't wanted to for some reason . . . the smoke, maybe? Had she thought it would pollute this new world's air, that the ashes would ruin the ground? Something like that; it was hard to remember the logic behind those old fears.

Kairi closed her eyes briefly, resting her cheek on her knees; but she soon had to open them again, to lift her head and make sure her father was still breathing, still alive, still there.

She knew there was no reason to worry. He was healthy, pretty young for an adult, not so worn out from being mayor that he didn't make things worse by staying up too late reading--and she knew he was _back_ , he and nearly everyone had come back, Sora and Riku had made terrible sacrifices to bring them back, but still.

The fact that he was back meant he'd been lost in the first place.

Even if she understood now what had driven Riku into the darkness then, and had forgiven him because he'd done so much to make it right again, it didn't mean she could forget it. It was too big a loss, too familiar of one, to ever be fully forgotten--not by her, or himself, or Sora, even if the three of them laid blame differently.

She should have burned it.

Maybe she still could; maybe her father wouldn't say anything if it disappeared again, the way he'd stopped asking if she remembered anything about her old home the day he officially adopted her.

But she'd run away from the dark before, and it'd kept her from seeing things she needed to see. This time she couldn't run.

...What does it say? Naminé asked. It was the first time the other girl had spoken, though Kairi had felt her hovering closer ever since her reaction to the codex had attracted her attention.

 _I don't know_ , she replied, after a long time. _I couldn't read that young_.

Ah, Naminé murmured.

Kairi exhaled in a long, silent sigh, and watched her father for a little while longer.

Finally, after enough time had passed that the shadows had moved across the floor, she uncurled from the chair and returned to her room.

*

Her father must have studied the codex in his own room at first.

But just two days later, Kairi saw that it was back in the library, open again to the same old page: the one with a drawing of a stone containing both the codex's language and a second one, as incomprehensible as the first. Dictionaries of the other islands' dialects and old notebooks written by travelers slowly piled up beside it over the week, the same as before.

It was a fruitless quest, his efforts to unlock the language; she knew that. It would come to nothing, so it was safe to let him try.

She'd been wrong about the Door being sealed, too, but this time there was no way....

Maybe she could sneak it out with her when they left this world again; she could take it to the king and ask if there was anywhere he might store it. Or, Sora had said in Beast's Castle there was a library so huge it was as tall as houses stacked on top of each other--that had to be enough books for one to get lost forever.

No, that would be unfair to Belle and Beast. She would take it to King Mickey, whenever they finally returned there.

A lot of things would hopefully get better once they went off-world again. She wanted to try limit breaking, and Sora was getting antsy about falling out of practice; and Riku had started staring at the horizon again when he didn't think they were looking.

*

At the end of the week, Sora went home with her after school to work on their history assignment together. Riku had left on a trip with his parents after school.

It was kind of pointless for Sora to keep doing the homework--he'd told them just yesterday that his mother wanted him to leave school and join the family business after summer break--but it was an excuse for him to come over.

The trip Riku had gone on was a matchmaking one. His mother was considering a girl whose father owned a rubber-making plant on one of the southern islands. He'd asked her not to tell Sora until he was back; officially, his family was just going in order to attend the festival there. Kairi had shaken her head but promised.

She wasn't allowed to work in her bedroom with boys any more, and the kitchen was a lot closer to the room her father used as his mayoral office; so when Sora suggested the library Kairi bit her lip briefly but nodded.

They actually got some of the questions done before he started fidgeting and wound up noticing the codex.

"Hey, I remember that book!" Sora abandoned his journal and moved to the desk, tugging the codex out of its surrounding dictionaries and flipping through the pages. "It had all those cool pictures."

"Yeah," Kairi agreed, shutting the treatise on the last land wars of eighty years ago.

"I thought your dad lost it," he added, pausing and grinning at an illustration of a table set on a slant with wedges attached that were holding dishware. To the best they'd figured out as kids, it was so people could eat while the crumbs slid off automatically. "Where was it?"

"I hid it behind that bookshelf," Kairi replied, pointing at the one with the newly repaired shelf as she stood.

Sora blinked and looked over at her.

"Huh?" he replied. "Why did you do that?"

Kairi started to put the treatise back on the shelves. "The day after we looked through it, you said you had nightmares," she explained, voice growing quieter. She kept her fingers on the spine of the book for a few moments, before adding, "And Riku was already drawing on the cave by then."

Sora looked back down at the codex in his hands. "But . . . then, what is this?"

"I don't know," Kairi replied. "I can't read it. I grabbed it because it was the closest thing when the darkness opened up, but I lost hold of it--" She stopped abruptly, then pushed away from the bookcase, rocking on her heels before folding her hands behind her back. She didn't look over at Sora, even though she knew he was staring at her.

"I thought you didn't remember anything about your old home," Sora finally said.

Kairi half-smiled. "I was trying not to," she replied. "They're not so different."

When he didn't reply, she took a breath and turned around. "Come on, Sora," she said playfully. "Why did you think I told everyone my boat flipped and I didn't see what happened to you two?"

He scratched the back of his head, the codex dangling at his side. "I thought you were thinking on your feet."

"Heh." Kairi glanced down. "No. 'Talking about the darkness brings it to you.'"

"What?"

"That's what they used to say." She tucked her hair behind her ear. "I thought they meant literally, but now I think it meant Xehanort was already doing those experiments, and talking too much would attract the wrong attention." She shrugged. "But I wasn't going to risk it, not until you were both back. So I lied more."

"Kairi...." Sora dropped the codex on the desk and came over. "Are you okay?"

"I will be," she answered, and shrugged a shoulder again before reaching out to take his hand. "At least it worked."  
  
  
Does Riku know it's back?" Sora asked abruptly, looking up from the next question on the list.

Kairi shook her head. "He hasn't been here since Dad found it."

Sora frowned at that, but if it bugged him that she hadn't told either of them before now, it wasn't enough that he said so. "So when he gets back...?"

"I'll tell him," Kairi said. She fidgeted with her pencil. "The rest of it, too."

Sora glanced at the codex again, and then tapped his pencil on his paper. "We should tell everyone soon. Our parents at least, and the gang...."

"It's hard lying," Kairi agreed. "Do you think that'll make it easier to go off-world?"

Sora gave her a surprised look, and Kairi responded with a smile that let him know that yes, she knew exactly which expression of Riku's he'd been thinking of.

Sora chuckled sheepishly, and flipped the pencil over, tapping the eraser. "Maybe. Eventually, when they get used to it.... Maybe before the end of summer, at least."

She crossed her fingers. "Hopefully!"

"Is there anywhere you wanna go?" Sora asked. "The more we talked about it, the more places came up, but there's no way to go to them all." He paused, then snickered. "I **really** want to see Riku as a demon in Halloween Town. You've gotta help me drag him there."

Kairi laughed and looked up. "He's a demon?"

Sora nodded. "He said so! He wouldn't tell me what kind, but it's not one that looks like Shock."

"The devil kid?"

"Uh-huh."

Kairi snorted and started to ask how Riku had responded to being compared to that boy, but then she noticed that the tips of Sora's ears were pink.

She raised an eyebrow, and then asked sweetly, "How did it come up?"

The pink quickly deepened. "We were talking about stuff. And...stuff. It was kinda related to something else. Before other stuff."

"Uh-huuuuuh," Kairi drawled, and propped her chin on her hands. "Wanna tell me some of this stuff?"

Sora, if possible, got even redder. Kairi watched him start to speak, stop, and scratch awkwardly underneath his ear; and she realized her cheeks felt warm.

They heated more at the sidelong look he gave her a moment later, and the slightly embarrassed half-grin that went with it. "Okay."  
  
  
The real reason Sora had suggested the library was because the floorboards between it and the mayoral office creaked. They heard her dad coming while he was still down the hall. Kairi slid off his lap and straightened her uniform collar while Sora jabbed their homework into a state that looked like it hadn't been abandoned for the last twenty minutes.

"It's getting late," her dad said, leaning into the room. "Shouldn't you be heading home, Sora? Did you finish all your homework?"

Kairi gave the half-empty question sheet a dubious look, but Sora nodded. "Enough, yep."

She saw him to the front door. "Tell your mom hi for me, okay?"

"Sure," he agreed. "--Hey, wanna have dinner with us?"

Kairi knew he was trying to be more considerate of his mother since coming back to find her safe and whole, but in some ways he was still kind of bad at it. She remembered the meals from their childhood where she had dropped in unannounced for dinner, often along with Riku; she had finally caught on the one time Sora's mother had just put down two plates for them and said she ate earlier. Kairi had started inviting Sora to her home instead after that.

She grinned. "Thanks, but if I don't make sure Dad eats he'll just growl over that book all night."

Sora looked down the hall at the library.

"...I could probably read it," he said, quieter. "If I have the keyblade out. The letters still look funny, but I understand them anyway."

"Really?" Kairi asked, interested despite the situation.

"Yeah. It's really noticeable in Olympus Coliseum--their alphabet's all pointy, and it takes a couple seconds, but I can read it. Donald said it was probably the keyblade, since he didn't do a spell."

"Neat," Kairi mused. "I want to try that."

"Okay!" Sora folded his arms behind his head and started to say something else, but then her dad called "Kairi?"

She gave him an apologetic look. Sora sighed, and dropped his arms. "Bye, ma'am," he said to the photo of Kairi's adopted mother, and then called "Bye!" down the hall.

She checked behind her that her father wasn't in sight, then leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. "See you tomorrow."

"See you then," Sora said with a grin, but it faded a few moments later. He glanced back at the library before looking at her. "Come over if you want to," he said. "The window's open."

Kairi was about to point out that if she got caught doing that, she'd be the one grounded for a month this time; but then she changed her mind. She shook her head briefly before giving him a grateful smile. "Okay. Thank you."

He nodded, eyed the library again, and then--when her dad came out into the hall--waved and left.

"I'll be there in a minute!" Kairi promised, which sent her father harrumphing back into the kitchen.

Kairi paused at the library doors as she passed, and then leaned against the frame. She cupped a palm around her elbow and felt the itch of the keyblade beneath it as she stared at the codex, sitting askew on the desk where Sora had dropped it.

 _I shouldn't be acting like this_ , she thought. _I said I was going to do more from now on_.

Bad memories are hard to return to, Naminé replied. They take more time.

Kairi stared at the codex for a while longer.

When her father called her name again, she rubbed her palm hard against her skirt and pushed away from the door. "I'll be right there as soon as I change!"


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku, Kairi and Sora; no matter how much you force it, sometimes you no longer fit properly in the world where you once belonged.

The festival was in a narrow indentation near the north of the island; three sides were enclosed by hills, leaving only one open for the audience and the dancers to get in and out of. The only safe area was partly up the hills, but no one seemed to be watching from there except the old, the sick, and a few women with infants.

Riku hated it more than he'd expected.

Which was surprising, considering he and his parents were here to try and marry him off.

The intended girl, Solada--only child of the man who owned the two main rubber factories on the island--had been sticking close to him ever since they'd entered this place, along with three-fourths of the rest of the islanders; Riku wasn't sure why. He hadn't given the impression that he'd dart off if she let go of his arm. At least, he didn't think. He'd been trying, for appearances' sake, and also because there was no way to get home until tomorrow unless he stole a boat.

"It's almost dark!" she said suddenly, making him look down.

"Yeah," Riku agreed reflexively. It was.

"The dancing's even better then." She grinned up at him. "You'll like it."

"Okay."

"Your family came on the best night," she continued. "Tonight's the children's salt de plens."

It took him a second to think to ask. "What's that?"

Solada grinned again. "That's when they dance with fireworks."

Riku nodded once, figuring it was going to look like a fight with Red Nocturnes in close quarters.  
  
  
He lost track of Solada for a while; the place was thick with tension as twilight came on and preparations for the last dance continued, making him edgy and aware of his keyblade waiting to be called, and one time when he looked over she wasn't there.

He didn't go looking for a while. But he didn't know anyone else here, and it was an excuse to get out of the crowd. He found her gossiping with a friend.

"So what's he like?"

"Hard to talk to," Solada replied, arms folded. "I hope he's not slow."

"There's other offers, right?"

"Not as good," she replied. "They own a **lot** of land." She blew her bangs away from her face.

"Oh well," her friend said with a grin. "At least he's handsome! Who cares if he's slow at talking, all that _really_ matters is--" she leaned in and whispered something in the other girl's ear.

"Sunee!" Solada shrieked, smacking her hand. "You're awful!" Riku watched as the two of them broke into giggles.

He missed Kairi and Naminé.  
  
  
The night dancing was a little cool. Sora would have liked it. Old men draped the dancers in vines to keep them from catching fire, then lit the fireworks on their masks and tails and turned them loose in the middle of the valley to spin in wild arcs, splattering fire everywhere as they moved. Riku was seeing a point to the heavy cotton hats and coverings Solada's family had loaned them that morning. He'd left the girls to their laughter, but Solada had found him again later at the edge of night, the brim of her hat pulled down low against the sparks. When some of the other kids around him shifted away at her arrival, he followed her further back from the dancers.

"What was that?" Riku asked, because the tension in the air hadn't broken yet and it made him reflexively suspicious.

"Oh, them?" Solada replied. She waved a hand. "They're trash. They don't come from families influential enough to dance in the salt, so they hang out at the edges to prove they're brave enough if they were just allowed."

She blinked then, and linked her arm through Riku's again. "Not that--I mean, I thought you were brave to stand so close, when you've never been here before." She shook her head. "I had to dance in it for a couple years after my brother died; it's scary."

A Crimson Jazz fight was worse. "Thanks," he said belatedly, glancing back at the kids at the edge of the dancing. One boy was proudly showing off the char marks on his cotton covering to another, who'd stuck a finger through the hole appreciatively.

He missed Sora.

*  


The salt was the last of the dances; when the fireworks had sputtered out and it was confirmed no one was badly injured, people began straggling out of the valley. Riku and Solada rejoined their families and made their way back to her home. They ate a late dinner there before the two of them were told they could go rest; their parents had more to talk about.

Solada's family only had one guest room, and his parents had been settled in it; Riku had been put in hers, and was unsure where she was sleeping.

He eyed the one other door in the hallway on his way to the bedroom; but there were shadows there, old and less potent but still there, and he passed it by.

As soon as he shut the door, he crossed the room, opened the window and crawled out onto the roof.

Riku exhaled slowly once he was settled by the rainwater storage tank. The air still smelled faintly of smoke and gunpowder despite the breeze, but at least the feeling of suffocation had lessened. Underneath the gunpowder was the smell of the ocean, and he knew beyond it were Sora and Kairi.

Through the window he heard the door open, and a twinge of tension ran through his shoulders. Riku closed his eyes.

"...Hello?" he heard Solada say. He wondered if she thought he was hiding in her closet. He hoped she wouldn't shut the window, at least; it would be a pain to get back in.

"Guess he's in the bathroom..." she murmured, and, after a few moments, he heard the door shut again.

Riku let out another long breath, this time with a grimace, and pushed himself up. He should have waited until everyone had gone to sleep.

When he climbed back into the bedroom, there was a small bunch of green bananas sitting on the bed. Riku eyed it for several moments, then shrugged and set it on top of his bag.

*  


They rode back to Destiny Islands in the midmorning, arriving in the late afternoon; Solada's parents had seen his off with a cheerfulness that Riku distrusted. But the subject didn't come up until supper, when his mother asked, "What did you think of her?"

Riku shrugged.

After another bite, he swallowed and added, "She was pretty forward. She and a friend were gossiping about us." He knew that would get her a black mark in his mother's opinion.

"Mn," she replied, pressing her lips together. After several long moments, she exhaled sharply. "Well, if that's the worst...."

Riku's eyes widened slightly, and he immediately shook his bangs further over them to hide it.

He'd known he was damaged goods in her eyes since returning, but he hadn't realized to just what an extent.

He didn't say anything else for the rest of the meal.

*  


The next morning he gave Kairi two of the bananas on their way to school, and tossed another to Sora after he dashed into the classroom just moments before the teacher arrived.

Sora was arriving increasingly late to school over the last week; he'd insisted on starting to help with his mom's business even before break. He almost never got away in time to meet them on the path any more. And it made him stink of fish.

"Why'd Kairi get two?" Sora grouched during lunch, when he noticed the bananas tucked inside her desk.

Riku raised an eyebrow. "Does Roxas want one?"

The face Sora made at that effectively conveyed Roxas's response. Riku guessed he still wasn't talking to him after the last time on the beach.

Kairi tugged on his sleeve, drawing his attention. "Can you come by my house today?" she asked. She and Sora exchanged a look. "I need to show you something."

"Okay," he said.

*  


Riku shoved his hands deep into his pockets to conceal that they were curled into fists as he stared down at the codex.

"...I thought it was lost."

"Dad found it again," Kairi replied, and something in the way she said it made him turn to look at her. She was standing by the edge of the couch--almost behind it, he noticed, like she was trying to keep it between her and the book. Sora was leaning his arms on the back of it, toying with the tie he'd pulled off as soon as the bell had rung.

"Where?" Riku asked with surprise. When he'd been little, after it disappeared, he'd gone all through her house looking for it until he'd finally had to quit because her father caught him 'tearing up' his library and refused to let him back in for a week.

"Where I hid it," Kairi said, and then smiled half-heartedly at his expression and started to tell the story.  
  
  
Riku pulled one of his hands out of his pocket as she spoke, but kept the other--the one closest to the codex--tucked away, to avoid even brushing it.

"Sora said we might be able to read it with the keyblades out--"

"Like in Olympus Coliseum," Sora interrupted.

"--but I haven't tried that yet," Kairi finished, hands folded behind her back. She started to say more, but then paused and stopped.

Riku glanced over at the codex again. "...Probably." He pulled his other hand out of his pocket and half-reached toward it. Kairi scratched the back of her neck.

"Kairi!" her father called from down the hall. When she and Sora turned toward the door, Riku opened the book.

The first pages were as illegible as they'd been when they were children. Riku was a little surprised.

He flipped further in, pausing at some of the familiar drawings, ones they had stared at for hours: Kairi's favorite of the boats in the canal, the many that Sora had proclaimed to be the best inventions ever that they ought to rebuild here, the few that had stayed in his memory....

Riku paused at the picture of the interior of a temple carved into a cave--at least, that was the best they'd been able to guess; who knew what it really was. It was funny; he'd wanted to go there so badly when he was younger, to climb and wander and be free in the solitude, where he would have Sora's attention all to himself. But now it just looked....

...Bleak, maybe. Too empty. Like a world where only Heartless and Nobodies were left.

Riku turned the page sharply.

"Can you read it?" Sora asked, and he looked over. They were both back.

He shook his head. "It's not in...."

Riku fumbled, trying to figure out how to translate the word for the language of the dark into something that a girl who was a Princess of Heart and a boy who only had enough darkness in him to form a Shadow could understand.

After half a minute he gave up. "It's not in that language," he said. "I can't read it."

"Oh," Sora said, sounding a little disappointed. Kairi let out a breath that almost wasn't audible.

"It must be Radiant Garden's old language, then," Sora mused. "I wonder if Merlin could read it."

"Maybe," Riku nodded.

"Do you think the king would have room for it in his library?" Kairi asked, and Riku blinked and looked at her more closely. Sora tilted his head.

"...We can ask," Riku said. "When we can get a note to him. I'm sure there is," he added, because the relief on her face wasn't very visible, but it was there all the same.

"Okay," she replied.

Riku glanced at Sora, but he wasn't asking why or putting up an argument; he was just frowning at the codex.

Riku shut the cover before he could flip any further back and turned away. "How long's your dad going to let us stay?"

"I'm not sure," Kairi said, glancing at the doorway before turning toward it. "He didn't say."

The three of them left.

Kairi directed them to the kitchen, where Sora raided the freezer for popsicles while she went upstairs to set the bananas on her desk until they ripened. Riku sprawled out in one of the kitchen chairs, staring up at the ceiling.

He remembered that near the back of the book, the writing changed. Notes in the margins and then whole pages had been in a different language than the one at the beginning, until by the end it had all been that second language, without a hint of the first.

Riku thought again of that near-silent exhale of Kairi's and the frown on Sora's face, and decided if they didn't remember that, it could wait until the codex was safely in Mickey's library.

***  


Kairi's father grudgingly dragged himself away from the tea percolating in the kitchen and headed for his office, having remembered some papers that he had to reread before a meeting. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice in the library.

"Shut up already," Riku said.

Once he recovered from the shock, Hiromasu remained just as tense as he stormed up to the doors; who was _he_ to talk to his daughter like that?!

He was startled to see no one else in the library but Riku.

"What are you doing here?" Hiromasu demanded--perhaps a little rudely, but it wasn't as though his land was owned by the boy's parents--and besides, he'd broken into his house.

Riku looked over at him, which didn't help settle Hiromasu's nerves any given that the boy was taller and had that unpleasant habit of staring at people through his bangs. There were dark circles under his eyes.

"I wanted to look at this," Riku replied. "...I knocked," he offered.

Hiromasu gave him a disapproving look. "It's too early for you to be here."

"Sorry," Riku said, and shut the encyclopedia.

Hiromasu saw him out the door impatiently, and then stomped up to Kairi's room. She called that she was changing when he knocked on her door.

"Did you let Riku in at this hour?" he asked, arms folded.

"Yes," Kairi replied. "He knocked."

"Did he knock on the _door?_ " Hiromasu asked pointedly.

There was a brief pause before Kairi answered, "No."

She opened her door a moment later. "He's been in the library the whole time," she replied, apparently preoccupied with rolling up her sleeves. "He wanted to look at the codex again."

"Codex?" Hiromasu repeated, and something he didn't recognize flashed over her face.

"The encyclopedia," Kairi answered. "I showed it to him yesterday when he and Sora were over, but then we had to go study."

Hiromasu eyed her for a long moment, and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.

It would be a lot easier, he thought, if he knew which one of them his daughter wanted to date, so he could know which one to ban from the house. He would have thought Sora, but....

"It's much too early for you to be letting him in," he said. "What would the neighbors think?"

"Sorry," Kairi replied. "I won't do it again."

She didn't mention that it was Naminé who'd let him in, or that he'd been in the library for almost two hours. Or maybe three; Kairi didn't know when exactly during the night Naminé got up to draw, and the other girl hadn't said anything until Kairi rolled groggily out of bed like usual.  
  
  
Her father was too busy reading some papers during breakfast to chide her any further. Kairi went through her food as fast as she thought she could get away with, called a goodbye to her parents, and then jogged down the path to the school.

She found Riku sitting under a tree at one of the bends. Kairi dropped her bag in the shade, then took a long breath and sat down next to him.

"What did it say?"

Riku shook his head. "I think...I can't read the first part, but I think the whole thing is a log of places and things that Xehanort was dreaming about. The first notes I could read were about the gummiblocks, and then the Heartless in the depths." He looked away. "I stopped when it got to the experiments. And then your dad shoved me out." He shrugged a shoulder. "The rest is probably more of the same."

Kairi let her breath out slowly, and then pulled her knees up to her chest.

"Sorry about that," she said after a moment. "Did he yell at you?"

"Not really," Riku replied. "You?"

She shook her head. "No. You're not allowed to come over any more when the neighbors might disapprove, though," she added with a grin.

Riku snorted; the neighbors hadn't caught him sneaking into or out of her room yet.

"...I'm glad you came," she said after another moment.

Riku looked away again, down the path. "I meant to ignore it."

Kairi shook her head. "I'm glad," she repeated. "Knowing isn't as scary as not knowing.

"--Sorry about tattling on you," she added abruptly.

Riku looked over. "Huh?"

"When you were looking for it when we were kids?" She half-smiled. "I told Dad that you were messing up his library. That's why he threw you out."

She tucked her skirt closer around her legs. "...I didn't want you to find it."

Riku looked down at the shade, and then nodded once. "It's okay."  
  
  
They stayed under the tree, waiting for Sora to finally run by in an effort to make it to school on time.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora, Kairi and Riku; they couldn't keep secrets forever.

They couldn't keep secrets forever; when one came out, the rest tumbled after.   
  
  
The three of them had snuck onto the roof for lunch--even though the wind had worsened lately, until it was almost impossible to properly eat--in order to come up with more plans for going off-world once summer vacation began, or at least for how to get a note out to King Mickey. Neither Sora nor Riku mentioned the codex, which made Kairi thankful and frustrated with herself.

The winds were a little worrying; they shouldn't have started for another month.

"Maybe monsoon season's coming early," Sora suggested as he and Kairi trudged back to the classroom. Riku had split off to use the bathroom, but not before noogieing Sora for saying he was just making excuses to comb the tangles out of his hair.

"Do you think it's because of everything that happened?"

"Maybe," Sora said. "Did anything weird go on after Riku and I closed the door?"

She nodded. "The weather was strange for a couple months. Like it was trying to catch up with all the missing time."

Sora scratched his jaw.

"Shut _up!_ " they heard Selphie yell on the other side of the classroom door. "Kairi isn't that kind of person!"

Kairi blinked at the door. Sora looked as befuddled as her; but then he frowned suddenly, and pulled it open.

Selphie spun around to glare at them. Kairi couldn't remember seeing her so mad since the time Riku and Sora had thrown her doll into the firepit and claimed it was a sacrifice to the volcano.

"Good," she scowled, and stormed up to the two of them, arms crossed. "Enough is enough. Who are you dating, Kairi? Because this _jerk_ \--" she pointed at Masao behind her, who sneered back "--says you're stringing on Riku and Sora both and that's a **lie**." She shouted the last part over her shoulder.

Kairi and Sora looked at each other.

Then Sora looked out the classroom door, as if trying to summon Riku; Kairi glanced down at her shoes.

Selphie waited, and then huffed. "C'mon, Kairi. You ought to at least tell us which one's up for grabs."

That made her look up, even though she knew Selphie was just trying to tease her into talking because she thought she was embarrassed.

"Neither," she replied, and then explained. "We're all dating each other."

The classroom was quiet. Kairi wondered when the teacher was going to finally show up.

"...Ew," another boy said in the back of the classroom, before Tidus punched him in the shoulder.

Selphie blinked for a few moments, and then squeezed her eyes shut; then she straightened slightly and flipped a curl behind her shoulder.

"Well, of **course** two boyfriends are better than one," she said matter-of-factly.

 _We have really good friends_ , Kairi thought.

Masao snorted rudely.

"Should've expected as much from a girl who just washed up with the tide," he said viciously, and Kairi frowned at him, wondering why he was so angry.

"Shut up," Sora said lowly. Kairi looked over, and then tensed at the way his shoulders were hunched forward, at the curl of his fingers as he glared at Masao. "Don't talk about Kairi like that."

Masao had leaned back slightly at the tone of Sora's voice; but he recovered quickly. "Or what?" he said derisively. "You gonna break my arm too?"

Sora started to respond, and then snapped his mouth shut and grit his teeth. He clenched the edge of a desk tightly; the girl sitting at it pushed away. Kairi pressed her hand over his.

"He doesn't have to," Riku said evenly, and she jumped the same as everyone else. She hadn't seen him come in.

Riku took two more steps forward and laid a hand on Masao's shoulder. "Who do your parents pay rent to?" he asked.

Kairi bit her lip as Masao flinched and his eyes widened. Beside her, Sora let go of the desk.

"Riku--" she started to say; but the teacher interrupted.

"Young man! --All five of you! Go to the principal's office!"   
  
  
As they were herded to the ground floor, Selphie fell back and tugged on the hem of Kairi's skirt.

"Sorry," she whispered. "Why didn't you tell me? I never would've brought it up."

Kairi made a vague motion with her hand and shrugged a shoulder; Selphie took that as an acceptable excuse until she could properly grill her later. They both looked forward when the teacher turned and glared at them.

Kairi focused on Riku and frowned as he continued to walk too close to Masao, even while the other boy kept shifting away. Sora had his hands shoved deep in his pockets, and was staring at the floor as he moved.

Kairi wanted badly to reach out and grab both their hands; she had to grip hers tightly behind her back to keep from doing it. It would only make things worse right now.   
  
  
Selphie was sent back first since, comparatively, she hadn't done much besides yelling. Masao was sent out after receiving a detention for being disruptive and grudgingly apologizing to Kairi. That left the principal staring at the three of them.

The teacher had given a brief explanation of everything she'd overheard before stepping in, which was more than Kairi had expected. The principal had dressed them down for threatening a classmate, cut Sora off when he protested that he hadn't said anything threatening and looked significantly at Riku, and then sent them back to the classroom with an order not to create any more trouble, if that were actually within their power.

He never quite looked at her. Kairi guessed she was going to have to get used to that for a while.

She wasn't really surprised when, several minutes before the last bell, Selphie tossed her a note from her seat by the window saying that Riku's mother was standing outside the entrance.

She was a little more surprised that her dad and Sora's mom weren't there--but his mom might have decided not to invite worse publicity, and her dad might have been in a meeting. Or the principal might have decided to inform Riku's parents first because of what he'd said to Masao.

She folded the note back up and slipped it to Sora, who tossed it up to Riku the next time he got a chance.

They fled the room as soon as the bell rang.

"Should we tell them everything?" Sora whispered, as they stood in the stairwell landing. It wasn't quite packed with vacating students yet. "It'll make everything make more sense."

Riku looked at him, and then at her. "Do you want to?"

"Do you?" Kairi asked.

He looked down the stairs, and didn't answer at first.

Sora shifted on his feet, but before he could say anything, Riku nodded once. "It'll put things in context," he said. "And we might as well get it over with."

Kairi bit the inside of her lip, then reached out and squeezed his hand. Sora wrapped his around theirs a moment later, holding tightly.

"We'll be okay," she said quietly.

"Yeah," Sora agreed.

After a moment, Riku nodded.

"Get out of the way, perverts," Masao said, from a few steps above the landing.

When Riku looked up at him slowly, Kairi used her grip on his hand to tug him down the stairs. Sora helped, and didn't let go until they were at the bottom; then he slipped behind Riku, putting himself between him and Masao, and looked over his shoulder at the other boy so that Kairi couldn't see his face.

"Don't bother," Riku said, before letting go of her hand and swinging his back to bop Sora on the forearm. "It wouldn't be a fight worth it."

Sora shoved his hands in his pockets, but stayed between them and Masao.   
  
  
Riku's mother didn't speak to him when they walked out the door, or look at her and Sora; she simply placed a hand between Riku's shoulder blades and led him down the path, towards his house, at a brisk walk.

They tried to follow for as long as possible, but once they were off the school grounds Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka ambushed them, along with a few more students who--Kairi was pretty sure--were the ones that had just won the bet their class had had going. She was trying to craft vague but suitable answers to the questions that matched up with Sora's efforts at the same, when she caught a glimpse of Masao over Selphie's shoulder. He was staring in the direction Riku was being marched with a bitterly worried expression.

He caught her staring when he looked away, and immediately scowled before turning and storming off, abandoning the path entirely to avoid having to go past their group.

Kairi watched his back as he shoved his way through the vegetation, then glanced over at Riku again just before he and his mother turned a bend and became hard to spot between the trees; and she thought _Ohhh_.

***

  
By the time Sora managed to see Kairi safely clear of the gang and their questions and to escape himself, he was almost half an hour later home than usual. He edged through the front door carefully, then stopped short when he saw his mother sitting at the kitchen table, watching the door.

"...Hi," he said.

She just looked at him.

". . . Did the principal send a note?"

"Mmhmm."

Sora closed the door behind him and sat down opposite her at the table, resting his bookbag on top.

"...I was going to tell you," he said. "We were just...waiting until the right...nng." He scratched the back of his head.

"...It's not like I hadn't guessed," she said quietly, folding her hands in front of her.

Sora blinked.

She gave him a long look. "When my teenage son starts sneaking out at night and then doing his own laundry despite being a slob...."

"'M not a slob," he said reflexively, and then blinked several more times and turned quite red. Shina shook her head and let out a long breath.

After several moments, she started twisting the ring on her left hand, a nervous habit that Sora wasn't sure whether she'd always had or if it'd begun after he left. He didn't remember seeing her do it before, but that didn't mean she hadn't.

"Did you think about the consequences?" she asked tiredly.

"No, it's okay," Sora replied. "We're going to get married. It'll be okay then."

Shina dropped her hands flat on the table and gave him a disbelieving look. "Sora, you can't do that. It's not--there's no kind of marriage contract that allows that. If it were just Kairi or--Riku, then--"

"No," he interrupted, "I know, but it's not gonna be here.... Okay." He pushed away from the table and stood up.

"There's a lot of other stuff I need to tell you," he said. "Just...don't worry, all right?"

His mother frowned. "What are you talking about?" she asked, and Sora summoned the keyblade.

***

  
A few hours later, their awkward effort at making dinner was interrupted by a knock at the door. Shina left Sora to finish deboning the salmon and went to answer it.

Kairi and Hiromasu were standing there. Shina took in the pale, exhausted expression on his face and immediately guessed why they'd come.

"Um," Kairi said. "Can I talk to Sora? I need him to tell Dad about...." She glanced behind her, checking the road, and then pulled another key-shaped sword from thin air.

Shina tightened her grip on the door frame reflexively. Then she exhaled sharply and gave the two of them a wan smile.

"I can't imagine why," she said. She held the door open further. "Come in. --We haven't cleared the table yet, there's still...keychains and rings and. Munny on it."

Hiromasu gave her a look as though he couldn't believe she was falling into all this madness. Shina gave him another smile she didn't feel and held the door open further.   
  
  
Hiromasu looked unwillingly convinced that their children weren't insane when Kairi and Sora finished showing off all the items scattered on her table. Shina sympathized.

She also noticed that Kairi hadn't blushed when talking about marriage. Sora had, a little bit, though she'd ignored it at then; but with more time to think it over, she had to wonder whose idea it had been. Not their son's--she would have bet...not all the munny currently on the table, but a lot. She didn't doubt that he loved the two of them, and maybe even in a way that was deep, not just a reaction to loss but something that would truly last; but she knew their son, even if she was still adjusting to this newer version who was sometimes so much older than his years and sometimes more spoiled than he'd been as a boy, and she would have bet that it hadn't been his idea because it wouldn't have occurred to him. Sora tended to think if things were good now, they would be good forever; and that at least didn't seem to have changed.

It made her wonder which of the two had had the idea first; which of them wanted to lay a claim to their son and each other that couldn't be broken. She watched Kairi from the corner of her eye for reasons not entirely connected to the two keyblades still sitting on the table.

"This is ridiculous," Hiromasu fumed, thumping a fist on her counter. Shina frowned at him; he was too near the knife Sora had been using to gut the fish to be doing that without looking. "You can't--you can't marry, even if it's at--" he looked like the words were physically paining him to say "--at some castle of the king of the universe! You're not of age! You can't even provide--"

He caught himself at the last words, and looked embarrassed before nodding at her. "Forgive me, Shina."

"Mm," she replied, and wondered why he was fighting this so much. She had never been one for fairytales, not even as a girl; if it weren't tangible, something she could hold in her hands, how could she be expected to think it was real? She'd never understood where that love of otherworldliness had come from in Sora, where he'd gotten his guileless faith in the realness of things that would be unnatural if they existed; not even his father had been so bad.

Should she have fought him more? Argued harder against what her eyes could see and her heart didn't want to accept?

"I already am," Kairi replied. "Riku will be in a year, and Sora in another two; and we aren't going to do it before I graduate."

Shina shook her head, hoping to stave Hiromasu off before he wound up banging his hand down again and slicing it on the knife. "You're too _young_ ," she insisted.

Kairi looked at her with a faint smile.

Shina stared back for a long moment, and then let out a breath and leaned against the countertop. She closed her eyes and pushed her hair over her shoulder. "...Suppose I'm not one to talk."

She cracked an eye open a moment later, and gave Sora a dubious look.

"You still can't get married," she said. "Did you even propose properly?"

Sora blinked. Then he turned to look at Kairi, mouth open slightly. She looked back at him.

Her son dove into the pile of items on the table, shoving them around until he came up with a mythril ring.

"Here," he said, handing it to Kairi. "Donald's got my orichalcum ring, so just hang on to this until I get it back."

"...Okay," Kairi said, slightly red, as she took it.

"And, uh--one sec!" He shoved away from the table and dashed down the hall. They heard the back door bang open a moment later--too soon, too fast, and Shina tried not to think of the implications of that. She pressed a thumb to her temple instead and muttered, "Why didn't he pick the diamond one...."

Kairi shook her head. "That one doesn't boost magic," she murmured, still blushing as she put the ring on. "I've been trying to cast spells that aren't light-based."

Shina looked away.

"I'm glad you find this funny," Hiromasu muttered.

"I don't," she replied. "But, what are we supposed to...." She reached out to Sora's keyblade, but hesitated with her hand over it. Finally she pulled back without touching it, and turned away and busied her hands with pouring a cup of tea. When Hiromasu turned down her offer, she kept it for herself.

The back door banged again, and a moment later Sora skidded into the room. He was holding a handful of anemones, pulled up by their roots.

"I'm gonna have to replant them," he told Kairi, "if it's okay," and knelt down on the linoleum. He looked up at her; she stared back down.

"...Riku's gonna say this doesn't count since he's not here," Sora said.

"That's not how you ask!" Shina admonished, but Kairi nodded. "Probably," she agreed.

"You're getting soil on the floor," she added with a grin. Sora glanced down at the anemones and then cupped a hand under the roots.

"Dangit," he muttered, before looking back up at her. "I'll get you better ones later, promise."

"Okay," Kairi smiled. Sora glanced between her and the flowers and their parents for another moment, then darted off again, presumably to put the flowers back. Kairi wrapped her hands around the base of the chair and started kicking her feet absently, still smiling.

"This is ridiculous," Hiromasu muttered. "You're both too young, and this--" he waved a hand at the table, items and armor and keyblades still littered on it, and Shina took the opportunity to pull the knife away from the cutting board and into the sink. "This isn't--how can you--"

"SORA! What are you doing to my garden!?"

"Ow! Ow, owow Ms. Ikue they're fine! Leggo!"

Shina wrapped her hand back around her cup of tea to fight the urge to press it to her face. Hiromasu's expression remained dour.

At least he'd pulled them from Ikue's garden, she thought; the elderly woman had always been a good friend and customer, and--Shina hoped--that wouldn't change with this newest bout of news about their son. Ikue had deliberately been her first customer after Sora had beat up those boys; surely this wasn't as bad....

She was losing all her sense of right and wrong. She never should have said it was all right for their son to go off and fight and nearly die in the service of some king she'd never heard of, no matter whether there was anyone else to do it or not. What did she care about other worlds? She and her son and their friends lived on _this_ one.

...Her friends. He had more now, in other places.

Maybe it was just her sense of propriety that was going. She knew the two didn't necessarily match up.

Outside, Sora's voice was suddenly a lot closer and inexplicably more panicked. "Mom already yelled at me, that's why I was replanting them, you don't have to come in right now! Really!"

Shina raised an eyebrow in confusion, then jolted when Kairi surged out of her chair.

On the table, one keyblade--hers--disappeared. Kairi ran her palm over the munny, absorbing it, and then swept the rings and belt and elixir and keychains into a pile, before grabbing a dishtowel off the stove handle and flinging it over them.

A moment later she reached back under and fished out a spiky red, black, and silver keychain--one Sora hadn't named--and dropped it into her pocket. She gave his keyblade a vexed expression, and then shoved it inside the pantry.

Shina and Hiromasu stared at her as she closed the door.

"I'll get Mom--" Sora was arguing, when Kairi turned around and interrupted.

"Sora," she called. "It's okay."

He fell silent at that, and a moment later Ikue stormed in with her son in tow. Kairi straightened up.

"I'm sorry," she said preemptively, folding her hands behind her back and giving Ikue an apologetic smile. "We were trying to fix things up to make it easier to break the news, and...well, it kinda went bad, but. Sorry about your flowers."

"Yeah," Sora agreed, sounding a lot calmer now. "I'm sorry."

Ikue gave the four of them a long, considering look that Shina didn't ponder the implications of because she was too busy staring at Kairi.

Nothing in the girl's expression gave away that she had just lied, quickly and easily and absolutely convincingly, and Shina realized that she had known where Sora had been. She had known what was happening to their son for all this time and she had lied about it, said she hadn't been there, or didn't know, or couldn't remember because it was all so hazy with the memories they all lost and recovered--

\--had she even forgotten him? Or had that been a lie, too? Had she really remembered Sora for that whole year and a half and just pretended--

\-- _no_ , Shina interrupted herself. _It was two years_. Sora claimed that a whole half a year had gone by while their world was...broken, missing, words he had spoken cautiously as if edging around something he didn't want to say out loud; he had been gone two years.

She didn't see it in him; but then so much had changed, how could she spot an extra half-year's growth on top of the rest? It was true that Kairi had developed faster than any of the other girls her age, but that wasn't so strange, puberty was full of odd and natural things; but Riku didn't look like any seventeen-year-old Shina had ever known--

\--Riku.

His parents had _buried_ him, had put up a stone to mark his loss at sea, and Kairi had said nothing. Shina shuddered reflexively, and wondered if that was why he seemed so much more changed than any of them, if that stone had cursed him somehow, and all that time the girl had said _nothing_ \--

"Mom?" Sora asked worriedly, and Shina realized her hands were gripped knuckle-white around her cup. "Are you okay?"

"It were only some anemones," Ikue added, but then tossed a pointed look at Sora. "If you had gone for my tulips, boy, **then** we would have a **talk**." She twisted his ear one last time.

"Ow!"

Ikue let go of him and brushed her hands decisively. "Don't worry about it, Shina. It were only some flowers."

"Thank you," she said reflexively. "--I apologize for my idiot son."

"Accepted." Ikue gave the four of them another speculative look. "...So I suppose the rumors're true?"

Hiromasu scowled. Shina looked down at her tea, trying to determine the best way to phrase it; but Sora and Kairi both said "Yes" like it was natural.

"Mm," Ikue replied. "I'll see you at the market tomorrow, Shina."

"Thank you," she said again, quieter.

She saw the older woman out the back door and returned to the kitchen to find Hiromasu waiting by the front, arms crossed as Kairi pulled the keychain out of her pocket.

Shina watched her as she pressed it into Sora's palm with a quiet "Be more careful" and thought maybe-- _maybe_ she was being too cruel. Hadn't Kairi insisted at every turn that Sora and Riku were alive, even when corrected or scolded or carefully explained to that there was no way they could have survived and that none of the other islands had reported any castaways matching their descriptions? Hadn't she refused to speak of them as dead, to the point that those around her began to talk as if they had just gone away somewhere without telling anyone? She had never visited Riku's stone marker, had never changed her mind that they were alive.

Even if she'd tried to explain how she knew, would anyone have believed her? If Kairi had told her that their son had drifted off to other worlds after some terrible accident that had split their own apart, would she have believed her?

Shina looked at the towel covering the munny and items and stray unnatural things that Sora had brought out to convince her of his story, and then at the pantry where his keyblade was still hidden; and she doubted it very much.

"Very well," she said. "Hiromasu, maybe we should talk this over another day. It's getting close to dinner."

"I agree," he said with a curt nod. "Kairi."

She squeezed Sora's hand, still curled around the keychain, one last time, then turned and left with her father.

Shina let out a long breath, feeling like she was going to exhale all the air in her lungs soon if this kept up, and set her tea down on the table. "Why did she hide all this?" she asked, waving a hand at the towel.

Sora blinked up from where he'd been staring at his hand, giving her a distant, confused expression before his eyes focused. Shina frowned.

"--Oh," he said, and then slipped the keychain into his pocket and went to open the pantry door. "It's because we have to protect the world borders. ...People aren't supposed to know about other worlds, or all these things." He sounded a little sad as he pulled the keyblade out and made it disappear. "That...it might change eventually, if the Heartless ever get back in here, but until then it has to be a secret."

"...Ah," she said quietly.

Shina looked down at her hands and then clasped them to stop the trembling as Sora continued to act as though making a key-shaped bludgeoning thing appear and disappear was completely normal.

"...We need to get back to cooking," she said after a moment.

Sora finished sweeping the gummiblocks and rings off the table and into his pockets, and nodded. "Okay."

***

  
Kairi watched her father as he strode down the path, away from Sora's home and back to their own, in silence.

He wasn't arguing about the impossibility of everything any more, which was...a start, she guessed. But his shoulders were still tense, and she knew that while too much evidence and the acceptance of Sora's mother had forced him to admit that the keyblades and the magic and the other worlds were true and necessary, the rest of it, her and Sora and Riku....

That was going to take a long time for him to accept, she knew. Maybe if there _weren't_ other worlds, if their lives would be lived out on this island, maybe then, but....

She had woken up on the beach and been brought into his house a year after he'd lost his wife; in all her earliest memories of him, he was always dressed in undyed linen. It had been years later that she'd learned that was the color of mourning on this world.

Kairi thought of Riku, intangible, half faded away, holding back a man who had stolen his body and telling her to run; of Sora, pulling further and further away as their worlds separated, calling something that she could only hear in her heart; of standing alone on an island that in her last memories was being swallowed down by the darkness seeping through the cracks and watching the stars return, not knowing where Sora was, or whether Riku was whole again.

She couldn't wish that loneliness on anyone, for any reason.

She knew it was a dangerous kind of love, this possessiveness; she remembered the way Riku had looked at Sora when they were kids, had briefly touched those desires of Sora's when he was in his anti-form. She knew Naminé kept the majority of her memories of Riku locked away from her; she knew how she felt about the thought of Sora or Riku leaving her again. But that didn't change the fact that it was love, all the same.

Kairi increased her pace briefly until she caught up with her father, and then reached out and took his hand.

When he blinked and looked down at her, Kairi said quietly, "I don't remember my parents. At all. Only my grandmother."

When he startled and paused, she squeezed his hand.

"You and Mom are my parents," Kairi said matter-of-factly, looking up at him. "That will never change."

Her father stared down at her for a long, long moment, standing still on the path. Then he glanced at the gravel, before nodding and squeezing back.

"...Let's go home," he said tiredly.

"Okay," Kairi agreed.

***

  
Riku and his parents were waiting for them when they arrived back at the house.

Hiromasu invited them into his home rotely, wishing that this day were over, or better yet hadn't started and that this was all some ill-omened dream. Maybe his mind was trying to prepare him for really hearing the news that his daughter wanted both those boys, so that when he learned it it wouldn't be so terrible with all the magic and fighting removed.

Riku gave him a long look as he walked past and into the house. Hiromasu frowned, and then frowned further when the boy looked at Kairi and veered closer to her. His mother shifted gracefully between them; Hiromasu couldn't tell whether it was deliberate or not.   
  
  
Chihoko and Yasuhiro had accepted the news better than Hiromasu would have suspected. They were more concerned with Kairi's intentions regarding Riku and Sora.

But then, Hiromasu thought, staring down at the sharp, vicious-looking sword sitting on the coffee table--was the eye in it the same color as Riku's own? he couldn't tell, the boy had his bangs in the way again--if Riku had been his child and had pulled _that_ out of nothingness and begun talking of fighting the darkness in that aloof, self-contained way of his, yes, he would have believed him too.

This looked like a weapon meant to kill. Sora's hadn't; his own daughter's was covered in _flowers_ of all things, it looked like the prop for some play except for the scratches along the metal. How could he be expected to believe they fought monsters with those things?

But _this_....

"Two years," Kairi was explaining. "It's been two years. The world was gone for half a year, that's why no one else remembers it."

"'Gone,'" Chihoko repeated. "How?"

"The darkness took it apart," she answered. "Everyone's memories couldn't start again until Riku and Sora put it back together, along with all the other worlds that were broken."

"Took the world...how did that happen?"

Kairi touched the pendant of her necklace.

"A man threw me into this world," she began evenly, and Hiromasu jolted. "He was studying the darkness, and he sent me here from my world. It tore down the barriers of this one--that's what the meteor shower was, only those were gummiblocks--" she glanced at Riku and he nodded, so she didn't bother to explain those and went on, "--and left a path into this world. It was never sealed, so eventually the darkness got through."

Chihoko's expression was unreadable; but she didn't say anything for several moments.

When she did, it wasn't what Hiromasu had expected. "Why did he do that?"

"I don't remember," Kairi answered.

Chihoko folded her hands on her knee. "I think it's safe to end that now," she replied.

Riku gave her a sharp look through his bangs, but Kairi shook her head.

"I really don't," she said. "I tried so hard to forget after I woke up here that now I can't remember even when I try to."

Hiromasu clasped his hands tightly.

"Mm," Chihoko said. "Well. So, no one remembers half a year that passed because the world was gone," and she paused there as if to ask more about that term, and Hiromasu almost hoped she wouldn't, because something in the way Kairi and Sora and Riku spoke the word made his stomach clench, made him think it would be better not to know--which was an absurd thought for a man of study like him, and yet Kairi wouldn't look him in the eye when she said it--but then she continued, "and then for another year we all had our memories tampered with because a witch had Sora trapped in a spell and it affected everyone who knew him; and then those last few months everything was as it should have been?"

"...Pretty much," Kairi agreed, before hesitating again. Chihoko tilted her head.

"--She wasn't a bad witch," she insisted. "She was lonely. And there were bad people who made her do it. She just wanted to escape them."

Chihoko raised an eyebrow. "And that makes it acceptable?"

Kairi bit her tongue and couldn't answer, because for a year she hadn't been able to remember the sound of Sora's voice and Riku hadn't been able to come home and Roxas had had to lose the life he'd carved out for himself.

"She made up for it," Riku said shortly, and his tone ended the subject.   
  
  
The moment Yasuhiro mentioned marriage issues, Hiromasu cut him off with a statement that it wasn't worth considering until all three of them were of age. The insistence made Chihoko give him a considering look, one that Hiromasu hoped meant she would be an ally in trying to erase all this nonsense from their minds. Her family had nothing to gain from Kairi marrying into it; all he had was the mayoralty, and there was a good chance he was going to lose that when the next election occurred. No one liked a mayor with a scandalous house.

It defeated the main purpose that they had come there for; but Chihoko had agreed and said they'd kept the two of them from their dinner for too long. He insisted that it hadn't been any trouble, and saw them out to the road.

Hiromasu shut the gate behind him and let his shoulders slump. He felt drained, hollowed out by all this talk of keyblades and battles and fairytale worlds and children bearing the responsibilities of adults. He'd thought visiting Shina would clear it all away, ground life back into normality, and he could get down to the business of raising a mad daughter who had somehow discovered magic powers.

He raked a hand through his hair, then shook his head hard to force aside the memory of Chihoko's polite, measured tones and pushed away from the gate, turning back to the house.

He didn't hear the voices, exactly; just a faint murmur that touched his suspicions and made him veer to the side of the house instead of going inside and collapsing in his chair like he wanted. He found Riku and Kairi standing in the small side lawn, the area that had once been a garden but had now gone to grass because he could never find the time to tend it and Kairi wasn't inclined to her mother's hobbies.

...His wife's hobbies. Not her....

 _How did--?_ Hiromasu wondered, and then realized Riku must have doubled back and scaled the wall.

What he said was too quiet for Hiromasu to hear, and his gesture was too restrained and vague to help; but his expression was troubled and his words made Kairi press a hand to her heart. Her fingers curled slightly as she nodded.

Riku let his hand drop and looked at the house with a frown. Kairi shook her head and spoke; when he looked back, she smiled. Riku seemed unconvinced.

Kairi repeated her statement, then laid her hand on his elbow and said something else. Riku nodded.

He glanced down a moment later, and then took her hand, asking something. Kairi blushed faintly, and then grinned wide.

Hiromasu watched her pantomime the whole absurd mess from Shina's kitchen, doing it one-handed because Riku was still holding the other. Riku stared at her in disbelief as she talked; and then, when she finished, he started laughing.

Hiromasu jumped. The sound was audible, was _loud_ after the previous minutes of near silence; he watched Riku double over with laughter and brace a hand on his leg to keep his balance and wondered if he'd ever seen the boy do that since he'd returned.

...When was the last time he'd seen it before he'd left?

"He said you'd say it wouldn't count since you weren't there," Kairi grinned.

"It wouldn't count because it was horrible!" Riku cackled, and went back to laughing.

"Don't tease him _too_ much," she snickered. "His mom caught him by surprise."

Riku snorted and shook his head, then swallowed down his laughter and straightened up and became the too-self-controlled, disconcerting teenager he'd been since returning. The only change was the smile still on his face.

"I'll show him the right way to do it," Riku smirked, and there was more than that in his statement, typical teenaged boy innuendo that made Hiromasu force his hands in his pockets to keep from storming up and shoving him away from his daughter right then and there. Kairi snorted and giggled, and then shook her head.

"Don't," she said. "I don't have anything to give you guys yet."

"When we get off this world you'll start picking munny up fast," Riku said casually. "It's no big deal." But when she made a face at him, he shook his head and gave in. "Fine, just flowers then."

"You already did." Kairi smiled again, and summoned her keyblade. "I like these flowers."

Riku turned serious suddenly. "No," he said, quietly, almost too low to be overheard, "I want to do it right this time. As me."

Kairi's expression as she released the keyblade and touched his face was soft and warm and too old for her age. "You were you then." She squeezed his hand and then tugged him down for a kiss.

Hiromasu turned away, feeling drained and hollow and cold, and went into the house and sat down in his chair. He didn't call out to Kairi when he heard her shut the door carefully behind her a few minutes later.

***

  
Riku found his parents walking slowly down the path back to their house, as he'd expected; he'd been sure that when they noticed he was missing, they would eventually continue on regardless.

It was one of the useful things he'd learned from them.

His mother gave him an annoyed look when he returned, which was almost welcome because it was better than the cautious, unsettled way his father had been dealing with him. "Did you really need to do that?"

"You should have let me talk to her in private," Riku replied.

She gave him another unreadable look, and turned back to face the road without commenting.

His palm still felt slightly warm from Kairi's hand; Riku curled his fingers around it and slid his hand into his pocket, to carry the touch with him and get him through the rest of the night.   
  
  
A couple hours after midnight, he knocked on Sora's window. He had to do it several times before Sora finally woke up and let him in; the first thing Riku did after he collapsed on the bed was smirk and ask: "So when you propose to me, should I just bring my own flowers?"

"Shuddup," Sora scowled, red. "It didn't go that bad."

Riku's response was a mocking snort. Sora jabbed him in the ribs; when Riku caught his hand and then tangled their fingers, Sora flopped over and leaned his head against Riku's legs.

"You wanna stay here tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah," Riku replied quietly.

"Okay," Sora smiled, and didn't ask about his parents.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku, Sora, and Kairi; starts up immediately following the previous chapter.

Riku had barely been in Sora's room for an hour when someone started banging on the front door, jolting them both and waking up Sora's mother. He had just enough time to swing out of the window and up to the relative cover of the roof before Shina began calling for Sora to wake up.

It turned out that a huge shoal of biwa trout were in a feeding frenzy close to the shore. As the news spread, fishing families were rushing to gather bait and get out onto the water. Riku wound up stuck on the roof until Sora, Shina, and the mate of their family's boat--the one who'd come with the news--were enroute to the pier.   
  
  
A lot of students weren't in attendance when school started. At first it was mainly kids in the older classes, but by an hour in enough parents had pulled their younger children as well that almost a fourth of the school was absent, and the principal was considering canceling classes until after noon. It was rare for a frenzy to continue this far into the morning; but then, the weather of the last couple weeks had been pretty weird too.

Riku didn't know this when he tossed a note back to Kairi during class. Even if he had, he wouldn't have cared.

Kairi peeked at the note, and then asked the teacher for permission to use the restroom.

Once she got to the main hall, Kairi tried not to look like she was standing around aimlessly, even though that was exactly what she was doing. She finally decided to get a drink of water from the fountain outside the door to the side yard.

When she twisted the tap off, Riku was there, leaning over the wall on the other side.

"You just like startling people," Kairi accused.

"Old habit," he replied. She shook her head.

"Are we going to Sora's?" she asked, glancing up at the school. Their classroom's windows faced the other side, but still. She wasn't as fast as Riku. _Lightning_ probably wasn't as fast as Riku, when he really tried; she couldn't wait to see, once they were finally somewhere where the guys could really let loose while fighting.

"Yeah," he answered, and pointed a thumb over his shoulder. "This way. We can get away without being seen."

That was useful, and Kairi was glad to follow him along the hidden path in the underbrush; but it was also another sign that Riku was getting restless here.

In a way she understood how he felt--it was such a big universe out there, and there was so much to see--but in another way she didn't think she would ever be able to understand, because for the longest time Kairi hadn't wanted anything more than what Destiny Islands had seemed to offer: a safe place, where the darkness hadn't crept in yet.  
  
  
The shore was crowded with fishing families. They had to thread their way through them to make it to Sora's family's boathouse.

"He's out in the water," Riku said, turning his head and staring at a boat anchored a distance out.

"You can tell over the saltwater?" Kairi asked, impressed. He nodded.

She was a little surprised to see the ship's captain sitting on the shore by the pier, cleaning a stack of fish. But if this had been going on since before dawn, she guessed he must have traded off with the mate and come to help with the preparation. He'd always been like that, doing whatever most needed to be done.

He'd been the one who explained to her, slowly and carefully like to a traumatized child, that if Sora hadn't been found by now he had to be dead. His voice had cracked twice as he did so, though, so she'd forgiven him for giving up.

He was also the one who'd told her that if she wasn't going to tell the truth about what had happened that night, she needed to stay away from Sora's mother. Shina had been through enough.

"Captain Ginjiro?" she called.

He turned around. "Kairi," he greeted, and she watched as his eyes slid to Riku and then away. The other crew member--Taro, one of the fishermen--did the same before focusing back on the trout he was gutting. Ginjiro half-turned back to his fish as well, but kept talking. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"We came to help," she replied. "Almost everyone was leaving, anyway."

Ginjiro glanced out at the ocean, and the variety of boats on it. "Yep," he agreed.

"Sora's out with the boat," he added.

"Oh," Kairi replied, absently clasping her hands behind her back. "What should we help with?"

"Do you know how to clean a fish?" Ginjiro asked.

"My uncle showed me once," she replied, coming over and crouching down next to him, "but it was a while ago."

Ginjiro half-smiled with the side of his face that was closer to her. "There's a difference when you're cleaning a fish for sale. It has to look good." He set the trout he'd been holding aside and picked up another, tilting the makeshift table closer to her so that she could see better. "Watch closely."

After he'd run though the technique, he handed her one of the smaller trout and another knife and said, "Give it a try."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"If you mess up we'll cook it and replace it with a different one," Ginjiro replied with a shrug. "You need to know how to do this if you're going to be marrying into the family."

Kairi felt her face flush, and bit down a smile as she picked up the knife.

Ginjiro watched her work carefully in silence for a few moments, and then said without moving: "You too, Riku."

Taro looked over with a raised eyebrow. Kairi glanced over her shoulder at Riku, who seemed equally startled; but after a moment he pulled his hands out of his pockets and came closer.

Ginjiro gestured for Taro to loan him one of his knives, which he did so grudgingly. Ginjiro held it out to Riku, finally looking up at him. "You know how to clean 'em?"

"Sora showed me when we were kids," Riku replied, taking the knife. After another moment, he sat down on the opposite side of the table, and accepted the smallish trout Ginjiro handed him.

Taro went back to cleaning his pile of fish without comment.

Kairi wondered briefly if it was going to be a little easier than they'd thought. The crew had been like a second family to Sora, and the ones that were permanent and not seasonal were fiercely loyal to his mother. If they accepted her and Riku, maybe....

They would be fine in the end.

Her first fish was a little too ragged at the edges of the incision, but the next one was better. Riku's first one made Ginjiro whistle briefly under his breath; but Riku was usually the one who wound up cleaning the fish they ate because Sora would complain that he'd done all the work of catching them, so Kairi wasn't surprised.

***

  


"Riku! Kairi!" Sora called, slogging up the beach toward them. Riku looked up from the table he and Kairi were scrubbing blood and guts off of in preparation it for the next batch of trout. When he was sure Sora was close enough to see his expression, he wrinkled his nose.

"You reek of fish," he declared.

"You went swimming to catch them?" Kairi asked, not sounding surprised.

"Yeah!" Sora grinned, plopping down on the sand next to them. He was barefoot and shirtless, and didn't bother wringing the water out of his shorts. He did shove his wet hair out of his eyes. "It's really easy with this frenzy."

Kairi shook her head in amusement. "A net would've been faster."

Sora just shrugged a shoulder. "The rest of the guys were using them, and I still caught almost as much as any of them," he boasted.

Riku snorted and wiped the table again. " _Almost_ ," he emphasized.

"It was really close!" Sora insisted.

It probably was. He knew Sora was fast. But it wasn't like Riku could agree with him; Sora didn't need his ego fed any more than all those trophies in Olympus Coliseum and the whole famous keyblade wielder thing had already done.

And it wasn't like he'd ever forgotten how easy life was for Sora, the golden, loved heir who was spoiled by everybody and got away with doing whatever he wanted. He'd just come to forgive Sora for taking it for granted.

"Sora," Ginjiro called, leaning out the doorway of the boathouse.

"Yeah!"

"Is your mom still out?" the man asked. "We've iced this load of fish, but we need to head for the mainland soon before the markets are glutted."

"She's rowing back," Sora replied. "It's slowing down."

"Finally," Ginjiro said, with relief. "I was getting worried we're overfishing."

"There were five more nets' worth when I came back," Sora added.

"I'll discuss it with her," Ginjiro replied, wiping his hands on his pants and heading up the pier. Sora shook out his hair, causing Kairi to yelp when the water hit her face and Riku to punch him in the arm. That devolved into an arm wrestling match which they had to break off when the next basket of fish was dumped beside the table.   
  
  
The principal had cancelled classes for the morning less than half an hour after they snuck out, so they didn't get in that much trouble for leaving. Riku's mother silently read the note from his teacher that he handed her; Kairi's father grumbled some, but the fact that Shina came over to their home with a ten-pound trout as thanks for all of Kairi's help kept it toned down.

Shina took a trout to Riku's house as well, and delivered it to his father at the gate with a polite thanks. It wasn't as formal as she would have been if Chihoko had come out to take it; Shina was more comfortable with Yasuhiro. They'd come from the same neighborhood before he'd married into Chihoko's family after graduation.

*

  
Long after Chihoko thought that Riku had gone to bed and Yasuhiro knew that he'd snuck out, she sat on the edge of their bed and reread the teacher's note. Yasuhiro found her there when he returned from checking all the doors and windows.

"...I'll talk to him tomorrow," he offered. "His grades are already slipping; I'll make sure he knows he can't add truancy."

"He'll stop going for a week to spite us," Chihoko replied matter-of-factly.

Yasuhiro considered that for a time, and then exhaled and sat down beside her. "I'll put it delicately," he said with a wry smile, which faded when his wife didn't look over.

He reached out and began rubbing her neck, feeling the knots caused by the stress of the recent week and the last few years. "You need to sleep," he chided gently. "You're exhausted all the time."

"I knew what this life would be," she replied. Then she huffed and folded the note abruptly in half, running her fingers over the crease to make it sharp. "I'll be in bed shortly," she said, before pulling away and standing up. "I need to write a letter."

Long ago, he would have tried to cajole her into putting it off until the morning so she wouldn't be up for another hour making sure each phrase was perfect. But over time he'd learned that even when he _had_ managed to talk her into doing that, she'd remained awake regardless, considering details and planning for contingencies. His wife took her duties seriously; she couldn't simply stop and walk away from them, even just for a few hours to get some rest.

"Okay," Yasuhiro replied. He lay back in the bed as she left for her study, already planning to make her a cup of chamomile tea if she was still writing half an hour from now.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kairi and Riku; some things couldn't be learned until the trio was parted again.

Chihoko went to the dock that same night to ensure her letter would be sent out on the first boat of the day. Solada's father received it a little before noon, and then had one of his employees pull her out of school.   
  
  
"...Isn't this kind of sudden?" Solada asked, shifting on the couch.

It was an understatement; but these were her parents, so she had to be polite.

"Yep," her father agreed. He leaned back in his chair. "I don't know what that family's thinking."

"They probably found out he knocked up some girl while he was gone for a year," her mother said, eying the note in her hand sourly as she paced the floor.

"Year and a half," her father corrected. Solada bit her lip.

Her mother paced for several moments longer and then stopped abruptly. "This deal is starting to look like a losing one," she announced, before looking at Solada. "Would you be willing to put up with it, if that's it?"

She fidgeted with the edge of her skirt, staring at the hem to avoid her parents' eyes on her.

This whole thing seemed crazy, or at least stupid, and mostly both. Solada didn't think there was actually a bastard kid somewhere--judging by how Riku had acted around her at the festival, he probably didn't even _know_ how to get to that point--but she had some major doubts about tying herself to a family that acted like this.

But their family needed money to expand, and Riku's had resources and contacts and wealth.

If her stupid brother hadn't had to stupidly die in a stupid storm like a stupid, stupid idiot, he could be worrying about wives and marriage and she could still be in school right now, and not thinking about boys in terms of money and contracts and stupid future investments.

Solada realized she'd been quiet too long.

She shrugged. "They're the best offer, right?" she said. "We need someone with their kind of connections."

Her father nodded in agreement.

"And if there _is_ a kid?" her mother asked.

Solada shrugged again and picked at her skirt. "It won't hurt to have a spare."

Her mother looked down at the note once more, then sighed tiredly and crumpled it up.

"The boat there leaves in less than an hour," she said, tossing it on the couch. "Go get dressed and pack what you need to stay overnight. I'll book our passage."

Solada blinked and looked up. "Wait, today? I thought you just got it."

"If she's desperate, the negotiations are in our favor," her father replied, pushing himself out of the chair. "Strike while the iron's hot and all."

"...All right," she replied, standing up as well.

"Hurry," her mother said, shooing her up the stairs.

 _Stupid, stupid brother_ , Solada thought, as she stalked past his door.

*

  
"We really need to do something about him," Selphie said.

"Don't make things worse," Kairi replied, shaking her head. "It doesn't really matter."

"The whole classroom's awkward now, and he's half the reason for it!" she insisted, folding her arms.

Kairi looked over at her with a small smile. "Well, we don't beat each other up anymore and call it playing, so what're we supposed to do?"

That set Selphie thinking. Kairi shook her head again and looked back down the path. Then she squinted and shaded her eyes.

"What is it?" Selphie asked, setting aside the problem of Masao for now.

"I think it's newcomers," she replied. Selphie considered the people she was looking at, and then fell into step with Kairi as they headed toward them.

"Hi," Kairi called, when they were close enough. The three stopped and turned to look at them, and she curtseyed briefly in greeting. "I'm the mayor's daughter. Can I help you find where you're looking for?"

"Yes," the woman said. "We're here to meet with Chihoko, the landowner. I got directions at the port, but we're lost anyway."

"Oh," Kairi said. "She's visiting a tenant with her husband and son right now." She gestured down the path. "But my father's house is near theirs. Do you want to rest there while you wait? You'll be able to see them coming from our library."

"Of course," the woman replied. "Thank you."

"It's nothing," Kairi assured them. She turned back to Selphie.

"Guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Selphie asked.

Kairi nodded. "I'll catch up with you before school."

"Sora's not going to be back?"

"I don't think so," she answered. "When we asked Captain Ginjiro, he said he and his mom stayed on the mainland visiting relatives."

Selphie exhaled. "I guess he really isn't going to be in class again after this summer," she murmured. "That sucks for you."

Kairi shrugged a shoulder. "We have plenty of time to be together outside of school," she said. "And his mom needs the help."

Selphie nodded without looking completely convinced. Then she glanced over at the strangers. "Well...okay. See you."

"Bye!" Kairi called, before turning back to them. "Sorry about that. This way."   
  
  
At her house, she introduced the three newcomers to her father. Then, while he entertained the adults in the library, she invited their daughter Solada to hang out in her room.

Once they were inside, the girl exhaled. "You're pretty good at this," she complimented. "Our headman's kids are kind of snooty."

Kairi chuckled once. "Thanks." She sat down on the bed while Solada wandered around the room, looking at everything. "Your belt's really pretty."

Solada's smile was delayed as she glanced down at it. "Thanks. It's sea otter."

Kairi whistled. Otters were protected, because they ate the sea urchins that would demolish kelp supplies if they were let to run rampant; Destiny Islands wasn't even allowed to trap them. "Those can be hunted where you're from?"

"Nuh-uh," Solada replied, shaking her head. "But the island to the north of us can bring in a limited amount a year."

"Wow." Kairi leaned back on her hands as Solada paused in front of her mirror, readjusting the belt buckle with a worried look, like she was handling something more expensive than she was used to. "Why are you guys visiting Riku's family? Are you thinking of getting a summer house?"

"Sort've," she answered. "My parents and his are arranging a marriage." She half-smiled. "I guess it'd be more of an import house than a summer one."

Solada tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then clasped her hands tightly to stop fidgeting. She moved away from the mirror. "So you know Riku, right? Is he an okay guy?"

"Yes," Kairi said.

Solada let out a breath. "Is he just hard to get to know, then?"

"...I guess, to other people," she said. "When we were younger."

Solada started to raise an eyebrow and ask how much worse he could have been as a kid; but then she noticed the two ripening bananas sitting on Kairi's desk. She moved closer, and confirmed that they were part of the bunch she'd left for Riku when he'd stayed over at her parents' house.

They were supposed to be a betrothal present, and he just gave half of them away. That guy.

"Geez," she said after a moment, before looking up at the wall above the desk. Several photos were tacked to it, of Riku and Kairi and some other boy, some from recently and some from long ago. "So...are you two childhood friends?"

"Yes," Kairi said, and, "We're engaged."

Solada paused.

She looked at the pictures again, and then over at Kairi. "...Since when?"

"I guess three days ago, officially," Kairi said after thinking back. "It feels longer." She gave Solada a faint smile. "I knew his mother didn't like it, but I didn't know she was going this far."

"...Okay," Solada said, before pausing. "I just--okay. Uh. I thought that Sora guy was your boyfriend, with the way you talked about him."

"He's the boy Riku and I are going to marry," Kairi replied, folding her hands in her lap.

Solada stared at her.

Kairi knew she was being unkind, but she'd already lost Sora and Riku before. Nothing was taking them from her again.

Solada pinched the bridge of her nose, and then pressed her whole hand to her face. "What family are you from that you need _two_ husbands?" she asked, giving Kairi a disbelieving look through her fingers. "Is this normal on this island?"

"No," Kairi replied, answering the second question to avoid the first. "It's been kind of awkward."

Solada snorted. "Yeah, I guess," she replied. After another moment, she leaned back against the desk.

"So Riku's parents knew about this?" she asked.

Kairi nodded. "So do mine and Sora's."

"Geez," Solada muttered under her breath.

At least now the letter made sense.

She looked down at the bananas again, then out the window. The sun was sunk low in the sky, but not quite at sunset yet.

So Riku's parents had known about this, and tried to use her and her family to prevent it. Solada wasn't sure rather to be more pissed off or insulted. Just how beneath them did they think her family was? Just who did they think they were? Just who did they think _she_ was?

Finally she closed her eyes and turned away, tucking more hair behind her ear. "Well, at least I got to skip class."

"I'm sorry you came out here for nothing," Kairi said genuinely.

Solada gave her a long look. "You're pretty confident in him, huh? Them," she corrected.

Kairi nodded.

"All right," the girl said. "...Good luck, I guess."

"Thanks," Kairi said.

She glanced out the window, looking up at the sky. "They should probably be home now, or at least headed there. It was some unscheduled plumbing maintenance, but Riku said it wouldn't take that long to fix."

Downstairs, her father called, "Kairi? They're leaving now."

Solada blew her bangs out of her face, then shrugged. "Bye."

"Goodbye," she replied, seeing her to the head of the stairs.   
  
  
Solada's parents had indeed caught sight of Riku's own headed down the road past Kairi's house. They had thanked Hiromasu for his hospitality, collected their daughter, and then rushed to catch up with them. If either Chihoko or Yasuhiro was surprised to see them, they didn't show it; they just invited them in for dinner.

Solada took the first chance she could to get close to Riku and say, "Can I talk to you, _alone_."

*

  
Riku's house was nicer than her parents'. Not by a ton, and maybe some of it was just different architectural styles between their islands, but his house was definitely bigger. He also seemed to have a whole wing to himself.

 _Ge-eeez_ , Solada thought, staring out past his balcony at the ocean. _This was definitely the best offer_.

Shame it came from a family of jerks.

"What do you want?" Riku asked. He was standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets.

"So when were you going to mention you were secretly engaged?" she demanded.

Riku blinked.

"It wasn't a secret," he replied, and Solada stared at him.

"Then why didn't you _say_ something, so we didn't waste money coming down here?" she retorted.

"I didn't know she was doing this."

That was probably true, or else he would have warned Kairi. Maybe. Unless he was quadruple-timing with someone _else_.

"Were you **ever** going to mention it? Or if I hadn't met your girlfriend, would this have just kept on going? What were you going to do when they started planning the wedding?"

"I wouldn't have gone," Riku replied.

Solada paused, took a moment to process that, and then scowled. "Do you have any idea what that would have done to relations between your family and mine?"

Riku shrugged a shoulder, but kept watching her. "They know that Sora and Kairi are the ones I care about. They just keep ignoring it."

Solada felt an overwhelming desire to smack her forehead.

She forced the feeling down. _What do you expect from somebody raised in a family like this_ , she thought, and set her hands on her hips. She started stalking across the room, leaving a good amount of space between the two of them as she paced.

"Look," Solada said, "I know it's hard to be an only child in families like ours, but this isn't cool. You should have said something. I could have been focusing on offers that actually would have done something for me."

"Sorry," he said, sounding more like he was trying to end the conversation than that he meant it.

"Yeah, well, 'sorry' isn't good enough," she replied, and turned to face him. "You owe me."

Riku's expression hardened. He shifted one foot back, pulled his hands out of his pockets, and tilted his head slightly so that his bangs weren't in his vision as much.

"What do you want?" he asked again, but this time it sounded more like a threat.

Solada tightened her hands against her hips reflexively. Then she tilted her chin up, reminded herself whose daughter she was, and also reminded herself that she was closer to the door than him and there was a vase in the hall that she could smash into his face if she had to. Who knew what _that_ would do to the potential relationship between their families; but Riku's reputation was already pretty bad from that disappearing act he'd pulled. It wouldn't take too many rumors to poison it further in her favor.

"If your family owns the most land, then that means you must have connections with the families that do construction work, right?" she said. "I want to meet the one that has the most business."

Riku gave her a slightly puzzled look. "Why?"

"We own a rubber plant," Solada replied, trying to keep exasperation out of her voice. If he couldn't even be bothered to mention his secret girlfriend-and-boyfriend, why would he have remembered what her family did? Better not to ruin this. "I want to arrange an import contract with them."

Riku considered her for several more long moments. Finally, he slid his hands back into his pockets, resuming his slouch.

"Fine," he said. "Let's go."

 _What, now?_ she almost asked; but at this point in the day it was starting to seem normal. "All right."   
  
  
Chihoko noticed them passing the living room, and caught up to them in the entranceway.

"Don't go too far," she suggested. "Dinner is nearly ready."

"I'm taking her to see Masao," Riku said.

Chihoko paused. "That's out of the neighborhood," she replied. "Maybe we should eat first."

"She ran into Kairi on the way here," Riku said. "She knows I'm already engaged. She wanted to meet with the main construction family about an import contract instead, and if it waits until after dinner it'll be too late to go over."

Chihoko raised an eyebrow and looked at Solada appraisingly. She forced down the embarrassment and reminded herself that this was the woman who had cost her family three boat passages, and stared back.

"I see," Chihoko finally said. "So what do you want me to tell your parents?" she asked her.

"The truth's been popular lately," Riku said, and stepped out the door.

Solada glanced between it and Chihoko, whose expression had gone blank. She felt uncomfortable just leaving after Riku's comment, but on the other hand she really needed to gain something from her family's trip down here.

Finally she smiled awkwardly, said "We'll be back soon," and slipped outside, jogging to catch up to Riku. Behind them, Chihoko closed the door.

The sun had finally set, but the twilight was stretched out as long as if it were the middle of summer. The weather here was really weird, Solada thought as she followed behind Riku.

She spent the rest of the walk trying to figure out if he were cruel or just completely stupid about how to deal with other people.

***

  
Masao jumped at the knock on his window. He quickly shoved the drawing he'd been finishing under the nearest textbook before turning to glare at the trespasser.

He blinked when he saw it was Riku.

Masao hunched a shoulder in closer to himself and tightened his grip on the pencil. Then he noticed the non-islander behind him.

He waited a few more moments, but Riku just stood there. Finally Masao double-checked that the drawing was hidden and shoved away from the desk.

"What do you want?" he demanded as he pushed the window open.

"This is Solada," Riku said, gesturing to the girl. "She wants to talk to your family. Hers has a rubber plant."

This was weird. "Okay...?" Masao replied.

Riku looked over his shoulder. "Do you need help in?"

"--Through the window?" she replied, looking at him strangely. Then she sighed. "Whatever. Can I come in?" she asked.

"Uh," Masao said. "Okay?"

She held out a hand to Riku.

He boosted her through the window. She kept a hand on the hem of her skirt to keep it down; Masao wondered what would happen if his mother walked in right now.

Once she was on the floor, Solada tugged down on her skirt again, pushed her hair out of her face, and looked at him. "Hi. I'm Solada," she said.

"Masao," he replied.

"As Riku said, my family owns a rubber plant," she said. "On a different island. Our negotiations with his family have...fallen through, so I asked Riku to introduce me to yours to see if we could help each other--where did he go?"

She'd glanced over her shoulder at the window. Riku was no longer there.

Masao stared at the window himself, and then exhaled.

"Yeah, he does that," he said, and sat back down.

"What is _with_ this place?!" Solada cried in exasperation.

"Riku isn't a good example of Destiny Islands," he replied, and she seemed to remember why she was here. "Want a seat?" Masao asked, gesturing to the bed.

Solada smoothed her skirt again and sat on the foot of the bed. "Anyway," she said.

"A rubber plant?" he asked.   
  
  
They didn't talk for long. Masao couldn't really commit to anything without his parents' approval, and Solada had only had a vague idea of how they might be able to combine their industries despite being on different islands. Still, Masao was kind of impressed. If their parents agreed to an alliance, she seemed like she'd be a decent business partner.

Solada had started pacing as they talked; Masao was honestly surprised neither of his parents had come in to see what was going on, though he cared less about having to explain a stranger in his bedroom by now. She paused by his desk.

"We're leaving on the afternoon boat," she finished. "Will it be possible to speak to your parents sometime in the morning?"

"I'll tell them about this tonight and see what they say."

"If they agree, of course," she said. "I'll let my own know about all this."

"Are you staying in Riku's home?" he asked, and she nodded. "I'll go by tomorrow morning."

"Thank you," Solada said, and glanced down at his desk.

"You draw?" she asked.

Masao instinctively looked over. The drawing was still under the textbook, but a corner was sticking out.

"Some," he said, folding his arms. "Mostly architecture. It's useful for the business."

She nodded. "Must be nice to be talented."

Masao wasn't sure what to say to that, so he shrugged.

"Okay," she murmured, and looked at the window again. "Do you have any idea where he'd go? I can't go back to the house without him."

"He's probably at his girlfriend's," Masao said, "since Sora's off the island."

Solada straightened up and stared down at him.

"Did _everyone_ here know about that?" she asked.

Masao blinked and raised an eyebrow at her.

Solada dragged a hand through her hair, finally ruining the style her mother had carefully arranged while they were on the boat. "We rushed here so I could get engaged, and then I run into his girlfriend and she tells me they're both marrying some boy and _everybody_ here knew this?!"

"Marrying?" Masao repeated.

"That's what they said," she muttered, dropping her hand and resting it on her hip.

He was silent.

"How long has it been gossip?" she demanded.

He shook his head and brought his attention back to her. "Not long. It came up in class last week."

Solada sighed tiredly. "Okay. Can you tell me how to get to her house, then? Please?"

"It's--" He was interrupted by a tap on the windowpane.

"It's dark," Riku said. "Do you need more time?"

"--No," Solada replied. "We're done."

"Then we should head back."

(Riku _had_ been at Kairi's, to warn her. She'd sent him back when he mentioned what'd happened, telling him it was mean to leave someone alone in a place they didn't know.)

"Yeah, okay," Solada said. She looked over at Masao. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll stop by to tell you what they said either way," he confirmed.

"Thank you very much," she replied. "I think we can profit from each other."

"Probably," he agreed, which was all he could say. It was up to his parents.

Riku helped her through the window again. When Masao went over to shut it, Solada called an apology for getting any shoeprints on his bed; he said it was fine and closed the window. He watched the two of them head down the road until they disappeared behind a rise.

After that, he went back to his desk, sat down, and pulled the drawing out from under the book.

Masao looked at it for a few moments, and then did the same thing he did with every drawing he made of Riku: he folded it in half and tore it up before shoving it to the bottom of his trashcan.

"Asshole," he muttered to the empty room. _He's marrying them_.

***

  
That evening, Kairi was woken by the sound of a storm. She sat on the edge of the bed for several moments, rubbing her eyes, before going to the window and opening the curtains.

The worst of the storm was over the play island.

Kairi stared at it for a long time, hand clenching the curtain. Her grip was tight enough that when she winced at the next loud thunderclap, the fabric strained on the rod.

Kairi shook her head and forced herself to let go. Then she inhaled slowly, exhaled, pushed the curtain back, shoved the window open, and climbed out.

She jumped down to the ground, landing with an 'umph,' and then had to scramble up over the wall and jump again onto the path. The gate would've been easier, but her father's bedroom windows faced it.

The palm of her hand itched as she made her way toward the beach, her keyblade waiting to be called.   
  
  
Riku's boat wasn't at the dock. When she reached the play island, Kairi tied her boat up by his and made her way to the cave.

She finally summoned the keyblade when she started down the tunnel. She kept it up and ready as she jogged; it wasn't until she got inside and saw Riku standing at the Door that she finally let her arm drop.

Kairi stuck her keyblade into the dirt and started to wring out her hair. "You should have gotten me."

"You were sleeping," Riku replied, turning to face her. Way to the Dawn was gripped lightly in his hand.

Kairi pulled her keyblade free and went over to him. Riku looked back at the Door.

"The weather's been bad before, but not like this. Not just over the play island," she said. "Why's it doing this?"

"Because Sora's not here," Riku said quietly.

Kairi's eyes widened.

"It's _never_ been like this?" he asked.

She shook her head, still staring at the Door.

He frowned. "I thought this was how the island protected itself, but if it hasn't done this before...." He laid a hand against the Door. "Maybe it's the keyblades. Or...." He was silent for a long time, and then his hand curled into a fist. "Mickey would know," he muttered.

Kairi looked at him for a while, as the rain spilled in through the gap in the cave's ceiling and the storm continued outside, and slowly she understood how much it had to grate at him to have the sole path away from this place sealed up when the only way to gain answers lay on the other side.

It had to hurt. He'd always been the one who wanted to travel, even when they were children; and she knew now that he was trying to sort out ways that the three of them could live most of their lives on this island because Sora, and she, were bound more tightly to here than him.

It had to hurt.

Kairi looked at the Door again, feeling the keyblade humming in her hand.

They could probably open a gummi route. Even if Sora had said he'd never seen one on the outside, surely the two of them could open one from this side; if it came down to it, maybe they could _make_ one if that's what it took. Maybe Riku could even do it on his own. Maybe she could, even, if she wanted it enough; she still wasn't totally sure how her keyblade worked.

Riku scowled suddenly, and a moment later the storm surged in intensity. Rain poured in through the opening, pelting them both.

Kairi's eyes narrowed. "Back up," she warned him, before lifting the keyblade. When Riku pulled his hand back, she pressed the tip of the blade against the Door.

Maybe they _could_ open a way out. But it would be when they decided to. And she'd make sure this world was safe first.

"Light," she cast in a hard voice, and felt the magic wash through her and the keyblade and into the Door and through it to whatever was in the darkness locked away in the heart of this bright, bright world.

It was different, using magic in a real fight. Before, it had only been practice with Sora and Riku, and the last time she'd fought actual monsters she hadn't known any spells. All she'd been able to do was run in swinging and hit as much as she could.

Now she couldn't even see the enemies. She didn't know how well the magic was working. Kairi knew that it _was_ , and it felt like the darkness that had been oozing against the edges of the Door was being pushed back. The storm definitely wasn't as loud as before. But she didn't know if it was enough.

"Light!" she cast again.

Riku closed his eyes and pressed his free hand against the Door.

A moment later, Kairi felt him slip through her attack, reaching out to the darkness beyond it. As her magic dissipated, Riku slid his hand along the Door, slowly curling it up into a fist. She refrained from casting Light again.

Riku drew in a slow breath. Then he opened his hand sharply and **pushed**.

Behind the Door, Kairi felt the darkness slide farther away as he ordered it to. Soon it was farther back than her magic could reach.

She kept the keyblade up for a few more moments, just in case, even though she knew it wasn't needed any more right now. Then she let it fall to her side. Riku was still for a little longer, but he finally pulled his hand back, took a step away, and opened his eyes.

 _No wonder other people are afraid of him_ , Kairi thought.

He didn't use his powers often on the island, except for a few times while sparring. He'd never done anything like this before, sliding an attack through her own in a way Kairi was pretty sure light and darkness weren't normally supposed to do.

No wonder he'd done so much alone, rather than risk teaming up with others and having them turn on him as soon as the battle was over, thinking he was another enemy. Kairi wondered how many times it had happened anyway.

But she and Sora weren't other people. And they would be able to explain, to make people see that he wasn't like the others who used the darkness. If they weren't able to see Riku's heart, they could at least listen to her and Sora's words.

They weren't going to let anyone hurt him again.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked, taking a step closer to her.

"Wow," Kairi said. She looked at her keyblade, and then the Door. "...Wow."

"Pretty cool," Riku said with a faint grin.

"No kidding," she replied. "Is that what a limit break feels like?"

He shook his head. "Not even close."

"Wow," Kairi murmured.   
  
  
The storm died out several minutes later, but they waited in the cave until it was clearly over. Just in case.

"So you think the keyblades are calling the world's heart closer?" she asked, as they made their way back through the tunnel.

"It got worse once you got here tonight," he replied. "And if it was never this bad before, there were never three keyblade bearers here."

"That makes sense..." Kairi said slowly, wringing out the edge of her nightgown. Riku glanced over, then shrugged off his vest and draped it over her shoulders.

"Thanks," she said.

"You're welcome."

Kairi shook her hair out briefly so it wouldn't drip too much on the fabric, and Riku leaned away. She snorted. "Really?"

"I've been rained on enough," he replied.

Kairi started to point out that he'd been rained on less than her; but then she paused. She bit the inside of her cheek and looked over at him with a grin.

"Why shouldn't you be wet?" she retorted. "I'm _soaking_."

Riku blinked once, and then sniggered loudly.

"Well," he replied, holding out an arm mock-gallantly. "I should do something about that. Or I'd be a pretty bad boyfriend."

"A terrible one," she agreed, taking his arm. "Lucky me, you aren't."

***

  
Riku made his way back to his parents' house slowly after seeing Kairi home, and stayed on his balcony, leaning over the railing. He was never tired at night--he only got sleepy around the middle of the day--and he wasn't now. But he felt loose, more relaxed, and he wanted to stay out under the sky for a while before he had to go in and deal with everything inside the house.

It was close to dawn by now, but the stars were nearly all still visible. Riku rested his forearms on the balcony and stared up at them, thinking about gummi routes and the other side of the Door.

Then he noticed the girl coming down the path.

He caught her scent before she was close enough to be in sight. Riku frowned slightly, then jumped off the balcony and crossed the lawn to vault the wall. He aimed for the area closest to where she was; she paused when he landed on the path, and clasped her hands in front of her.

That settled it. Kairi never stood like that. "Naminé?"

"Hi," she smiled.

"Hi," Riku replied.

She only had on the white slip that Kairi wore beneath her dress. Riku immediately shrugged off his vest and unzipped his shirt and draped them both over her shoulders.

"Thank you," Naminé said, pulling them closer.

"...You should let her sleep tonight," Riku said a few moments later, without much emphasis. "We had to fight earlier."

Naminé nodded. "I know. I only...she was worried about you. And I...." She glanced at the ground for a moment, one hand still holding his shirt and vest closed, and then looked back at him. "I was too."

"What were you worried about?" Riku replied with a grin. "That was nothing."

"Not the battle," Naminé said. "How unhappy you are here."

Riku felt the grin slip away, but made an effort to at least keep a small smile. "It's not that bad."

Naminé looked at him, in that quiet way that sometimes felt like it went deeper than Sora or Kairi could ever do; deeper than he ever wanted them to be able to, because he didn't want them to have to understand the ugliness in him to the point that she could. He stopped smiling.

"It'll be fine," Riku said. "In a couple years, Kairi will graduate and we can move to the other side of the volcano. And we'll have to be traveling again by then, to make sure things aren't getting too bad. It'll be okay."

Naminé laid a hand on his heart. "Sora told her that you were going to try summoning dark corridors again."

"Tch," Riku muttered. "Not now. Just in case something happens and we need a backup plan. I **told** him that." He hesitated, then rested a hand over her own.

"He was pretty insistent that there had to be another way," Naminé said with a small smile.

"Yeah, I know," Riku said, shaking his head. "And Kairi agrees?"

"Their current plan if you try involves sitting on you until you come to your senses," she informed him.

Riku made a face. "A lot of their plans involve sitting on me."

"They like touching you," Naminé said.

Riku was silent, and tried not to glance down at their hands.

"Is he getting stronger?" she asked.

He hesitated again, unsure whether to answer. He had learned, the hard way--from Roxas--that when he spoke to one of them, the other could hear too, unless they didn't want to listen. He didn't want to worry her, either of them; any of them. But it was probably something he shouldn't keep secret, either.

"A little," Riku finally said. "Not much. All he can do is talk."

Ansem had changed, too; something in his memories seemed wrong, or missing maybe, like this time the light had destroyed a little more of him than before. But Riku wasn't sure whether that mattered or not, and it didn't have much to do with her question, so he didn't mention it.

"...Do you want me to try unlocking that part of his darkness for you?" Naminé asked, so quietly he almost missed it.

Riku blinked and looked down at her. "--You can do that?"

"Maybe," she said. "I could lock up all of it, and I think I could unlock all of it, but only one part...." She looked at their hands, or maybe she was looking at his heart behind them. "I could at least see." She glanced up at his eyes once more, briefly, and Riku felt again how strange it was trying to figure out what their relationship should be now that she was finally back with Kairi. "I don't want to see you hurt yourself either."

"I won't do it unless I have to," Riku said, the same thing he'd assured Sora and planned to tell Kairi.

"What will qualify as 'have to'?" Naminé asked.

He exhaled. "I don't know yet."

"Do you want me to try?"

Riku looked at her for a little while, thinking about it.

Finally he smiled.

"I'm pretty sure my parents would spaz out if I suddenly fell asleep for a few days," he replied. "And I don't want to make this any easier for him than it is."

"Okay," Naminé said. "Please don't try it on your own, then."

"I won't unless I have to."

She just looked at him. Riku looked back, silent, because of the three of them he knew she understood the necessity of sacrifices.

Naminé sighed quietly, and turned her hand on his chest upward to clasp his own. "Not unless you absolutely have to."

"I promise."

"All right," she said.

They stood there for a while, unsure what else to say. Eventually Naminé looked up at the sky, and then pulled her hand away. Riku let go and let her.

"I should go back," she said, and slipped out of his clothes. "She'll be tired."

He nodded once, and took the shirt and vest when she held them out. "Do you want me to walk you back?"

Naminé shook her head. "It's fine. It's not far." She smiled. "And I like walking here."

"All right." He paused. "I'll see you later."

"Of course," Naminé said.

She turned and headed back down the path with a little wave. Riku pulled on his clothes and watched her go, until her scent faded enough that he knew she was back in Kairi's home.

Then he exhaled tiredly and turned around to look at the walls surrounding his parents' house. That girl was still in there, with her parents; Masao would be showing up tomorrow, and he would have to deal with his own parents' reaction to these stupid marriage plans falling through. Maybe he should just go back to the beach--he'd just have to return before it got too light and the neighbors would be able to see him sneaking inside. At least the sea wasn't as chokingly close a barrier as the walls.

 _No ocean will contain you then_.

Riku blinked once, surprised by the memory.

There had been more to it, he recalled: more words, and promises, and a chant.

How had he forgotten? He'd used to know it by heart. He'd thought about it every time he went to the play island, either with Sora's father or on their own when they finally had the boats; he'd turned the words over in his mind night after night. And yet, he hadn't thought about that stranger since....

He hadn't thought about it since he'd begun listening to the whispering behind the Door.

Riku scowled, and vaulted the wall sharply.  
  
  


"Must be hard, huh, being stuck in one place."


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku, Kairi and Sora: still sorting some things out when it comes to relationships.

Kairi yawned again as she dragged her brush through her hair.

Sorry, Naminé said. I didn't mean to be up so long.

 _That's okay_ , Kairi replied. _I ran off to fight stuff, I think that kept me up longer than you talking to Riku_.

Maybe a little, Naminé agreed.

Kairi looked as neat as she was willing to shoot for, so she dropped the brush on the counter and went to find her bookbag.

 _I hope Sora comes back soon_ , Kairi thought, mostly to herself. Or will that make it worse?

It was probably inevitable, Naminé replied. Riku told me once that from gummispace, Destiny Islands looks like a glowing ball of light. So there must be a lot of darkness trying to fill the void.

 _So the keybearers are just icing on the cake_.

I think so. I've never seen it from there, Naminé explained. But I know that that much light attracts a lot of darkness.

Huh, Kairi thought, as she shoved her homework into her bag and headed downstairs.

She was tired. It wasn't until she was in the front hallway that she thought: _So a heart of pure light draws darkness to it_.

Her father found her five minutes later, still standing in the hall. When he asked if something was wrong, Kairi couldn't answer at first.

*

  
She was running late for school, partly because it took a while to assure her father that she was fine, and partly because she walked too slowly to arrive at her usual time. Selphie had already headed out from their meeting spot.

Kairi turned right at the large tree, and moments later saw Sora burst out of the undergrowth and take off down the path ahead of her.

"Sora!"

He skidded to a stop and turned around, breaking into a grin. "Hey, Kairi!"

"You're back!" She jogged up to him and hugged him tightly. Sora flailed a little in surprise before finally getting himself together and hugging her back. A moment later Kairi leaned away to look at him.

"Wait'll you hear what happened while you were gone," she said.  
  
  
"So Riku thinks we're drawing the darkness here?"

"He thinks the keyblades are," Kairi confirmed. "We probably aren't helping."

"So why would the attacks get stronger when I left?" he asked.

"Maybe because with you gone the defense seemed weaker?"

"But why's it behind the Door already?"

"I don't know," Kairi said honestly. "Naminé thinks it was inevitable. She said Destiny Islands looks like a big ball of light from gummispace, so there must be a void in there."

"Oh, yeah," Sora agreed, folding his arms behind his head. They weren't walking as quickly as they should have. "I asked Chip and Dale. They said there were old reports like that, but I couldn't see it on the guidance system since there wasn't a gummi route," he added, arms dropping.

When they finally rounded the last bend on the path to the school, they saw Riku and Masao at the gate. Masao was talking, but Riku wasn't looking at him; he was staring at the road where they'd just appeared. Sora waved, and Riku half-smiled.

Masao glanced over at Sora, and her, and turned around and went through the gate.

"Took you long enough to get back," Riku said when they came up to him.

"It's not my fault, Mom wanted to visit everyone!" Sora replied. "I wanted to be here."

"Did things work out with Solada?" Kairi asked.

Riku shrugged. "Sounded like it. You missed a fight," he added to Sora with a smirk.

"Yeah, Kairi said," Sora replied. "Who's Solada?"

The bell rang, both saving Riku from answering then and consigning him to continual harassment by Sora during class until he finally threw back a note explaining.  
  
  
When are you going to talk to them about this morning? Naminé asked later.

Kairi watched Riku turn around and pelt Sora in the face with a crumpled piece of paper while the teacher's back was turned, and didn't answer.  
  
  
After Sora had uncrumpled the note and read it, he fell quiet.

***

  
Whatever had been distracting Kairi and Sora, they were over it by lunch.

"If you got all the fish sold, why didn't you come back?" Riku asked, fighting down the urge to yawn. Noon light was flooding the yard outside.

"I told you, Mom wanted to visit relatives," Sora answered around a bite of rice.

"I thought your mother was alone," Kairi replied.

"Yeah, these were Dad's," Sora said, and Kairi nodded with an 'ahhh.'

"Is everything okay?" Riku asked, waking up a little. "I thought your grandma didn't like her."

"Maybe...." Sora frowned at his food. "We didn't go to her house."

He shrugged, and Kairi took another bite of pork cutlet, and Riku glanced over the classroom again, still in the habit of continually casing places he was resting in. He forced down another yawn.

Doing so, he caught Selphie's eye. She winked at him before shaking her head in mild exasperation and refocusing on the other girls she was sitting with.

Riku eyed the room once more, this time not reflexively checking for enemies but rather noting how the three of them looked to others. He and Kairi had shoved two desks up to Sora's and were sitting partially isolated; there were other groups in the room, but they were all a good distance away. Selphie's was the closest. Their classmates were mainly ignoring them, though a few glanced over once in a while.

 _Who cares?_ he thought. _They're mine. Back off_.

But then he thought _Kairi has to be here two more years_ , one longer than him if he didn't give up and get himself kicked out before graduating. _Don't make it harder for her_.

He stared at Selphie again, until she noticed and caught his eye once more. Riku jerked his head slightly at their desks.

He didn't see her give any signal to Tidus and Wakka, but suddenly all three of them were there, hauling chairs up to the desks and taking up all the remaining space with their lunches.

"Yo, Sora," Wakka greeted. "How was the mainland?"

"Did you see any games?" Tidus added.

"Just one," Sora said. "I went with my uncle. Your dad was awesome!" he added.

"'Course," was all Tidus replied.

"You missed _so much_ schoolwork," Selphie added gleefully.

Sora flopped down on his desk, head barely missing the food. "I knoooooooow."

It was weird to have so many allies, Riku thought.

It was weird to have so many friends again.

 _Three people at this table ceased to exist because of you_ , Ansem murmured.

 _Shut **up**_ , Riku snapped. It wasn't as forceful as he wanted, because he'd been thinking the same thing.

_This is no place for you._

_Shut up._

_You're meant to be somewhere without borders, aren't you? None around, or below, or--_

_Stay out of my memories_ , Riku said coldly.

_Why? You gave them to me when you gave me everything else._

_I didn't_ , he hissed. _You took. I never--_

But that was a lie, and he knew it.

"You okay, Riku?" Tidus asked. 

"Yeah," he replied, relaxing his shoulders. "I must've slept weird last night. My neck's tense."

"Ouch," Kairi sympathized.

"You should try my dad's salve," Wakka recommended.

"I've _smelled_ that stuff," Riku replied. "I'd choke and die from the fumes if it got anywhere near me."

"But your neck wouldn't hurt anymore, ya?"

"I wouldn't know," Riku said dryly. "I'd be dead."

"No you wouldn't," Sora said.

"I'd wanna be," Riku answered, and took another bite of papaya.

He let the others carry the conversation, and stuck to eating and casing the classroom occasionally. Their closeness wasn't as obvious with Tidus and the rest there, and nobody was really looking over any more, which was probably all that could be done for now.  
  
  
By the end of the day, Sora was fidgety again. He'd been quieter for a while, too, but that was probably because the pile of make-up work on the edge of his desk had been steadily growing with each class. Maybe that was also why he was restless; Riku guessed it was a decent reason, since it was a pretty decent pile. But then, Riku had stopped bothering to do any work that wasn't assigned and due in the same class period, so he couldn't empathize.

"It even _feels_ heavier," Sora complained, slumped theatrically to the side under the weight of his book bag.

"It's just papers," Riku replied. "Jiminy carried a whole journal around for years, didn't he? And he didn't complain."

"It was a tiny journal!"

"Jiminy's a cricket," Riku pointed out. "What's tiny to you was probably the size of his head."

"Yeah, well," Sora said, and left off to think of a good comeback.

"You sure you want to go home?" Riku asked Kairi. They'd paused at the fork in the path where she had to split off to her place; Sora had followed them to their neighborhood.

"One of us has to graduate," she replied with a grin, hefting her bag further up her shoulder.

"You don't need to do that much homework to graduate," Riku said, a logical argument he felt she didn't take seriously enough.

"If I don't get good math grades, Sora's mom isn't going to let me marry him," Kairi replied. "One of us has to."

"I can do math," Riku argued.

"But you don't have the grades to show it," Kairi countered. "You know how she is."

He made a face. "So what do I have to do? Gut smelly fish for the rest of my life?"

Riku regretted it as soon as he said it, but Sora just shook his head.

"Nah, you're building us a new shed," he said. "You're good."

"I still have to get the wood," Riku cautioned. "I don't think Dad's going to say yes if I just ask, and I can't steal much before it'd be noticeable."

"We'll just cut down a couple trees and saw the boards out of them!" Sora replied, folding his arms behind his head with a carefree grin. He'd apparently forgotten the back-breaking weight of his bag.

"...'We,'" Riku repeated suspiciously.

"Hey, what's with that tone?" Sora scowled.

Kairi shook her head, then patted Riku on the shoulder and said, "Thanks in advance for all your hard work. I'll see you guys in a couple hours, okay? It won't take me that long."

"We'll meet you on the beach," Sora offered, letting the slur on his work habits slide.

"Okay," she agreed, and turned away. She waved over her shoulder at them as she headed down the path.

When she was out of sight, Riku looked over. "You wanna go to the beach?" he asked, since Sora'd suggested it.

"Not the beach," Sora replied. "Let's go to the play island."

His arm was partly blocking his face, since he was still turned in Kairi's direction; but Riku noticed his cheeks were red. Before he could say anything, Sora added, "I just gotta go by home to get a blanket."

Riku's eyes widened. He stared at Sora, who was still looking down the road, as he put together what that meant.

When Sora shifted uncomfortably, Riku swallowed around his suddenly dry throat and said, "Yeah. Okay."

"Okay," Sora replied. He stayed still for a little longer.

Then he dropped his arms and turned around, heading down the path. Riku followed, wishing this whole world weren't so stupid and he could reach out and touch him right here.

*

  
Riku leaned over and spat onto the ground. He made a face and spat again, and then scraped dirt over the mess. None of their old gang came here besides them anymore, and for some reason none of the younger kids did either; but the last thing he needed was for someone to find it and realize they were using the play island to make out. Then he shifted back and crawled up slightly so he could look down at Sora.

"Hey," he said.

Sora blinked a couple times. "Hey," he mumbled.

Riku grinned, and refrained from saying _Told you you'd like it_. For now.

Sora's face was still half-covered by the hand he'd bitten down on. He'd been doing that ever since the first time Riku'd convinced him to let him go far enough to get Sora off, when Sora had bitten his shoulder hard enough it'd bled. Riku wished he wouldn't; he always wanted to pull Sora's hand away and press it down and tell him that he wanted to hear all of it, wanted to be sure that Sora was only thinking about him for a while. He'd survive getting bitten if that was the trade-off, that's what potions were for.

But that was probably creepy. Maybe. He'd have to see what Kairi did whenever the three of them _finally_....

If he'd known that year-long nap was going to set Sora back in the hormone department, he would have tried to fix it faster. He probably could have skipped a few more meals. Slept less. Ignored Nobodies that didn't actively go after him. Wouldn't have spent so much time trying to help her hide.

Before Riku's mind could catch up to his snark and make him wonder who he'd just thought about, Sora slid his hand away from his mouth. He rubbed his eye before blinking up at him again.

Riku was torn between wanting to snicker and wanting to kiss him. But that was definitely probably gross. He was pretty sure. At least until he rinsed his mouth out. He hadn't kissed Kairi afterward either time except the one she'd kissed him first; and Naminé didn't count because they hadn't had any _time_ and he hadn't known what he was doing for half of it....

But he still wanted to kiss him, so instead he leaned down and licked the side of Sora's neck, since the taste of sweat was better than semen. It wasn't really better or worse than going down on Kairi; both tasted kinda funny.

Though the last time he'd licked Sora, he'd gotten a weird look and a two-minute delay in any more fun in return. Riku was hoping this time it'd just be the look.

But instead, Sora made a noise in the back of his throat. A couple moments later, he tilted his head to the side, giving Riku more access.

Riku paused, and felt a shiver run down his spine. He ran a hand up Sora's side, and then rested it over his heart.

Sora had been acting different all day. Riku didn't know the exact reason; he figured part of it was just missing him and Kairi, like they'd missed him. But part of it was jealousy--he didn't know over what, he wasn't sure if _Sora_ even really knew--and the possessiveness that always shadowed that emotion. He could feel it there; but he thought it would've made Sora more demanding, not the opposite, all strange like this. It was weird, but maybe it was just because Sora's darkness wasn't like his and so it came out different, but that still seemed weird too, darkness was darkness regardless....

\--If he asked now, Sora might say yes. He could say yes and let Riku finally really have him. He'd been waiting and wanting for so long, long enough that sometimes he couldn't remember _not_ \--if he just asked....

He shifted, bracing his weight on his forearm and clenching the blanket. It was pointless, he didn't have anything. He had to go to the mainland to buy condoms, to avoid talk, and he hadn't bothered because he and Kairi weren't doing anything like that yet and Sora had just gone red when Riku mentioned it, so there wasn't anything like lube either...but he could think of something, something that would work for right now.

But that wasn't good enough. He wanted to be sure it would feel right, work out right; he couldn't screw it up. He had to make it good so Sora would let him do it again. He should've thought of this earlier, shouldn't have put it off waiting for Sora to go with him.

He jolted when Sora said "Riku?"

"Uh-huh?" he asked.

Sora pressed a hand hesitantly against his stomach. "Do you want...?"

"Yeah," he replied, and leaned in as Sora trailed his hand downward more confidently, because whatever Sora thought he wanted was fine.

 _Don't push it_ , Riku told himself, pressing his forehead against Sora's neck and keeping his grip on the blanket. _This is more than good enough for you_.

*

  
Sora fell asleep later, like a total dork. But Riku didn't feel like moving enough to wake him up. Instead he folded his arms under his head and stared at the sky through the hole in the cave, watching the light change as the sun moved.

He and Sora used to theorize about how it'd happened. Sora had thought it was caused by the monster that had supposedly lived in the cave; Riku'd assumed it was a cave-in, since the boulder on the ground was right under it. But now that he was older and had seen more, he'd begun to think the hole had been caused by that boulder--like someone had thrown it through the rock. It wasn't impossible for everyone.

 _I wanna be strong one day. Like that kid who left_.

Riku shut his eyes.

 _You gotta keep this a secret, okay? Otherwise all the magic will wear off_.

He didn't remember everything the stranger said before that--he'd started talking weird and formal, and Riku was still trying to piece it back together from abandoned memories--but he remembered the warning.

He'd never told anyone. Not Sora, not Tidus or Wakka, or Naminé or Kairi...never Maleficent. Ansem probably knew, since he couldn't keep the bastard out, but the replica's heart just slept all the time and Riku figured having his memories invaded wasn't the same as actually telling. He could still call Way to the Dawn, after all. It was still a secret.

At least if he ever ran into the guy again, it would be easy to tell it was him, Riku thought. He'd be the only other one with that memory.  
  
  
He caught Kairi's scent a while later, across the water.

She'd probably realize they were on the play island as soon as she saw their boats were missing, but Sora had said the beach and that ought to mean the beach.

Riku sat up and poked Sora in the side. "Hey, wake up."

"Nuuuuuuhh," Sora groaned, and swung an arm back at him. Riku blocked it casually and poked him again with his free hand. Sora rolled onto his side.

Riku rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll just go see Kairi myself."

Sora made a vague noise that didn't cross the line into comprehensible, so Riku figured he wasn't listening. He exhaled and grabbed his underwear.

Whatever. He liked the play island better than the beach, anyway, since it was more isolated. And he doubted Kairi would complain about having to paddle over when he told her Sora was naked in the cave. It'd serve him right to be embarrassed, too, the lazybones.

. . . He really had to go buy condoms and stuff soon.

He finished getting dressed and looked over at Sora as he was shoving his shoes on. "I'm leaving," Riku announced. "I'm bringing Kairi back here."

Sora's response was a snore.

"You were warned," Riku said cheerfully, and headed out.  
  
  
He reached the shore as Kairi was unmooring her boat. Riku slid out of his and waded the rest of the way up, and then paused and looked at her more closely.

Kairi was in the middle of untying it, or at least had been; but now she was just crouched beside it, rope in hand. Her eyes had that glazed, distant look Sora got sometimes when talking to Roxas.

He didn't want to interrupt her and Naminé, so instead he hauled his boat onto the sand and sat down nearby.

Whatever they were talking about, it took a while. Riku had settled back onto the beach by the time Kairi shook her head and looked over.

"Oh," she said, "hi."

He propped himself up on an elbow and shook the stray sand out of his hair. "Hey. Everything okay?"

"Mmhmm," she replied.

Riku shook the last of the sand out and studied her carefully, because he couldn't always tell when Kairi was lying. There was no darkness there for him to read.

She smiled at him. "It's fine. I'll tell you about it later--I can't stay long."

He frowned, thinking about her father. "Why not?"

Kairi looked sheepish. "I fell asleep while I was working," she told him. "I'm only about half done."

"That's all?" Riku snorted. "I'm telling you, you don't have to do all of it."

"I **did** do the math assignment first," she mused. "Where's Sora?"

Riku grinned evilly.  
  
  
By the time they got to the cave, they found Sora awake and pulling his pants on.

"Awwww!" Kairi pouted.

"Wha--hey! What're you doing here?"

"Hello to you too."

"You weren't getting up, so I brought her back here," Riku said.

"Why didn't you tell me!"

"I did," Riku grinned. "I totally warned you. It's not my fault you slept through it."

"It's not a warning if I'm asleep! What if I weren't dressed?!"

"We probably wouldn't still be standing over here," Kairi replied, and Sora turned a shade of red that looked nearly fatal.

Riku glanced over, about to give her a high-five, and saw that even though she was laughing behind her hand she was blushing too. He exhaled briefly, and looked back at Sora and sniggered.

She was shyer around Sora; he knew that. He'd made fun of Sora more than once for it. Riku slid his hand deeper into his pocket and waited for one of them to make the first move, because he was pretty sure they'd all figured things out with each other--at least, mostly, kind of--but all three of them together he still wasn't sure about.

What was he supposed to do while Sora and Kairi were kissing? At least, that didn't qualify as interrupting?

"Sorry," Kairi said, folding her hands behind her back, cheeks still pink. "We'll quit teasing you."

"Speak for yourself," Riku replied, but he slouched against the wall anyway. Sora grumbled something under his breath; but after a few more seconds of hesitation, he reached for his shirt.

Maybe none of them knew what to do together yet, Riku thought, as Sora kicked the blanket against the opposite wall in a sudden fit of embarrassment and Kairi snickered again. That was okay, then. They'd figure it out.

 _We'll get there_ , Riku thought to himself. _Don't push_.

*

  
That evening, Kairi knelt next to him while they were getting the boats ready to leave and murmured, "Maybe we should go shopping sometime. For, you know," she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "stuff."

Riku looked over.

Kairi fidgeted with her hair more. "I mean...I don't want to push him, but maybe if we just have them around, it won't seem so, it'll be easier, or...." She pursed her mouth for a moment, and then made an aggravated motion and went "Nyaaargh. I don't know. You know?"

Cool. It wasn't just him.

Riku laughed under his breath. "Yeah," he agreed. "I was thinking about buying it soon, when I can get to the mainland."

"The main--ooh, rumors. Right," she murmured. "Do you want me to do it?"

"Huh?"

"Your family's got clients on the mainland, right?" she said. "And Sora's got family there. But I don't. No one'll know me."

Riku frowned. It was a good point. It was a really good point, actually, but still. He and Sora were the guys, so weren't they supposed to buy the condoms?

"You'd be okay with that?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kairi replied, and tilted her head as if she didn't know why he'd think she wouldn't be. "We need them, right?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "Uh, okay then. Do you want any munny?"

"--Ooh! I still have all of Sora's from when we visited his mom," she said, straightening up. "I need to give that back. One sec," she added, turning toward where Sora had finished kicking sand over the embers of the fire where they'd cooked dinner.

"What were you talking with Naminé about?" Riku asked.

He didn't mean to; but he'd spent the last year and a half surviving by throwing people off when the opportunity presented itself, and it was still a habit. He felt bad about doing it to her, especially when Kairi paused and then immediately laced her fingers behind her back.

At least now he knew for sure she'd been lying. He'd pestered her with questions about where she was from a lot when they were kids, and she'd always done that before saying she didn't remember. She'd started it when he'd asked once why she always touched her pendant before answering.

"--Sorry," he said, when Kairi hadn't replied. "Never mind." He almost added _You said you'd tell me later_ , but thought it might sound bad, and didn't.

Kairi was silent for a moment longer, and then nodded.

"What's Destiny Islands look like from gummispace?" she asked.

Riku blinked. "Uh...." He shrugged. "Bright. It's hard to make out the islands past it."

"Naminé and Sora said it was a glowing ball of light."

Riku frowned again. "I could see the islands' silhouettes," he replied. "Why d'you ask?"

"Hey!" Sora called. He'd already dragged his boat into the surf. "You guys are taking forever!"

"Sorry!" Kairi hollered back. "We're talking about buying condoms!"

Sora had been teased enough at that point in the day that he managed to catch himself with his boat after misstepping. "I thought Riku and I were doing it."

Kairi started to wade out with her boat. "It'll make more sense for me to. Nobody'll recognize me on the mainland," she explained, and then Riku reached out and caught her elbow.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"...Nothing," Kairi said. "Really. Everything will be all right."

"Then what's wrong _now?_ "

She bit her lip. "...I...." She tried to take a step further out, but he didn't let go.

Sora sloshed over to them. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Did you remember something?"

"Huh?" Kairi blinked at him, and then reached up to touch her pendant. This time, Riku let go so she could. "Oh. No."

"Okay," Sora said. "What's up, then?"

Kairi shook her head. "Nothing. I need to give you your munny back, too."

"Oh, yeah!" He rubbed the back of head. "I forgot about that."

"I'll give it back when we're on the beach."

"Okay," Sora said amicably. He looked over at Riku. "Ready to go?"

"I guess," he replied, and slung his boat out onto the surf.  
  
  
Kairi and Riku left Sora at his house once the sun set, and started walking back to their neighborhood. When they were halfway there, Kairi moved closer and took his hand.

"I'll tell you guys," she said. "Just...let me sort it out first. It's not something we can fight."

"Okay," Riku replied, because as much as he didn't like being lied to, he didn't want to push too hard and drive her away, either. "We'll be here."

"Same here," Kairi said, and glanced up at him. "Did you tell Sora about Ansem yet?"

Riku paused, and then shook his head. "I will soon," he said, letting his bangs fall back over his eyes. "It's not a big deal yet."

"Okay," Kairi agreed, and it sounded like she trusted him to know. "We're here."

"...Yeah," Riku said, and smiled a little. "I know."

He squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back.

He did know, now. They were both there with him.

 _As long as you don't ruin it again_ , Ansem whispered, finishing his thought.

Riku closed his eyes and focused on Kairi's light beside him, until it was so sharp it almost burned when he inhaled.

 _I won't drown in this_ , Riku said nastily. _But you can't say the same, can you?_

 _Their lights are too bright_ , Ansem murmured, and Riku gritted his teeth.

 _That's the best you can do?_ he replied. _Repeat old lies?_

Ansem went on, like Riku knew he would. _It is only natural that they cast shadows on your heart_.

Kairi threaded her fingers through his and started humming quietly. Ansem faded away.

Whatever, Riku thought after a long moment. He was done with the old lines Ansem used to feed him. He was done with him.  
  
  
Riku walked Kairi back home, and slept out on his balcony that night.  
  
  


"It shines so bright, he forgets that light begets darkness."


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kairi, Sora, and the trio's families; it takes a lot of behind-the-scene preparation at the homestead before a hero can go out adventuring.

When Sora got home from school the next day, he found his mother and uncle sitting at the kitchen table.

"Hey, Uncle Kenji!" He slung his bag onto the floor. "What're you doing here?"

"Go put that up," his mother scolded, at the same time his uncle replied, "We're discussing the business."

"Oh," Sora said.

He dragged his bag to his room, left it on the floor there, and then returned to the kitchen. Sora pulled a chair away from the table and dutifully sat down.

"You don't need to stay," his mother said. "Why don't you go...go train, instead."

Sora blinked. "Really?"

When she nodded, he grinned and pushed away from the table. "Okay. See you later!"

Kenji watched him leave, turned around in his chair. "Train?"

"He wants to be an athlete," Shina said, because her son had told her that no one could know about the keyblades to protect the worlds' borders. "If he's going to succeed, he needs to be able to train."

"You sure about this, Shina?" Kenji frowned.

"I married into the family," she replied. "It was never mine to keep."

He scowled and swung back to face her. "I don't care what Mom says. You've taken care of the business for years and that old hag hasn't done anything but complain."

She frowned. "Don't call her that."

"She's my mother, I'll call her what she deserves."

Shina pressed a hand to her forehead. "Don't say it around Sora. It's a bad influence."

"Not saying it won't make it not true."

"I can't change her," Shina said. "But I can raise my son right."

"...Ow, big sis."

"Sister-in-law," she said, and gave him a look. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know," Kenji replied with a half-grin. Then he looked down at the accounting books spread over the kitchen table, and it faded.

"I mean it," he said. "I'll take over if you want Sora to have a different life, but there's always going to be a place for you in the business." He picked up a ledger. "I don't want to do this. And half the crew would leave without you, anyway."

"They have families to feed, too," she said.

"And there are other people to hire them," he retorted. "You know how people get about mainlanders here. If you don't want to be owner any more, I still want you to be manager."

"...Do you not want it?" Shina asked, watching him.

Kenji shrugged without looking up. "I never thought about it," he replied. "Naoki was the first son, so it was always his responsibility." He looked over. "But hey. You've done everything for a long time, without any of us helping you. You gotta look out for Sora first." Kenji tapped the ledger against the table. "Let him know I expect him to pitch in during the off-season, though. And I want tickets to his championship games."

Shina smiled faintly. "I will. ...Thank you, Kenji."

"No prob." He tapped the ledger one last time, and then set it down and looked at her straight. "Does he really want to be an athlete?"

Shina startled, and stared at him. "What do you mean?"

Kenji half-smiled again. "There's been rumors," he explained. "I've tried to keep them from the hag, but her gossip network's better than mine."

"Ah," Shina murmured.

"You know, if he winds up marrying Chihoko's son, there's still adoption," Kenji suggested. "There'll still be heirs. I know you don't like that sort of thing, but I'm just saying, you don't have to lose the business over it."

Shina laughed once, shortly, and then pressed a hand against her mouth. Kenji frowned. "What?"

"Rumors get less true the farther they travel from the source," she replied.

"Wait, so he's not engaged to that kid?"

"No, I suppose he is," Shina muttered, pressing a hand to her forehead again. "Or they think they are." She dragged the hand through her hair, pushing it behind her ear. "I don't want to fight with Chihoko over which grandchild has to take over what business, and I don't want Sora to be distracted by that when he needs to be--training."

"Makes sense...." He nodded, but still looked confused. "So what makes the rumor not true?"

"...He wants to marry the mayor's daughter, too."

Kenji raised an eyebrow. "Sora didn't strike me as the indecisive type."

"That's the problem," she replied. "He wants to marry both of them."

"...Uh...."

"I _know_." Shina pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes, and then rested her head in her palms.

Kenji was silent for several moments. Finally he propped his elbows on the table and folded his hands. "So, those two are engaged, and they want Sora on the side?"

Shina looked up, surprised. "No. Well, yes, they're engaged too, or--something like that, but, no. The three of them want to marry each other."

"It's not that those two had a prior betrothal?"

"Not as far as I know. This all started when they came back."

Kenji rested his chin on his hands. "I just don't really see Chihoko letting her son be a side dish in another marriage."

Shina thought of Riku. "I don't think it's going to be her decision much longer," she replied.

He glanced up at her, eyebrow raised. "Really?"

She didn't want to encourage his fondness for gossip. "If you met the boy, you'd understand."

"Mm. I've heard stories," Kenji replied, which meant he would drop it. "...Sora knows you can't do that, right? I mean, maybe on some other island, but I don't know which."

"Yes," she answered, and had to leave it at that. Protect the world's borders.

"...Messy," Kenji said, and Shina nodded tiredly.

They were quiet for a while. Then Kenji straightened up and started gathering the ledgers.

"Doesn't change anything," he said. "Will you stay on as manager?"

"...Yes, if you'll have me," Shina replied. "Thank you."

He nodded. "And Sora better help me out."

"I'll tell him."

"Okay." Kenji stood and tucked the stack of ledgers under his arm. Shina pushed away from the table as well. "I'll go over these and then come back and discuss things with you," he said. "For now, just keep doing what you've been doing."

"All right." She walked him to the door. "Thank you again, Kenji."

"Shina," he said, turning around on the doorstep. "We're family. Maybe not the greatest, but you're not alone. You or Sora. I don't care what the hag thinks, you're my big sis."

She had to smile. "Thanks. ...I'll introduce you to the crew when you come back."

"Sounds good." He hefted the ledgers. "When I see you then, I'll be a responsible adult."

"Well." She smiled a little wider. "You'll be trying, at least."

Kenji pressed a hand over his chest and walked backward down the path to the road. "Right in the heart, Shina, right in the heart."

"Goodbye," she answered, waving.   
  
  
Sora came home before sunset that evening, which was unusual. Maybe he had just been training. Shina made him help her with supper.

"He left already?" Sora asked.

"Mmhmm."

"Aw."

"He'll be coming back soon," she replied. "You can see him then."

She'd always thought Kenji would be a bad influence on Sora--especially after she saw how close their son and Riku were getting--but she supposed that didn't matter anymore. The king of the universe had been a worse one, and there wasn't anything she could have done about that because she hadn't known he existed until too late.

Maybe if she'd chased Riku off with a harpoon instead of a mop that time, things would be different.

 _That wouldn't have changed anything_ , Shina immediately thought, shaking her head, because she remembered being a teenager. But it was still a tempting thought.

"Okay," Sora said cheerfully. "Is it more business stuff?"

"Yes, but don't worry about it," she replied, and set the fish in the oven to bake. "Go do your homework. I don't want people thinking I pulled you out because you were failing."

"All right, all right..." Sora wiped his hands on the towel and headed out. He stopped at the hall.

"Are you sure, Mom?" he asked. "I need to start learning this stuff, right?"

Shina busied herself with washing the utensils. "You already know how to fish," she said. "We'll see about the management part later. I'm not retiring any time soon."

"Okay." He turned and went into his room.

If she were a better person, Shina thought, she would have asked if he wanted to stay in school to be closer to Kairi and Riku. With Kenji taking over, it wasn't necessary for him to leave, though the extra hands would always be a help.

But if he started working full-time, he would be with her until Kairi graduated and the three of them began traveling and fighting for the king again.

She would accept his leaving; she knew he had other people in different worlds that he needed to protect. But he was their son. She wanted him with her, even just a little longer.

***

  
Yasuhiro walked into the kitchen to find his wife agonizing over the invitations for their first summer party.

It was one of the things that had changed while their son was gone; she'd used to work in the study. But then, he hadn't used to raise edible plants in the garden or to cook as much; she'd begun sitting at the counter, facing the large windows overlooking the garden, soon after he'd begun spending more time in them.

"Who's left?" he asked, washing his hands in the sink.

"A few more," Chihoko answered. "Jecht."

"Ah," he murmured, shutting off the water.

"That drunken wretch," she muttered, pushing away the invitation destined for him.

"We could forget to invite him," Yasuhiro suggested, like usual. "Mail still gets lost on the way to the mainland sometimes. Half the time he doesn't come, anyway."

She didn't even quirk a smile at the thought, like she used to. "I hand-delivered Hiromasu's invitation. He begged off for himself and Kairi. If Tidus isn't there, Riku will just disappear without an excuse and it'll create even more talk."

He sat down on the opposite side of the counter. "At least Tidus isn't a bad kid."

"No," Chihoko agreed. "But I can't invite him and not his father until he's of age."

She glared at Jecht's invitation for a long moment, but finally pulled it back toward her.

"Maybe this will keep Riku in the house for a few hours," she said, uncapping the pen. "Did you know he's started sneaking out at night?"

Yasuhiro had known he'd been doing it almost every night since he'd returned; he hadn't told her because she didn't need any more stress. "I'm not surprised," he replied after a moment, because it was the most honest response he could give. "How did you find out?"

"This is pointless," Chihoko said quietly instead of answering, and he was startled by the depth of exhaustion in her voice. "He's tearing everything I rebuilt to pieces."

Yasuhiro went around the counter and began massaging her neck. Chihoko continued to write as he did. "He's not doing it on purpose. He's just a child," Yasuhiro said, willing her to believe what he couldn't quite convince himself of. "They don't know how to look at the future."

"He isn't stupid," she replied. "He must know."

He had no answer to give her. Yasuhiro continued to rub her neck, until she was done with all but the last invitation and they heard Riku come through the front door.

***

  
Kairi slipped in through the back door and made her way tiredly up to her room. Her arms and feet still ached from training with Sora and Riku, and she felt a little off from using magic--not light-headed, exactly, but different. She still couldn't cast elemental spells, and she was starting to think it was impossible--Riku couldn't, either, and he was more similar to her than Sora. She needed to ask one of the other princesses if they could, whenever she saw them again.

And it also didn't help that Sora was kind of a bad teacher. _And then you just cast it_ were not useful instructions.

Her hand still itched from the keyblade; she'd been rubbing her thumb over her palm the whole way back. Riku had looked over more than once and finally asked what was up.

When she'd asked where he'd gotten it, he'd said it found him in Castle Oblivion. At her expression, he'd floundered for a little bit and then said keyblades just... _did_ that with him, and he'd show her next time.

There were lots of things Riku and Sora couldn't fully explain yet, to her and even sometimes to each other. Kairi wasn't too worried about it; she knew it would just take time. Eventually she would either understand or they would find the words, whichever came first.

She continued to rub her palm thoughtfully as she pushed her bedroom door open with a hip.

What's wrong? Naminé asked.

 _The more I use the keyblade, the more I feel like I've seen it before_ , Kairi explained. _Someone else was holding it, and then I saw her fight. And she talked to me. But I can't remember her face, or what she said_.

Naminé didn't answer. Kairi went over to the mirror and shoved her bangs, still slightly damp with sweat, away from her face. It was better than looking over at her desk, which had her bag--full of untouched homework--sitting on it.

It was _so_ close to summer vacation--maybe she could skip just **one** day. She wanted to sleep and then go see Sora and Riku again, or maybe Selphie; they hadn't spent much time together lately outside of school. One day wouldn't tank her grades.

...But then her father would say Sora and Riku were bad influences and banish them from the house or ground her or something. Kairi exhaled, rubbing her palm again.

I can't reach them, Naminé said, making her blink.

_Huh?_

Your memories, Naminé explained. I can't touch them when they're still locked to you. I'm sorry, she said regretfully. You aren't Sora.

Kairi stared at the mirror for another moment, and then closed her eyes and nodded.

 _It's okay. I made mys_ elf _forget_ , she thought, and opened her eyes again. _Now I have to make myself remember_.

They aren't as shadowed any more, Naminé said encouragingly. Keep trying.

Kairi smiled. _Thanks_.

She sensed Naminé's hesitation before her next words.

Why are you afraid to talk to them about your heart? she asked. You know they love you.

Kairi tucked her hair behind her ear. _I_....

She pressed a hand over her chest. _I didn't ask to be like this. So I know it's not like I chose to make the darkness come here, even if it was because of this...of me. I don't think I hurt Sora, but Riku_....

She tightened her hand. _I didn't want it to happen, but if it helped the darkness pull at him somehow_ \--

Riku is who he is, Naminé said. Who you are doesn't change him. The darkness would have come to him either way.

Naminé had access to all her memories as a child here; Kairi had seen no reason to keep them from her. She knew all the questions Riku had asked her about her own world.

He is who he is, Naminé repeated. He was always meant to be a keybearer.

Kairi wasn't sure if that meant he was always meant to be connected to the dark, but she didn't think Naminé was certain either. There was still so much to learn about what they were.

 _...Yes_ , she finally agreed. _If it happened, it wasn't on purpose, so I won't blame myself for it_. She looked at the mirror, expression hard. _But now I know. So if anything like that happens again, if the darkness tries to break into here again_ \--and she thought of the storm over the play island, and the feeling of using magic for real against an enemy-- _then I have to be strong so I can destroy it before it can hurt anybody else. I have to keep working until I'm strong enough to stop it_.

Naminé was quiet for a long moment.

... The worlds aren't meant to be all light and no darkness, she said carefully. They're meant to have both. Even a place as bright as this needs shadows.

Kairi nodded, not entirely sure what Naminé was trying to say. _Yes?_

It's dangerous, Naminé explained, to want to destroy the darkness.

 _I meant whatever tries to attack us_ , Kairi started to reply; but then she stopped and wondered whether that was really what she had meant after all. Sometimes she still dreamed of Riku, almost invisible, trying to hold back Ansem.

Sometimes shadows made her turn sharply, because they looked like dark corridors being opened into the islands.

It's dangerous, Naminé said. Especially because you used to be afraid of it.

Kairi sat down quietly at her desk, and stared at her hand.   
  
  
She was distant and distracted during dinner.

She almost went to find Riku, an hour after she was supposed to already be asleep; but she stopped halfway out the window, one foot braced on the ledge and the other dangling, and after almost a quarter of an hour climbed back inside.

*

  
 _The woman crouched down in front of her and touched the pendant of her necklace. She watched, lips slightly parted, as it grew warm and glowed briefly. It'd never done that before._

_"There, I've put a magic spell on you to protect you. Some day your own light will lead you out of the darkness and into the light."_

Kairi woke up and stared wide-eyed at her ceiling.

That wasn't right. Was it? Wasn't it something about the spell leading her to someone who would protect her? No, she swore the woman had said something about her own light--

\--who **was** she? She'd saved her life, told her this, if she had a keyblade she must have been protecting Radiant Garden from those things--

\--there had been something before the Heartless. She remembered; they hadn't looked the same. The Heartless had come soon after, but before that there were the--

\--had she even learned the name? Had they even had one?

Kairi squeezed her eyes tight, and gulped in air until her heart was racing, until she felt like it would burst, like it would collapse the way she wanted these walls she'd built around her mind to do so she could finally stop running, stop living with all her earliest memories shadowed and lost to her.

 _Out of the darkness and into the light_.

Kairi flung back her blanket, summoned her keyblade, and stormed down the stairs to the library, where the codex lay waiting.  
  
  


In your hand, take this key.


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kairi, Sora, Riku; the gravitas of being what they all are is starting to become clear. Everything else, however, is still as translucent as mud.

Kairi's father was startled awake when he heard someone clomping on the stairs. His first thought was that Destiny Islands had a very poor cat burglar; his second thought was Kairi's safety; and his third was that he needed to go stop whoever this was before they took anything important.

He wasn't a fisherman, so he didn't have a harpoon. His brother had taken the family's heirloom sword, along with the printing business; and being mayor wasn't exactly a life-threatening position, at least not from the human element of the islands. So on his way downstairs, Hiromasu stopped at the supply closet and grabbed a hammer.

In the back of his mind, as he crept down the stairs, he supposed he should look into getting something better. A bat, at least. Maybe a piece of wood with a nail in it.

At the foot of the stairs, he saw one of the library doors was flung open. Hiromasu gritted his teeth, hefted the hammer, took a deep breath, and stormed up to the room.

" **What do you think you're** \--Kairi?"

His daughter was standing at the desk in her nightgown, that horrible keyblade in her hand. She was staring down at the encyclopedia.

She'd called it something else. It was a strange word, one he hadn't heard before.

"Kairi!" he said again, and this time she moved.

"Dad?" she mumbled, looking over at him. She shook her head, and her next words were clearer. "Sorry. Did I wake you?"

He didn't want to hear her ask such mundane questions when still holding that-- _that_. "What are you--do you know what time it is?!"

Kairi shook her head again. "Uh-uh."

He didn't either. "It's late! You should be in bed! What on earth are you doing down here?"

"I had to read it," she replied. She looked over at the encyclopedia again. "I'm tired of running."

He frowned. "What?"

Kairi smiled faintly. "It's weird. Most of it's not even scary. Like he said, it's just records of places and things."

"Like who said?"

"At least what I could read," she murmured, as if she hadn't heard him. Kairi flipped several of the pages rapidly, moving to the back of the book. "My keyblade can't translate this."

She paused, and then rested a hand on her chest. "Or maybe it's just my heart that can't read it."

"Read _what?_ "

"The language of the dark," she replied.

That was enough. Hiromasu strode up and gripped her shoulders firmly, turning her away from the encyclopedia. "Kairi," he said, hoping he sounded calmer than he felt. "It's late. Put--put that away. You need to go back to bed."

She glanced down at the keyblade, and nodded once. It disappeared. Hiromasu shuddered, but didn't pull his hands away. This was his daughter, regardless of whatever madness had associated itself with her.

"Okay," she said, and he finally took a step back. "Sorry for waking you."

"It's fine," he replied, and shooed her up the stairs. Hiromasu followed, and didn't let himself glance back.  
  
  
Later, when he was sure that she was safe in her room--and hopefully asleep--Hiromasu quietly made his way back down to the library.

He stared down at the encyclopedia, trying to recall what Kairi had called it. Why hadn't he paid more attention? He'd seen how she'd acted odd after saying it--why hadn't he noted it? What a rotten scholar he made.

He picked up the encyclopedia, feeling the heft of it, the fabric of the cloth cover. It was worn in places, from being in the sand before its discovery and handled so much--by himself and whoever else had read it, written it--and there was still dust that he hadn't been able to clean away, from all those years behind the bookshelf.

He'd felt awful when it disappeared; all those mysteries still locked up inside, untranslated, unknown. Finding it again had been wonderful. How could Kairi have done that, taking it away? She'd known how much he'd wanted to unravel its secrets.

\-- _No_ , he reminded himself, shaking his head. She said she'd been afraid of it as a little girl. She still didn't like it. He knew that. If it upset her that much, if it was making her want to leave their house, then he would get rid of it.

He ran a hand down the cover one last time, resisted the urge to open it and look at the carefully sketched illustrations, and tucked it under his arm. Then he went to the kitchen and found the matches.

There was no fireplace in the house, but there was a pit in the land outside the fence, for the annual roast and clambake that the mayor had to host on the summer solstice. He hadn't begun laying up kindling yet, so he tore branches off nearby trees and bushes until there was enough for a decent fire. When it was ready, he ripped pages out of the book to feed it.

Then he hesitated.

He'd avoided looking at the pages as he threw them in--there was no point, he was going to get rid of them, so why torment himself with the sight--but all the same, he'd avoided the last half of the encyclopedia as he tore.

Finally, Hiromasu let the book fall open in his hands. The weight was off now, especially since portions of the front were missing; it settled unevenly on his arm as he flipped toward the back.

Kairi had said she couldn't read these chapters. But she--she'd been able to read the rest, with that keyblade of hers. It _wasn't_ untranslated anymore; it wasn't unknown. He could--

 _ **No**_ , Hiromasu told himself forcefully, closing his eyes. He hadn't been able to understand it because it came from another world. He wasn't going to use another foreign object to try and grasp it; he wanted nothing to do with that hideous thing.

When he opened his eyes, about to slam the book shut, he saw that he'd already flipped to the right page. There was the tabula rasa, painstakingly drawn and copied.

How many hours had he spent tearing his hair out over that page, trying to eke out even the slightest similarity to any of the islands' known dialects? More than he could recall.

It couldn't do any harm to keep this one page. Just for the memories. Just to remind him not to care too much for books over his family. He would put it away, where Kairi wouldn't see it; she wouldn't have to know it was there. It would harm no one.

He carefully creased the page, and then slowly ripped it along the line, trying to preserve as much as possible. Once it was free, he smoothed out the dents in the paper on the cover, then set it on the dry grass and hastily rekindled the fire with more pages. Once that was roaring well enough again, he threw in the binding.

By the time Hiromasu finished burning the encyclopedia, it was nearly dawn. He left the embers to die out at the bottom of the pit and returned inside, to try and fall asleep before the light arrived.

***

  
Kairi wasn't in school that day.

Riku could tell she was over the ocean, on the mainland. But neither Sora nor Selphie or the rest of their friends knew what was going on.

He and Sora hung around her home after school, waiting, until eventually it got dark and they had to leave.

Riku gave the firepit a long look as they passed it.

But he shoved his hand in his pocket and decided not to mention it to Sora. There was no reason to worry him about traces of shadows, not until Kairi was back; he didn't want to have to talk Sora out of rowing to the mainland just to check on her. That was not going to win her father over. And the shadows obviously weren't bad enough that Sora was picking up on them.

Then again, Riku couldn't recall a time that Sora ever _had_ noticed shadows, at least before they coalesced into living darkness. But by that point, they were nearly at Sora's house, and he couldn't figure out how to bring it up without mentioning what he'd felt.

*

  
A few hours later, the last ferry between Destiny Islands and the mainland had arrived without Kairi on it, and Riku finally told Sora about the shadows.

He got punched in the arm for his trouble.

"Why didn't you say anything while we were there?!" Sora demanded, before jumping out his window.

Riku followed, landing nearby. "I thought she'd be back by now," he said. Sora shook his head once, and took off down the road to Kairi's place.   
  
  
"So...where?" Sora asked, standing at the edge of the firepit and peering inside. "Hey, this's been used."

Riku frowned and crouched at the lip. "You're right," he muttered, fishing through the ashes and charred remains of twigs. "What did he do?"

"Who?" Sora asked, as he jumped down into the pit and began digging deeper into the remnants. Riku bit down on the reflexive urge to make a short joke.

"Her dad."

Sora frowned and looked up at him. "Wait, are these those shadows around him?"

"Yeah," Riku replied, and then paused as he pulled out a burnt piece of paper.

"Are they the same ones you mentioned?" Sora asked. "From when he saw the keyblades?" He pried loose a chunk of thin wood and turned it over in his hands distractedly, and Riku set the paper on the ground. "Maybe we should've waited a little longer to tell them," Sora frowned.

"We didn't have much of a choice," Riku said, and held out a hand. "Let me see."

Sora tossed him the wood. "So, is it the same ones?"

"No," Riku replied, staring down at the remains of the codex's cover. "These are worse."  
  
  
He and Sora sifted through the pit for almost an hour, but only found a few more pages that'd survived. Riku tore off the worst of the charred bits and stuck them in his pocket.

"We oughta wait," Sora said, staring at the fence.

"The last ferry's already come," Riku pointed out. "She's not going to be back until tomorrow."

"Nnngh," Sora muttered, scratching his head. "Still!"

"Don't you have to be up early to help your mom?" Riku added.

Sora glared at the house beyond the fence for another moment, and then sighed. "Yeah, you're right."

*

  
Riku was getting ready to jump over the wall around his parents' house when he sensed Kairi finally crossing the ocean. He immediately turned around and went after Sora.

By the time they finished arguing about whether to wait by Kairi's or go to the docks and follow her and her dad back from there--an argument mainly sparked by Riku's lack of faith in Sora's ability to successfully track people without being caught, which Sora had of course been forced to adamantly counter, with examples of successfully sneaking after Pete (Riku had interjected that hiding from Pete was roughly as difficult as hiding behind a mountain, which further derailed the matter)--Kairi's boat was nearly back.

Sora vehemently insisted on going to the dock and following them back to prove he could, and Riku finally gave in. They only almost got caught once; Riku refused to admit he was faintly impressed and instead took it as vindication.

The person who'd sailed her and her dad back after ferry hours was a mainlander who was sleeping the night in their house. Lights went on and off in several rooms before Kairi's bedroom light finally turned on. Riku watched the curtains for five minutes to make sure her dad wasn't in there talking to her--he really didn't want another repeat of last month, when he was stuck sitting on the roof for an hour waiting for the man to leave so he could get his pants--before nudging Sora in the shoulder and climbing up to her window.

Riku rapped on the glass while Sora hung from the ledge below. Kairi didn't even bother to glance out her curtain before opening the window.

"Hi," she smiled. Once Riku was inside, Sora flipped up onto the space he'd left and then clambered in himself. "Were you guys just sitting out there?"

"We followed you from the docks!" Sora replied, shoving himself up to sit on the sill. Riku leaned against the wall.

"I _thought_ I saw someone in the bushes...."

"Ha," Riku said deliberately. Sora made a face at him. He ignored it and asked, "What happened?"

"Dad wanted to go visit his family," she said. "Did I miss anything?"

"It was school," he replied, with a shrug. "I think the teachers gave stuff to Selphie to give to you." He glanced at Sora. Sora looked back at him, and then caught on. As he shoved off of the sill, Riku looked at Kairi and asked, "Have you been in the backyard?"

She shook her head. "No, we just got back."

Kairi paused, and then frowned at them. "What's wrong?"

Riku pulled the burnt papers out of his pocket. He flipped through them until he found a picture of boats sailing in an underground cavern, lit by lanterns with legs. The bottom was charred away, but at least some remained.

He held it out to her. "This was your favorite, wasn't it?"

Kairi took the scrap and stared at it, confused. "This is from...what happened?"

"I think your dad burned it," Riku said. "The firepit's full of ashes, and these." He indicated the rest of the scraps.

"Dad would never burn a book," Kairi said automatically, staring at the picture. A moment later, she sat down heavily on her bed. Riku hooked a thumb in his pocket and set the rest of the pages on her desk. Sora toed the carpet.

"There's more shadows around there, and in here," he added. "What happened?"

"I used the keyblade to read it," Kairi explained, still looking at the page in her hands. "I knew he was upset, but I didn't think...." Her fingers tightened.

"You read the codex?" Sora asked, surprised.

"I was tired of running," Kairi replied.

"...I don't think you were running," Sora said. "You just weren't ready yet."

"They felt the same to me," she muttered.

Riku sat down next to her. "I warned you," he reminded, as Sora was settling on her other side. "It's been getting worse since we told the truth."

Kairi winced and closed her eyes.

Sora tilted his head and started to say something, but then Kairi pressed a hand to her chest, and tilted her head down so they couldn't see her face. Riku frowned.

Sora touched her shoulder. "Kairi? What's wrong?"

She was silent for a long time.

Then she swallowed and said, "Long ago, people lived in peace, bathed in the warmth of light. Everyone loved the light. Then people began to fight over it." Her hand dropped to her lap, and she folded them. "They wanted to keep it for themselves. And darkness was born in their hearts."

Riku's eyes narrowed slightly. She went on. "The darkness spread, swallowing the light and many people's hearts. It covered everything, and the world disappeared."

She fell silent again. They waited.

Riku finally tilted his head; but before he could ask who it was, she spoke again.

"That wasn't nice, Naminé," Kairi said quietly. She unfolded her hands.

Riku brushed her bangs aside. "...That sounds familiar."

"Yeah," Sora agreed. "That's...nnng." He scowled, and then brightened. "Right! 'But small fragments of light survived, in the hearts of children. With these fragments of light, children rebuilt the lost world. It's the world we live in now.' That's your grandma's story, right?"

Kairi nodded. "It keeps going, about the scattered worlds and the true light behind the door to innermost darkness."

"Yeah," Sora agreed. "'Even in the deepest darkness, there will always be a light to guide you.'"

"Uh-huh," Kairi replied. She let out a breath, and then leaned back, bracing herself on her hands. Sora pulled his hand back. "It seems silly now," she added quietly; but she still didn't quite look at Riku.

"I've heard that last part," Riku said. Kairi blinked, and finally glanced over at him. "Naminé told me it, in Castle Oblivion," he explained.

"Oh," Kairi said, before shifting and reaching up to toy with her pendant.

"Is that what you've been worrying about?" Riku added.

"Kind of," she mumbled.

"...Okay, but what's that got to do with how the islands look from gummispace?" he asked, because that had been a weird question and now it seemed like she was willing to talk.

"A lot of light attracts darkness," Kairi said, stretching her legs out and staring at them.

 _Naminé and Sora said it was a glowing ball of light_ , Riku thought, and _Ah_.

Why hadn't he figured that out sooner? He was the one who'd told her the darkness was pushing at the Door more now.

He'd just gone and ground it in about her father.

"No," Riku said, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Darkness is drawn to light."

"Darkness is created by it," she replied, and pushed the scrap of burnt paper to the floor.

Riku floundered, trying to figure out what to say.

He couldn't imagine a world made of light. He couldn't imagine **wanting** one. If there had ever been a world like that, it would be a horrible thing, like the burning, blinding core within the door to darkness.

_The true light behind the door to innermost darkness._

_Their lights are too bright. It is only natural that they cast shadows on your heart_.

"It's not that simple," he said, because he didn't want to believe Ansem.

Kairi fidgeted, and then crossed her legs. "But wanting it to be is dangerous, huh?"

"Probably," he replied automatically, thinking of the last couple years, and then looked over. "Why?"

"No reason," Kairi said with a smile, which wasn't an answer, but at least she was looking at him again. She laid her head against his shoulder a moment later, and Riku let the matter drop and tightened his arm.

Sora, on the other hand, was Sora. "I don't really get what you're talking about," he said, half-turning on the bed so he was looking straight at her, "but was something bothering you?"

"Yeah," Kairi said, turning her head to face him, with a faintly sheepish smile. "And I was worrying about it and keeping it to myself instead of telling you two."

Sora nodded seriously. "But you know you don't have to, right?" he asked. "We're back. We're not going anywhere. So you don't have to keep stuff to yourself anymore."

Kairi nodded. "Yeah." She reached out and took his hand.

"Smooth line," Riku said, a few moments later.

"Hey," Sora retorted.

Riku looked over at him with an eyebrow raised. "What? It was a compliment. You don't like compliments?"

"Not ones from you," Sora replied.

"Right," Riku said, interrupting before he could continue. "No more compliments. Only insults from now on."

"That's what half your 'compliments' _are_ ," Sora sulked, and Kairi giggled.

Riku smiled to himself.   
  
  
Gradually they shifted further back on the bed until they were half in a heap against the wall; Riku's arm was draped over Kairi's shoulders and half-pinned on the other side by Sora's head. He was trying to decide whether or not Sora's hair was ticklish enough to be worth moving it.

Kairi had started yawning, and Riku was almost tempted to take the opening to convince the two of them to lie down; but her bed was narrow enough that he didn't think there was a way to do that without someone falling off. And even if that didn't kill the mood, it'd probably wake up her dad, who would proceed to try and kill _them_.

"...What do you want to do about your dad?" he asked.

Kairi tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with the hand not holding Sora's and stared at the ceiling. "...We almost never talk to the rest of his family," she said quietly. "It was really uncomfortable when we just showed up there today. After Mom died...."

Sora made a face in empathy. Riku, whose maternal grandfather had died before he was born and who couldn't recall his maternal grandmother or most of his paternal relatives since they were killed in the huge storm sixteen years ago, had never learned how to deal with extended family. He just stayed still.

She shifted, sitting up a little more. "How bad is it, exactly?"

Riku half-frowned, and then closed his eyes. He concentrated for several seconds; and then he was silent for about two minutes more, trying to put what he felt into words she would understand.

"It's not terrible," he finally said lamely, when she started fidgeting and Sora had poked him in the arm. "There's worse, even here on the islands. The...grief, those scars from losing your mom haven't changed much." He opened his eyes again. "But the jealousy's gotten worse since the last time, after we told them everything."

Kairi exhaled. "You had me worried!"

"Sorry," Riku said. "It's hard to translate."

Kairi nodded in understanding, and then yawned again.

"Why'd you want to read the codex right then?" Sora asked, shifting around and making his hair scratch Riku's arm more. Riku was starting to think he was doing on purpose, in revenge. A lousy revenge, but still.

"I finally remembered her," Kairi said. "Almost."

Sora sat up. Riku looked at her. "Remembered who?"

Kairi touched her pendant and then summoned her keyblade. "The woman I saw using this."

"Huh?"

"She came to Radiant Garden once, when those things that came before the Heartless were running around. She saved me from them," Kairi said. "She and...King Mickey," she continued, quieter, staring at her keyblade. "I was being chased, and I ran to her, and then he appeared. She put me up on a wall, and then ran back to help him fight. I...gave her some flowers as thanks, and she said she put a spell on me to protect me...." Kairi squeezed her eyes shut. "I remember _everything_ but her name. She told me, but it's the only thing that won't come back. She had really short hair and I remember thinking her clothes were funny because she only had a skirt on the sides, but her name...." Kairi shook her head. "It won't come back."

"Aqua," Sora said.

Kairi blinked. Then she opened her eyes wide.

" _Aqua_ ," she breathed. "That's it, she said she was Aqua." She turned to stare at him. "How did you--Sora?"

"Are you okay?" Riku asked.

"Huh?" Sora replied, and then touched his face. He pulled his hand back and stared at the tears on his fingers.

"What's wrong?" Kairi asked, leaning closer. Riku pulled his arm free and sat up.

"I don't know," Sora said, mystified. "I just...feel really happy."

He looked at his hand for another moment, then scrubbed at his eyes when the tears kept falling. Kairi and Riku watched him, and glanced at each other; but they didn't know what to say.

*

  
Riku and Sora left a while later, when it became clear Kairi was going to fall asleep whether she wanted to or not.

"Any better?" Riku asked, once they'd reached the point where their paths split.

"Yeah..." Sora mumbled, pressing a hand over his chest. "It still feels kind of happy, but sad, too...." He frowned. "But it's really faint."

"Faint?"

"If I think about it too much, it feels so lonely that it hurts," Sora said, looking up at him in confusion. "Even the happiness and sadness get submerged again."

Riku moved closer. "It's gotta be someone whose heart's connected to yours." He half reached out a hand. "You don't know who?"

Sora shook his head. His grip had slowly tightened enough that the knuckles were starting to go white.

"Ask Naminé about it, when they've got more sleep," Riku said, and poked him in the back of the hand. Sora loosened it. "Maybe it's a lost memory. You can't do anything to help until you know who you're looking for."

"...Okay," Sora said, and dropped his hand.

He shook his head hard a moment later, and finally turned away.

Sora started to wave over his shoulder as he began down the road to his house; but then he stopped.

He turned around a moment later. "Hey, Riku, wanna hang out at my house?"

"Sure," he replied, because it beat staying in his own. Riku considered tossing off a _Didn't know we were up to 'Your room or mine?' already_ to see if it would lighten things up; but Sora didn't look embarrassed. It was like he'd asked without even thinking, because he didn't want to be alone.

Or didn't want to feel lonely.

Riku walked over and slung an arm around Sora's shoulders. "Let's go."

Sora slid an arm around his waist and started walking.   
  
  
"Who is it?" Sora asked, when they'd passed the road to the beach and were nearly back to his mom's. He'd pressed his hand over his heart again. "I've gotta get back to them and help."

"We'll find out," Riku replied, tightening his arm, trying to pull the shadows away. "And we'll figure out a way to get there."

"We have to," Sora said.

Riku squeezed his shoulder. Sora nodded resolutely and let his hand fall.

 

So long as you have the makings, then through this simple act of taking, its wielder you shall one day be.


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku, his parents, and those who have to deal with him; a multifaceted object means different people will see different sides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not Now Bernard, a children's story that is somewhat altered herein, is property of David McKee. No profit is being made from this work.
> 
> 8.5, an in-between sorta-chapter to this work co-written with Edmondia Dantes, can be found [here](http://reimars.livejournal.com/43028.html).

Riku only drifted off after Sora had finally fell asleep for real; and he woke up soon after, when he heard Sora's mom moving around downstairs.

Riku yawned and stretched; and then when that didn't wake Sora up, he shoved him--a _little_ gently, because of everything that had happened last night--onto the floor.

Sora immediately rolled into a groggy crouch, eying the room. Riku propped himself up on an elbow. "Wakey-wakey."

"...You jerk," Sora finally determined, and flopped down to sit and stretch.

"Jerk _king_ ," Riku corrected.

"Yeah yeah."

"Your mom's up," Riku said, and shifted over to the windowsill. "I'll see you at school."

"'Kay," Sora replied with a yawn.

"You okay?" Riku asked.

Sora blinked. "Yeah," he answered, and smiled at him.

Riku looked at him for another moment, weighed the intense desire to hit Sora for making that I'm-a-liar happy face at him against being caught in here by Sora's mother again, and then swung out of the window and dropped to the ground.  
  
  
He returned to his parents' house just before it turned bright enough for the neighbors to see. Riku vaulted up to his balcony, lingered until enough time passed, and then changed and went out the front door. He was halfway down the road before he remembered that by bypassing the kitchen to dodge his parents, he'd forgotten to get breakfast. Or lunch.

Oh well. He'd steal something from Sora or coax something from Kairi if he got hungry.

***

  


Sora was late to school again; but Riku filled Kairi in on what happened after she'd conked out.

At least he and Roxas are speaking, Naminé offered, and Kairi had to agree. She wished it wasn't because of something like this, though.

The rain had fallen off over the last two days, so Kairi ordered the guys to have lunch outside. Then she dragged them behind the shed at the back of the school, since that seemed like the best place to do this. She waited until Sora wasn't eating before dumping the condoms and lube out of her bag.

"--You carried this to _school?!_ " Sora demanded, sounding somewhere between horrified and impressed.

"Obviously," Riku pointed out, and then picked up a box. "This is...a lot."

"I wasn't really sure what to get," Kairi explained. "I remember Selphie saying something about water bases and oil bases and latex, but I wasn't sure which one was good and which is bad, so I got both." She shrugged a shoulder. "And I didn't know what size to get for you, Sora."

"HA!" Riku cackled, and deservedly got an elbow in the gut from Sora.

"How much did all this cost?" he asked, after whacking him back on principle. "We should chip in."

"Uhh...I'm not sure, because I bought some other stuff too, to kind of hide it." She shifted, tucking her skirt around her legs. "I went to a place pretty far from my uncle's house, but I don't actually know where he shops."

Riku nodded. Sora poked tentatively at the pile and asked, "So how do we divide it up?"

"Just take what you want," Kairi answered. "I left some in my room already."

"Why didn't you mention it last night?" Riku asked, as Sora shifted suspiciously through the boxes.

"I forgot," she said sheepishly. "I was tired."

He laughed again, quieter.

A moment later, Riku picked up one of the smallest-sized boxes and tossed it to Sora. "Here, that's about right."

Sora looked at it, scowled, and then chucked the box back at him. "You _suck_."

"Yeah," Riku purred, with his best grin, "I do."

Sora stopped, and went red.

"Ooh," Kairi grinned, "so **that's** what you were doing in the cave."

Sora buried his head in a hand, and threw another box at Riku's face. He blocked it half-heartedly, too busy laughing.  
  
  
They finally got everything divvied up and shoved into their pockets and bags before the bell rang. Sora spent the rest of the day looking genuinely terrified of being searched for contraband, and Riku thought to himself it was a good thing none of their enemies were around to see a keyblade wielder laid low by two boxes of condoms and a container of lube. There'd be no coming back from that.

Of course, he kept pushing his hands into his pockets to make sure none of the stuff he was carrying got jostled enough to fall out; but that was just good sense.

***

  
Chihoko dusted her hands off quickly and surveyed the room. It was neat and clean, ready for the interview she had the next day with a mainland couple interested in a vacated summer home.

She paced another circuit anyway, double-checking the floor and furniture, before pausing in front of the bookcase. It wasn't as straight as it could be; there was a collection of children's books on the third-to-bottom shelf that threw off the proportions of the rest, with their inherited curios and ornately tooled tomes that she'd never had the time to read in the last two decades.

Her son had not been home last night.

She didn't know precisely when Riku returned--he moved so quietly now, it was impossible to hear him anymore unless he chose it--but it wasn't until after she and Yasuhiro had gone to bed. And she hadn't missed how he'd slipped out the door too quickly to be pulled into breakfast and too close to school-time to be worth the catching. She had little doubt he wouldn't come home tonight, either, except maybe to put in a cursory appearance for supper.

She should take those books off the shelf. There was no point to them anymore, was there? They should go back to the attic, where they belonged. Or else given away to....

She couldn't quite finish the thought. Chihoko no longer considered herself religious--the gods hadn't aided her family when they'd needed it most, and when her mother took matters into her own hands, they hadn't punished them for it, which suggested they were either paying less attention than the priestly family claimed or weren't there to begin with--but she had to acknowledge that she was, perhaps, still superstitious.

They'd packed the books up in the attic after Riku had haughtily proclaimed he was too old for them, and she'd realized he'd been carelessly giving some away to his friends. Yasuhiro had brought them down again when, seven months after his disappearance in the storm, she'd realized she was pregnant. And two months later, after the miscarriage, they simply...hadn't wanted to go near them. And there was work to be done--the work never ended, this task of housing the island--and so many doctors' appointments, on multiple islands, to try and determine what had gone wrong, both then and in the years before when she and Yasuhiro had been striving for more heirs; and then there had been plans to make, distant relatives to be considered for adoption, wills to be rearranged and rumors to counter, a grave marker to be carved. And then Riku had returned.

Perhaps, Chihoko thought, kneeling in front of the bookcase and idly touching the children's books, the gods _had_ been paying attention; they had simply been slow, and come for her and her family instead--

She pushed the thought away fiercely, and tipped one of the books out into her lap.

She recognized it as soon as she saw the cover. It had been a gift from Yasuhiro's parents. Chihoko hadn't liked it, had considered it a potential insult, a dig at her own family and how they presumed she would raise her and her husband's future children--but it had come from his parents, and after they died in that other storm there was no way to be rid of it.

She shifted to a more comfortable crouch and flipped the book open. Such dull illustrations and garish colors; and then there was the story.

_"There's a monster in the garden and it's going to eat me," said Maru._

_"Not now, Maru," said his mother._

_Maru went into the garden. "Hello, monster," he said to the monster._

_The monster ate him up, every bit. Then the monster went indoors._

_"ROAR," went the monster behind Maru's mother._

_"Not now, Maru," said Maru's mother._

Chihoko flipped ahead, wondering why she was even reading this in the first place. Surely **this** could be packed up into the attic again; she should fetch a box and put them all away now, while she was thinking about it.

_The monster ate the dinner. Then it read one of Maru's comics. And broke one of his toys._

_"Go to bed. I've taken up your milk," called Maru's mother._

_The monster went upstairs. It got into bed, looking confused._

"'But I'm a monster,'" Riku said cheerfully behind her.

Chihoko jolted onto her feet, dropping the book and smashing an arm into the shelves. A vase teetered and fell; Riku darted forward and caught it--too fast, much too fast, she'd barely seen him move and then he was standing there, vase in hand.

"Sorry," Riku said, quietly.

Chihoko swallowed, clutching her arm to her side.

"...You startled me," she managed to say, a moment later.

"Sorry," he said again, looking uncomfortable. "...I remembered that book. I wasn't trying to...."

He looked down at his hands, and then set the vase back on the shelf.

A shudder ran down Chihoko's spine.

What was this man standing in front of her? He moved too fast, pulled a blade from thin air, had done something terrible to their world--what was he? How could she have let him into their house?

Her son had been strange, had been difficult and temperamental, but he had been _**human**_.

Who was this creature that had claimed his name and taken his face?

"I'm sorry," Riku said, again. He looked more unsettled with each moment; she had to wonder how she appeared.

Chihoko turned to the side and straightened the vase. "That's--all right. How was school?"

"It was fine."

"Are you staying for supper?"

Riku didn't answer immediately, and after a moment she realized what she'd asked. He was her son, hers and Yasuhiro's--of course he should be in their home for supper. He was their _heir_. This was his place, inside their walls.

Her hands were shaking. Chihoko pulled them away from the vase and folded her arms tightly.

"Sure," Riku said.

"You should go change," she informed him, turning away to look out the window at the garden. "So your uniform doesn't wrinkle."

"Okay."

She didn't hear him leave.

Chihoko didn't look over her shoulder. Instead, she left the room, passing through the kitchen and out into the garden. Yasuhiro was harvesting some of the papayas. She rested a hand on his shoulder.

Yasuhiro glanced over with a smile.

"Riku's staying for supper," Chihoko said. "What should we have?"

"Hm," he replied. "Well, these should finally be ripe enough for the two of you," he said teasingly, setting another papaya into the basket. "And there's some fish and greens in the fridge. How does that sound?"

"Good."

Yasuhiro turned around and looked at her intently. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Chihoko said carefully. "Everything is fine."

***

  
Riku was even later to school than Sora the next day, though to be fair that was because Sora actually got into the building before the bell rang for once. He and Kairi sat on a desk next to the windows, while Selphie and Tidus sat on another nearby in a valiant and useless effort to make it look like they were doing something other than waiting like creepers for their boyfriend to appear on the path. Wakka was absent with an excuse; the priestly family was conducting rituals to try and maintain the weather in its current relatively normal pattern.

Riku glanced up at the window as he trudged up the pathway; but by then class had started and the teacher had made the four of them take their seats.

During lunch he assured them that he was fine, everything was fine, sheesh, hadn't they done anything without him last night? To which the response was an annoyed look from Sora and a stare from Kairi that was eerily reminiscent of Naminé's way of silently calling him out.

"Everything's fine, sheeze," Riku said again. "My parents just wanted me to help them clean up some stuff. There're people coming over today to rent a place."

"Which one?" Kairi asked.

He shrugged. "It's on the water."

"That really narrows it down," Kairi deadpanned, and Sora sniggered.

Riku shrugged again, and ignored the fact that he could sense Masao watching them from the other side of the classroom. As long at Sora and Kairi hadn't noticed, it wasn't worth it.

"So you're all right?" Sora prodded.

Riku raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure _you_ should be asking _me_ that?"

"Yeah?"

Riku poked him in the chest over his heart. Sora swatted at him, glanced down, blinked and then caught on. "Oh yeah."

Riku wondered briefly if Sora's smile yesterday morning had been real and not a lie, or if he was just an idiot who'd been hit in the head eight too many times.

Sora rubbed his chest for a moment, and then shook his head. "That's different!"

"How?"

"'Cause."

"That's not really an answer," Kairi pointed out helpfully.

"'Cause I _said so_."

"Well, that's a **Riku** answer...."

"Hey," Riku interjected. Kairi grinned and sipped her coconut water.

"It just is!" Sora decided on.

"That doesn't work, either," Riku told him.

Sora scowled. "If you were the one who'd said it, you'd say it did."

"That's because _I_ can pull it off, unlike you."

"Whatever," Sora replied. "It's still different."

"You have yet to show me proof."

"You sound like the Queen of Hearts."

" _ **Hey**_ ," Riku retorted, and Kairi snorted the coconut water up her nose at how indignant he sounded, which set Sora off laughing. Riku gave them both exasperated looks as Kairi pressed her handkerchief to her face and kicked Sora under the desks, and noted that Masao was finally paying attention to his own group again.

***

  
An hour to sunset, Masao's mother pushed open the screen door to their porch. "What are you doing out here?"

"Nothing," he said, kicking a foot against the porch to make the swing bench rock.

"Uh-huh," she replied, leaning against the doorframe. "Do you want to do all the dishes tonight, or do you want to tell me?"

"How're things going with that girl's family?" he asked instead.

"Solada?" his mother replied, pushing away from the door and stepping onto the porch. "They're going well. Is that what you're worried about?" She ruffled his hair with a faint smile. "Don't fret. If your brother's flirting with all the neighbors' daughters is any clue, he's probably going to like girls. We can draw a marriage contract up between the two of them; the age difference won't be too much."

"Nn."

"So what is it _really?_ " she asked.

"Nothing."

"So it's a love affair, then."

"Mom!"

"I was young once too, you know," she said with a quirked smile. "I know what 'nothing' means."

"It's _not that!_ "

"...ah," she said, quietly. "What did Riku do?"

Masao jolted and stared at her, eyes wide.

"Honestly," his mother said. "I was young once, too."

Masao stared at his hands, and clenched the fabric of his pants in his fists. "...I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mmhmm," she replied. ". . . Come inside a moment."

Masao followed her reluctantly into the kitchen, and then frowned in confusion when his mother shut the windows and drew the curtains. "Shut the door," she told him.

He did, asking, "What's going on?"

His mother sat down at the kitchen table. "You know I was a year behind Chihoko--Riku's mother--in school."

"Okay?" he replied, pulling out another chair and sitting down across from her. He still wasn't sure what was going on, but this seemed serious. He glanced at the drawn curtains again.

"I remember one week, about a month before school was out for summer--it was graduation year for her--she was gone for a couple days." His mother started tapping a finger against the table absently. "And then we started hearing all sorts of rumors from the mainland: like that her father had gambled away all the land their family owned."

"What?!"

"It happened," she said evenly. "Too many mainlanders saw and heard for them to cover it up. And then there were more rumors, that Chihoko went over to the mainland and won them back."

"Her?" Masao asked in disbelief. He tried to picture Riku's mother, who always seemed so cool and aloof and...above any kind of nonsense or fun, gambling. He couldn't.

"She was one of the best math students in the school," his mother said. "I remember her parents bought a set of textbooks from the mainland and had a private tutor from there come once a week, because she'd gone through everything they taught at school. I believed it," she said with a shrug. "The deeds came back _some_ how. Why not because of clever Chihoko?"

She said it like an old nickname, slightly bitter; and she shook her head a moment later. "Don't ever mention that," she ordered. "That was the nice one, but she still hated it."

"The nice one?"

"The mean one was 'cheating Chihoko,'" his mother said wryly. "She didn't, of course. Or if she did it was so well no one could catch her. Really, I shouldn't have to say it, but don't ever repeat any of this to anyone, except your brother if your father and I die before he comes of age."

Masao made the sign of the evil eye automatically to ward that future off, and said, "Why not? It doesn't sound like a big deal."

"That was the explanation," his mother said evenly. Everything she'd been saying had come out deliberately, but now it slowed more, like she was choosing her words. "Not long after she came back, her father drowned. He was apparently drunk, and walked off a pier."

Masao frowned. "Apparently?"

"Well, he _was_ drunk, most likely. He started going at it after the rest of their children died, same as the gambling. But why he would be on the pier...."

Masao stared at her, trying to understand what she was saying.

"He wasn't an active man," his mother said. "Especially after the storm, and the deaths. It was Chihoko's mother who did much of the overseeing of the properties. He certainly wasn't one to take walks to the pier at night."

"...You mean, someone...?"

"Well," his mother said. "Chihoko's mother never commented on the rumors one way or another. I suppose she thought it would be 'uncouth.'" She tapped the table one last time, and then folded her hands. "But she never said anything. Not even explaining where she was that night."

"...Wait." Masao shook his head. "You mean--"

"It's all rumors, of course," his mother interrupted, standing up from the table. "And rumors can't be proved. I don't think even Chihoko knows what really happened." She started opening the curtains again. "She isn't a bad person. And she and Yasuhiro got engaged right before school ended, and he'd heard the same thing, and he definitely isn't bad. So maybe it _is_ all just rumors that some mainlander made up because he was mad about losing all that land."

"But...."

"The point is, Chihoko got the deeds back," his mother said, looking at him straight on. "Destiny Islands still belongs to islanders because of what she did. And if her mother happened to do something more to ensure it stayed that way...."

She looked out the window.

"It's good to have a family that will protect this land," she said, quietly. "That's the way it has to be. We may have the power broken up now, between the priests and the landlords and the mayor, but it really comes down to that. Someone has to protect this island from outside threats." She rolled her shoulders back, and looked over at him. "And that's why you should stay away from Riku."

Masao blinked at her.

"I didn't want to say anything, but I suppose.... We can't stop working with them," she explained. "This contract with Solada's family should bring us enough money that we can buy our land, and then we'll be a little safer--but we can't stop working with them. Where else would we go?" she asked with a wry smile.

"...What does that have to do with Riku?"

His mother pushed her hair back from her forehead, still looking at him. "It's good to have a family that will do anything to protect this island. But he won't. So you should stay away from him." She glanced out the window. "Chihoko isn't a fool. She'll either fix him or find someone else who'll do what has to be done. Riku's a rotten branch, and those don't have a place in a fence."

Masao's shoulders tensed; but he didn't know how to argue with that.

_"Who do your parents pay rent to?"_

When he didn't say anything, his mother sighed quietly. Then she started opening the windows again.

"So that's that," she said.

"...Okay."

His mother glanced over. "Don't worry about things so much," she said. "You're too young for that. Like I said, eventually we'll be able to buy this house and plot, and then we'll be better off. I'm not saying you have to ignore him," she explained, "but don't get too close."

"Like that's possible with Sora and Kairi there," he muttered.

"Well," his mother said, as a breeze drifted into the kitchen again, "maybe that's for the best. Better for the disappearing children to stick together than to infect others."

***

  
That night, Riku sat up in his attic long after the rest of the island was asleep, flipping through one of the books he'd helped his father pack up, the one his mother had been skimming. He was no longer reading it; he was just turning the pages, and thinking.

_"I heard once, there was a kid who left for good."_

_"Is there some reason you're interested in the outside world?"_

_"Yeah. I wanna be strong one day. Like that kid who left. He went to the outside world... I bet he's really strong now._

_"I know it's out there, somewhere... the strength I need."_

_"Strength for what, huh?"_

Riku put the book back very carefully, and returned to his room.  
  
  
He couldn't remember everything he and the stranger had said. He was pulling more back from his memories, sifting through and separating it from the whispers behind the Door; but it was slow going. What he and that guy had talked about had gotten mixed up with the whispers' promises, tangled and intertwined until Riku had finally thought in exasperation that it was supposed to be _Sora_ who had memory problems, not him.

But he remembered that not long after that guy had come and left, a strange woman had shown up, with short hair and clothes that looked funny because she only had a skirt on the sides.

Sora had been there that time, so maybe that was why he remembered her name. He hadn't been there when the other guy had spoken to him.

Except Aqua hadn't said who she was. She'd just laughed and asked their names and then said some weird things to Sora. So maybe it was just someone who looked similar to the woman Kairi remembered.

 _Yeah, right_ , Riku replied before he even finished the thought. _Sure it was just a coincidence. Those happen to us all the time_.

He draped his arms over the balcony railing. Sora had **seen** the other guy, but he hadn't talked to him; he'd been busy running back to his dad's boat. Riku remembered that--Sora had teased him so much about losing the race that he'd nearly pushed him off the boat on the trip home. And he remembered Sora mentioning a few weeks later how weird it was to keep running into other people on the play island--what did they eat? Were they living in the shack?

Riku had looked at him like he was dumb and said no, they obviously weren't living in the shack, had Sora seen a sleeping bag or clothes in there? But he hadn't told Sora about the guy admitting he came from an outside world; he'd kept the secret.

If he reminded Sora about him, described him, would Sora know his name? Did that heart tied to Sora's know him, too? There had been so many worlds back then; was there a chance they were connected?

Then he remembered the look on Sora's face as he tried to stop crying and couldn't, and the way the shadows around him that night had been aching with a hurt that wasn't his own. He shouldn't ask. He shouldn't do that to him.

Plus, if he asked, he'd have to explain.

_"You've gotta keep this a secret, okay? Otherwise, all the magic will wear off."_

Riku lifted his hand and stared at it, feeling the itch of Way to the Dawn beneath his palm. It couldn't be that simple; it couldn't just **disappear** because he told Sora and Kairi about a keyblade wielder he met once when he was a kid. That was stupid. He didn't know much about the keyblades, hadn't had time to ask Mickey all his questions, but he knew it couldn't be as clear-cut as that.

But if it was. . . .

If he lost his keyblade, what else did he have to offer them but darkness?

Riku dropped his hand back to the railing and stared out at the ocean past the walls around his parents' house.

There had to be another way to find the answers, one that didn't hurt Sora and didn't require dark corridors or leaving the world open to the threats a gummi route created. He just had to think of it.  
  
  
Not long after, while the sickle moon was still faintly glinting on the water, Riku wondered, _So who was that kid that left?_  
  
  


"Strength for what, huh?"  
"To protect the things that matter. You know, like my friends."


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Destiny Trio; those dark secrets beneath the Islands' light just keep coming.

Riku ate breakfast with his parents the next morning, so he met up with Kairi on the way to school instead of waiting down the bend from her house like usual.

"Hey," she said with a smile, swinging her bag at her side.

"Hey," Riku replied, falling into step beside her. "Can I come over today?"

"Of course," Kairi said, raising an eyebrow. "Why're you asking?"

"I want to look up something in the library," Riku answered. "Is your dad going to kick me out?"

"Oh," she replied. "No. I mean, he can't, it's the island's library. You should be fine." She tilted her head to look at him. "What're you looking for?"

"I wanted to go through some of the histories," Riku replied, trying not to sound evasive. "I wanted to look up something my parents mentioned."

Kairi continued to give him a curious look, and Riku figured he should have invented a better story last night. But he didn't want to lie, not outright. So he'd just...hoped that it wouldn't come up.

Which had been a pretty moronic plan. Great, he was channeling Sora.

"Wait up!"

Riku and Kairi turned around, and watched Sora struggle through the rest of the bushes to reach them.

"Don't you ever take the path?" Kairi called. "Your uniform's gonna get torn up."

"Takes too long," Sora replied, falling into step beside them.

"Why don't you jump off the boat and swim back when you start to run late?" Riku asked. "Then you might be on time."

Sora eyed him, trying to figure out if he was serious. Kairi snorted.

"Hey," someone called from ahead. "Nice timing."

"Hey, Tidus!" Sora greeted. "What's up?"

Tidus waited until they'd caught up to him, and then started walking alongside Riku. "Can you ask your dad to come over this afternoon? We've finally got the money together, so we want him to start planning out the addition as soon as possible."

"Sure," Riku agreed, not knowing what he was talking about.

"What're you building?" Sora asked curiously, folding his arms behind his head.

"The downstairs bed and bath for Mom," Tidus replied.

"Why?"

Tidus looked at him strangely, and then glanced at Kairi. "You didn't mention it?"

She didn't reply.

Tidus shrugged. "Mom's legs got injured in that big storm a couple years ago. The doctors said she's never gonna be able to get up the stairs anymore, so she needs a room on the ground floor. That's why Dad's been on the mainland for so long," he explained. "He's been teaching off-season so we could get it built."

Sora's arms dropped to his sides. "...Oh."

"Whatever," Tidus muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Like it's really hard for him to spend all his time being praised by his fans."

Riku looked over his shoulder at Kairi; but she stared straight ahead.

"I'll tell Dad as soon as I get home," Riku said a moment later.

Tidus grinned. "Thanks a lot," he replied. "This is really gonna help."

Riku made a wordless noise, and Kairi tucked her hair behind her ear.   
  
  
"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked a few minutes later, when Tidus had run ahead to catch up to Selphie.

"I didn't think it . . . you needed to know," she replied.

"That's not for you to decide," Riku said. "What else have you been hiding?"

"Don't say it like that," Sora chided, and then looked at her. "But...we've been lied to a lot. By people that meant well sometimes, I guess, but still...." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I want to know the truth."

"...Sorry," Kairi said, quietly. "I thought I was protecting you."

Riku exhaled.

"Would you want us to do that for you?" he asked.

"No," Kairi said decisively. "I don't need to be protected any more."

"Okay, then."

She nodded.

Sora fidgeted with his bag, and then slung it over his shoulder. Kairi twisted the handle of hers; Riku slid a hand into his pocket, and looked at Sora.

"Who meant well by lying?" he asked.

"The king and you," Sora said, low.

Riku pulled his hand free--but before he could reply, the school bell rang, and they had to run for the gates.   
  
  
Riku didn't make it to Kairi's house that afternoon, because he went with his father to Tidus's house to look at the grounds and draw up a preliminary blueprint for the addition. He didn't speak much with Tidus's mother, since she remained sitting in the living room with a blanket over her legs. Tidus took charge of the plan-making; Jecht was still out of town.

But he went over after dinner.

It was kind of nice of him, in a way; at least no one had to deal with the ensuing fallout on an empty stomach.

Kind of borked his plans to go over to Sora's after that and talk about what he'd said, though, so that became a conversation for another day.

***

  
"Hey," Riku called, from outside her window.

Kairi, who was getting inured to her boyfriends' habit of showing up on the roof instead of the porch, pushed away from her desk and said "Hey."

"I'm sorry," Riku continued, climbing in through the window. "Sora was right."

Kairi half-smiled. "So were you, you know."

Riku made a face and leaned against the desk. "I could have phrased it better."

She shrugged a shoulder and interlaced her fingers. ". . . It just bugs me, that I'm not up to you guys' level yet. I thought...." She glanced out the window, though the ocean--and therefore the play island--wasn't visible in this direction. "...I thought I was at least doing something."

Riku slumped further against the desk and slid his hand into his pocket. "We've got two years training on you," he reminded. "And more teachers."

"It's still frustrating."

"...I know," Riku agreed, and avoided looking at the hand he used to use to summon dark corridors.

"You wanted into the library?" Kairi asked, a couple moments later.

"Yeah," Riku agreed. "It probably won't take long."

"Okay." Kairi left her math homework on the desk and stood.

She showed him where the histories and genealogy tables were, and then went back upstairs to grab her homework. Kairi figured that finishing it in the library would add some extra respectability to Riku's presence, so her dad hopefully wouldn't skulk around the hall once he found out he was there, waiting for an excuse to throw him out.

Riku was buried in a set of books, flipping through some and double-checking in others, so Kairi set up her homework on the coffee table and settled down on the couch.

Then she stared at the equations for a few minutes, realized that homework was incredibly boring in comparison to training, wondered--not for the first time--how the guys were surviving their return to and resumption of island life as well as they were, and then went to the kitchen to make some sweet tea. Maybe she could bribe her dad into staying in his office; and at the least, it'd wake her up enough to finish up the assignment.

She was still waiting for the kettle to boil when she heard the thump from the library. Kairi glanced over her shoulder, wondering if Riku had dropped a book. She'd have to blackmail him and claim she'd tell Sora he wasn't as graceful as they thought if he didn't give her...hm, maybe a set amount of kisses. Twenty?

 _Seems kinda low_ , Kairi thought; and then she felt a chill run down her spine.

Darkness was here.

Kairi just barely managed to keep from summoning her keyblade. She twisted toward the kitchen door, and then turned back to the stove to shut off the heat.

" **What the hell are you doing**?!" she heard her father yell, and Kairi abandoned the kitchen and ran for the library.

She stopped short at the doorway, still fighting the urge to call her keyblade. She could see shadows creeping up from the corners of the room, crawling along the floor and building as they passed under furniture, accruing, multiplying. She didn't want to set foot in there; she didn't want to let them touch her.

"What happened?!" Kairi demanded, because Riku would never do this without a good reason.

Her father was standing almost toe-to-toe with Riku, glaring him...not down, not with Riku's height, but glaring. He was cradling a book; Riku had a crumpled piece of paper clenched his fist and a blank expression that left Kairi's chest cold.

She thought of other times Riku had been frustrated, how the shadows seemed to drip from his fingers; how Sora always edged up closer to him those times, responding unconsciously to a call she didn't hear.

How he'd told her _it's getting worse_ , the darkness in her father's heart.

 _A shield_ , she thought; she needed to pull up a shield, needed to wrap it around her father and block the pull on him before this got any worse. She'd practiced with Riku, studied the way he grabbed darkness out of thin air and worked until she could grasp the light and turn it to her purpose. She had to protect her father.

Then Kairi realized that summoning a shield would be the second worst thing she could do in this situation, short of calling her keyblade. It would freak out her father, who hated all this magic; it would hurt Riku, emotionally if not physically; and it would do no good.

What would she be shielding? She couldn't separate the strands of her father's anger from Riku's; she had no heart for darkness. She didn't know how to defend like this, against unintentional poison instead of a deliberate attack.

"Do you have _**no**_ respect for these islands!?" her father snarled. "Do you understand what these histories represent?!"

Riku didn't speak.

Kairi glanced at his face again, and stepped into the room. She stretched a hand out to her father. "Dad--"

"How _**dare**_ you!"

"Dad!" Kairi pressed a hand against his arm, and looked back at Riku. "What happened?" she asked again. "What did you find?"

He shook his head once, curt, and the darkness drifted up further from the corners. Kairi tensed her hand.

Her father tightened his grip on the book, and then snorted derisively.

"But why am I surprised?" he spit out, and his tone had shifted from loud to something cold and bitter. Kairi pulled her hand away and stared at him in shock. "Why would I ever be surprised at what a boy like you would do? Something was wrong with you since the day you were born."

" **Dad**!"

Hiromasu continued. "Why would someone who consorts with witches to keep their 'friends' locked up and strips away memories and who disappears just when the worst storm in decades hits this--"

" _Stop hurting them!_ " Kairi yelled. She shoved herself in front of Riku. " **Stop** it!!"

Hiromasu blinked at her in astonishment, and then glared at Riku over her shoulder. "Get out of my house."

When Riku turned aside, Kairi swiveled around and caught him by the arm before he could disappear. She brushed his bangs away from his eyes, and then hopped up long enough to brush a quick kiss on his temple.

Riku tolerated her and Sora pushing his bangs from his eyes--a style they knew he wore to distinguish the present from those long months he'd spent looking out from Ansem's body--like he would no one else. Even if they couldn't read each others' hearts, she trusted that he knew what she was saying.

Riku nodded once, barely, and then pulled away and brushed past her. He was gone before Hiromasu could turn to look at him.

When the door--front or back, she wasn't sure--clicked shut, Kairi looked at her father. He slumped down onto the sofa.

"How could you say that?" she asked quietly. "What got into you?"

She knew the answer, but still. It was one thing to know, to have seen it in action in a lesser form, but this....

"It's only a book," she said gently.

Her father looked up sharply. "This is my _life's work_ ," he snapped. "I won't have it ruined by a boy like that."

"Dad--"

He shook his head violently. "You don't understand. I--I didn't want to bring it up, but that boy--that family...."

Hiromasu set the book down on his lap. "You probably never heard, but his grandmother--"

"If this is about those stupid rumors, they're just **rumors** ," Kairi insisted, and that wasn't a lie exactly, because Riku didn't know what the truth was either.

Her father blinked at her in surprise.

Kairi crouched down in front of him. "Dad," she said carefully, trying pull light into the room without being too obvious and having no idea whether it was working or not. "Think. This isn't like you. At all. You don't hurt people like that."

Her father looked down for a long, long time, staring at his hands, silent.

Then he tightened them around the book. "Go to your room."

Kairi stood slowly, and left without a word.

In her room, she started to summon her keyblade, stopped to determine whether she could cast Light without ripping a hole through the floor and if it would even work like that, and then clenched her fists and _willed_ the shadows to leave her home.

She had to hope that would work, at least until she was able to talk to the queen.

 _I don't hate you_ , she thought. _You're a part of Riku. You're a part of Sora. But that doesn't mean I'll let you hurt anyone_.

Kairi concentrated with her whole heart for several more moments, and then scrambled out of her window and took off to find Riku.   
  
  
Sora had caught him first, which didn't surprise her. Kairi followed the echo of their keyblades until she came to the dormant volcano.

She had to cross over ropes of twisted white paper to climb up it. For the first time, it occurred to her that the area they'd been using as a training field was holy ground; she really hoped they weren't screwing up the islands by doing that. And that Wakka never found out. Ever.

But the rain hadn't started until a while after they'd begun practicing there....

But the weather was supposed to be the world protecting itself from the darkness outside. Right?

There was no way to know the answer to that, not from this side of the Door, so Kairi shook the thought aside and made her way to the lip of the volcano.

Sora and Riku were sparring inside, except 'sparring' was an understatement. Kairi sat on the lip of the volcano for a while, waiting, watching their attacks and looking for an opening break. She'd noticed something flung to the one side of the area that they weren't getting too near.

It was crumpled and dusty from the fighting and looked like he'd torn it, too, but she was pretty sure it was the page that would explain what had happened.

Kairi kept watching, and was glad to see that they were holding back--not as much as they did with her, which she was going to have to yell at them for another day--but still. The volcano wasn't likely to implode.

Considering who they'd been two years ago, that was a pretty significant improvement.

When Riku unleashed a barrage of dark firagas that had Sora dodging and running alongside the edge of the pit, Kairi raced across the interior wall and skidded down to where the paper lay. She snatched it up, and then tore halfway back up the inside, just before Sora let loose a Thundaga that crackled the air underneath her and backed Riku up and into a defensive stance.

Kairi carefully uncrumpled the page, trying not to tear it further as she did, and then smoothed it out on her thigh as she kept a wary eye on the magic below. She was _pretty_ sure she was in the clear, but that wasn't the same thing as certain.

It was just a piece of paper.

It wasn't a genealogical table, or a proper family history; it was an excerpt of significant events from a particular year. She flipped it to the other side, but it didn't say which year there, either--it must have been on the preceding page. Food rationing had occurred and consequently trade with other islands increased due to an early monsoon season; several people had gone missing in the worst of the storm; some lawsuits over property had occurred; new tariffs, from all the islands and the mainland, had been introduced into various treaties; and at the bottom, there was a brief, annotated list of the missing who had not been found and were presumed dead. Kairi stared at the page, trying to understand how this, of all things, had--

_Xehanort. Missing in storm; pres. deceased._

Kairi's hands tightened around the page until it shook.

She glanced down into the bottom of the volcano again, in time to see Sora force Riku back in the middle of a strike.

"C'mon, Riku!" Sora crowed, crouching in a defensive position with a sharp grin. "I thought you were stronger than that!"

Kairi watched the corner of Riku's mouth curl back in a darker version of a grin, looked at the piece of paper again, and came to a decision.

She folded it up, quickly, and shoved it into her skirt pocket before leaving the volcano. Sora and Riku would manage to work this out, or at least calm down a little, by fighting each other; she had faith that they could do it without hurting each other. They had all grown up from who they were.

And there was something more useful she could do than sit around watching them, or getting involved.   
  
  
Kairi snuck back into her home, made sure that her father had barricaded himself back into his office, and reentered the library.

There, she made quick work of the shelves, pulling off histories, family charts, directories, laws and code books--anything that was likely to mention of the storm. It didn't take long for her to amass an armful of books and pamphlets that were the most likely to have any mention of Xehanort.

She was the mayor's daughter; she knew the system of Destiny Islands' library.

Once she'd gathered everything, Kairi quietly made her way out of her house, dashing through the gate and taking off down the road, running as fast as she could and not paying attention to whether it was too fast for a normal teenage girl laden with books.

She arrived at Selphie's house before she knew it.   
  
  
"What the _heck_ ," Selphie asked, opening her window. Kairi shifted the precarious hold she'd had on the books in order to knock into something more reasonable, and said, "Can I come in?"

"Uh, yeah," Selphie agreed, pushing the sash up fully. "Why didn't you go to front door?"

 _I've been hanging around the guys too long_ , Kairi thought. "Sorry," she said. "I didn't want your parents to know I'm here. I...think I might be grounded."

"Wow," Selphie replied, taking several of the books off her hands and moving aside. "What'd you do _now?_ "

"Hey," Kairi said mildly, resting the remainder of the books on the sill and climbing over.

"It's a valid question," Selphie breezed. "I mean, this is the second time you've run away from home."

Kairi froze with one knee on the sill, and turned to stare down the road to her house.

That was right. If her dad went to her room and didn't find her there, that was what he was going to think of. How could she have forgotten?

...Because this was more important. Kairi glanced back at the books, and set her feet determinedly on Selphie's floor.

"I just need some time to go through these," she explained, pulling the books off the sill. "Where I can read in peace. It's not like I'm leaving again."

Selphie looked at her for a long time, and then at the books, and then sat down on her bed.

"I guess that's okay," she finally said. "I'll deter anyone who comes asking. **But** ," she added, as Kairi set the materials down on her desk chair. "You totally owe me for this."

"Okay," Kairi agreed, settling on the floor and opening the top one, a directory from the year of the storm. It ought to list all the agencies and households that had aided victims, which would let her narrow down what neighborhood Xehanort's family had lived in, which would let her know which section of the histories to look in for his past mentions and records.

Unless the whole family had died.

And it was Xehanort, so....

"Where did you guys really go?" Selphie asked quietly. "We all know you remember."

Kairi jolted and stared up at her. Selphie had leaned forward slightly, fingers curled around the edge of the mattress.

When she didn't answer at first, Selphie glanced out the window, and then sighed and looked back at her again.

"Why don't you trust us?" she asked. "We're your friends."

 _I don't want to tell you how you died_ , Kairi thought.

Maybe that was running away, too? Or was it normal?

Kairi bit her lip hard, and stared down at the pages of the book. There wasn't time for this; she had to find the answers before her dad noticed she was gone, before Riku got worse from the knowledge festering inside him.

She let a breath out through her teeth, and then decided.

Kairi shut the book, keeping a hand inside to mark where she'd been. "It's not that," she said. "We were told we had to protect the world borders, so we couldn't say anything. But from the way Sora and Riku talk, it seems like people living near the heart of the worlds already know," she added with a half-frown, "so maybe you'd find out anyway, or maybe you just have to know to be able to handle the Heartless."

". . . Uh-huh," Selphie said. "Run that by me one more time."

"Okay," Kairi said, and pulled her hand free and set the book aside. "Uh, I guess to start: there are these things called keyblades," she explained, and summoned hers.   
  
  
Less than three minutes later, the guys were at Selphie's window, weapons at the ready.

In hindsight, Kairi realized that yes, duh, of course pulling her keyblade alone when they couldn't see her was going to bring them running. It wouldn't be until much later that it would occur to her how hypersensitive to the potential of entering darkness Riku was at the time.

"...Is everything okay?" Sora asked, having stopped halfway in the midst of barreling straight through Selphie's window.

"What is going on," Selphie demanded.  
  
  
They had the story laid out for their parents, with all the necessary cuts and omissions and distractions; but they didn't have one for their friends yet. After ten minutes of explanation punctuated with frequent glances at each other to figure out what could be said, Selphie was exasperated, Sora looked ready to throw his hands in the air, Kairi was thinking that they should probably just go get Wakka and Tidus now and get it all over with, and Riku seemed to have relaxed. A little. Fractionally. But it was still something.

"You know," he said, during another lull, "I would've bet munny that it'd be Sora who spilled everything."

"Hey!"

"Well, I have to keep you guys on your toes," Kairi deadpanned, and Selphie stopped tapping her foot long enough to snicker.

"Maybe we should get Tidus and Wakka," she added. "You know, tell everyone at once."

"Wakka's still in quarantine, remember?" Selphie pointed out. "Because of the ritual purity."

"Oh, right," Kairi murmured. "So...tomorrow? Would we be able to see him in the afternoon?"

Selphie counted off on her fingers, and then nodded. "I think so." She raised an eyebrow. "But you're not getting away with not telling me tonight," she added. "I am _so_ not letting you go off and create a pretty story."

"It's not pretty," Riku said. "We should at least get Tidus."

Kairi and Sora looked at him. "...Are you sure?" Sora asked.

"He deserves to know," Riku said tersely.

"Some things we're not saying," Kairi replied, folding her arms on the keyblade resting in her lap. "To protect the world."

Riku looked at her for a long time. Kairi gazed back, head tilted slightly in a way that she knew was probably kind of obnoxious but if they could do it to make a point so could she.

Selphie glanced between the two of them for a moment, and then looked at Sora. "So, wanna go get Tidus?"

"Uh, yeah," he replied, pushing onto his feet. "I can do that."

After he'd swung out of the window and taken off down the road, Selphie shook her head. "Do you guys just hate doors now?"

"What'd you find?" Riku asked, ignoring the question and picking up a book. Selphie rolled her eyes.

Kairi shifted and tucked her feet under her. "Not much," she answered. "I haven't had enough time to look yet." She pushed her bangs away from her face, and added, quieter, "If you'd told me, I could have helped."

"I didn't know it was him," Riku replied. "I was just looking for rumors on that kid who left, a long time ago." The corner of his mouth curled down. "I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise."

"It is a little," Kairi muttered. "Destiny Islands is supposed to be...."

She didn't know how to finish. Safe? Full of light? Not a place a man--a monster--like that would come from?

Those weren't things to say to Riku.

"Even if you'd told me that, I could have helped," she said instead. "We could have...narrowed it down, or...something. Started with who you heard it from and gone from there, and...."

Would it have changed anything? It might at least have kept him from wrecking the book, and setting her dad off.

Kairi slumped her shoulders and leaned back against Selphie's desk, feeling tired. "I don't know," she said. "Something. Didn't we just agree that secrets were a bad idea?" she added with a half-grin, glancing over at him.

Riku was staring out the window, but he forced a chuckle at that. Kairi frowned and straightened up; but then she decided maybe it would be better to ask him what was wrong when they were alone.

After a few more beats of silence, Selphie cleared her throat.

"Fun as it is to listen to you guys talk in code," she said, and looked at Kairi, "maybe you should go home? Your dad really was upset last time. He almost abdicated the mayorhood."

Kairi blinked--no one had told her that before--and Riku quirked an eyebrow. "I thought we weren't getting out of here without telling you everything?" he pointed out.

Selphie tugged on the edge of her skirt.

"...This is really serious, isn't it?" she said, not looking up. "If you need time to figure out what you can tell us, then go ahead. We don't need to hear everything. _Yet_ ," Selphie added meaningfully, tilting her head up and eying them.

Kairi bit the inside of her lip, and then nodded and stood. "Thanks.

"What about Tidus?" she added, gathering up the books.

Selphie waved negligently. "I'll take care of it."

"Thank you," Kairi said again, and then suddenly darted forward and hugged her. Selphie started a little in surprise, but then patted her arm. "You're welcome."

"I'll go find them," Riku replied. He started to turn toward the window, and then Kairi shoved the load of books at him and linked an arm through his when he was distracted with trying to catch them.

Riku looked down at her through his bangs.

"I don't understand you," he muttered.

"I know," Kairi replied. "But that's not going to stop us."

He was silent for a moment, and then blew his bangs away from his eyes briefly. "How am I supposed to get out like this?" he asked, giving her arm a meaningful look.

"The _door_ ," Selphie replied, which was buried under Kairi's cheerful "You'll find a way!"

"Uh-huh," he said, and sized up the window. "...Ladies first."

Riku managed to exit via the window, without dropping any of the books or pulling her arm loose, because he was _Riku_. Inside the room, Selphie clapped in approval.

"Where do you want me to send Sora?" she asked a moment later, leaning out the window.

"My house," Kairi called over her shoulder. "Thanks again, Selphie. Let's all head over to Wakka's after school tomorrow, okay?"

"I'm holding you to that," Selphie nodded, and waved them off.  
  
  
When Sora arrived at Kairi's house, climbing in through her bedroom window because he'd picked up enough to figure Hiromasu would throw him out the gate if he tried the front door, she and Riku had spread out the books on the floor and were struggling to find any further mention of Xehanort. Her father still had the book the page was torn from, and so far checking the neighborhood directories hadn't revealed anything. And Riku wasn't helping matters.

"Do you remember _any_ thing about that rumor?" Kairi asked, flipping through the pages of another book in frustration. "Or you, Sora?"

"What rumor?" he replied, plopping down on the floor.

"The one about the kid who left for good," Riku said.

Sora scratched the back of his head. "I...kinda remember hearing about that? Not much, though. It's bad luck for sailors to discuss that stuff." He looked at Riku. "I think it was mostly from you and Tidus."

Kairi sighed.

"Nothing at all?" she asked.

Riku shook his head. "Just that I thought he must've had to be strong to get out."

"How'd you get that?" she wondered, coming to the last few pages of the directory.

Riku was silent.

After a few moments, Kairi glanced up. Sora, who'd been poking at a nearby stack of pamphlets and trying not to mess anything up until he was told what to do, looked over.

Kairi finished skimming the last page of the directory, and set the book down in the 'useless' pile.

"I can't tell you," Riku said quietly. "This one I really can't."

Neither Sora nor Kairi said anything.

"I wouldn't say that if it weren't important," Riku muttered.

Kairi and Sora glanced at each other.

"...Yeah, we know," Sora said a moment later.

"So what can you tell us?" Kairi asked, picking up the next book.

He shook his head, looking as frustrated as she felt. "I don't remember much about it. I think Tidus is the one who first told me, and I remember some adults discussing it at a party once--before you came here," he added to Kairi,"--but that's it."

"I guess we can ask Tidus tomorrow if he remembers anything," Kairi considered. "What book were you looking in that had this?" she added, holding up the torn, crinkled page. "That might help."

"The...." As he tried to recall which ones he'd pulled, there was a knock on her door.

Riku and Sora fled through the window, proving yet again that fathers were more terrifying than the entire Organization combined. Kairi, after a thought, left everything where it lay on the floor and went to open the door.

"Have you--" her father stopped whatever he was about to say and frowned at the mess on her floor. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Researching," Kairi said. "Can you help?"

"What?" He stepped into the room and immediately started tidying up, removing old, delicate books from the carpet and placing them on the relative safety of the desk. "What are you looking for?"

"Do you remember what I said about the man who threw me into this world?" Kairi asked.

Her father flinched.

She pulled her desk chair out and offered it to him. "His Heartless called himself Ansem," she went on. "He was the one who hurt Riku so badly. And I'm pretty sure he came from this man," Kairi said, and held out the torn page, pointing to Xehanort's name near the bottom.

Her father took the page gently, anger coloring his expression again as he saw the condition it was in; but Kairi watched him force it down. "Xehanort? He was...Ansem, too?"

"Yes," Kairi said, sitting on her bed. "We know Xehanort's Heartless called himself Ansem, and his Nobody was Xemnas." She half-smiled. "And it's a pretty strange name for two people to share."

"The Heartless are the black things, right?" her father mumbled, eying the page.

"Uh-huh, the ones that are just hearts. The Nobodies are rarer--they're what happens when really strong hearts turn into Heartless. They leave a piece of their body behind, in a different form."

Her father was silent for a long, long time.

"...That's very confusing, you know," he finally said.

She nodded. "We didn't name them. That was the real Ansem. I think, unless those were the fake reports that Xeh--"

Hiromasu held up a hand. "Let's...sort that out later. You think young Xehanort was the same person who Sora and--Riku were fighting all that time?"

"Yes," Kairi said, "in one way or another. It was always him behind the destruction." She shifted. "Do you know about him?"

"A bit," her father replied. "That he had a great deal of magical talent, and he disappeared without a trace."

"Where're the records on him?" Kairi asked. "I couldn't find anything in any of the neighborhood directories or the genealogy tables or anywhere."

"No," her father agreed. "The death record would be it. Any other information will be with the priestly family." He placed the page on the desk and began trying to smooth it out further. "Xehanort came from there."

". . . oh," Kairi said quietly.

***

  
"He came with me to Jecht's house to plan out the new addition," Riku's father told his wife that night.

"Tidus is a friend of his," Chihoko replied, flipping her pillow over to the cooler side.

"A friend ranking far below Sora and Kairi," Yasuhiro pointed out. "But he came anyway. There's hope yet."

"Mm," Chihoko murmured, settling back. "Maybe."

Yasuhiro squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. "We'll get through this marriage mess," he said. "If he loves them enough to go through with it despite everything, he'll care for the island where they live. There's hope yet."

Chihoko thought of the way her son always hedged around the issue of the storm the night he'd left, the way Sora or Kairi always seemed to answer questions of what exactly it meant for a storm to 'break' a world for him, the way he was silent on the issue to the point of saying much; and she suspected his new interest in their family's responsibilities had less to do with growing up and more to do with guilt.

But she didn't share those thoughts, and only nodded in response to Yasuhiro's smile and curled up against his side.

Some truths were best kept to oneself.

***

  
 _She couldn't find her grandmother._

_Kairi wandered through the castle's library, feeling more and more uncomfortable, but not wanting to call out for fear of being disruptive. They were guests here, of Ansem the Wise himself. After they'd received the invitation, her grandmother had mended up the tear on one of the flowers of her dress and washed it so it was snowy white, and had told Kairi that since she didn't know what they were being invited for, she needed to be on her very best behavior. Kairi was pretty sure that meant no yelling._

_She'd been in here earlier with her grandmother, before she'd had to leave; but now it was different. The bookshelves had moved around, and the more she wandered the harder it was to remember how she'd gotten there in the first place, and how to get back. She thought she'd found the way twice already, but each time there was a shelf in the way. Kairi could see the staircase way up above them, and thought she could probably climb up the shelves and walk over them to it if she really had to, but she was pretty sure that that was also bad behavior._

_"There you are," someone said behind her._

_Kairi turned around and found a man with a neckerchief grinning at her._

_She curtseyed, because even though he didn't look very nice, there were supposed to be a lot of scientists in the castle now, and scientists were strange. She'd seen one a couple times in the town square, dragging a boy along with him, and he was definitely strange. "Hi, I'm lost."_

_"No you're not," the man said, still smiling. "I found you, didn't I? Someone asked me to."_

_"Oh." Kairi straightened up. "My grandma?"_

_"No, but maybe he'll take you to her," the man replied. "Come on, let's get out of here."_

_"I'm Kairi," she said, taking his hand._

_"I'm Braig."_

_He walked fast, in long strides, and she had to trot to keep up. He also was walking down one of the aisles she'd already tried, but before Kairi could warn him that it was blocked, they'd turned the corner._

_She blinked when she saw that the way was wide open, and wondered if she'd been thinking about the wrong path. Maybe she should have pulled books out of the shelves to mark where she'd been._

_Two turns later, and she could see the staircase on their left. Kairi was_ certain _that it had been blocked off before. She bit her lip, and touched her pendant._

_She hadn't seen Aqua again, and now there were new monsters running around the town; they clawed at their door a lot, and her grandmother always made her hide in the closet when she poured boiling oil out the window on them, 'in case they learn to climb.' Kairi hoped she was okay._

_"Here you go!" Braig said, and Kairi was about to ask where they were when she realized he wasn't talking to her. There was another man sitting at a table, writing in a large black book. He didn't look familiar, but something about him made Kairi feel sick in her stomach. She tried to press a hand against it, but when she started to tug away Braig tightened his grip._

_The man made a few more marks, and then set down his pen. He blotted the paper for a couple seconds before shutting the book. He looked over at her with a smile. He had the same gold-colored eyes as Braig._

_"Hello, Kairi," he said._

_"...Hi," she replied, and yanked her hand again. The man waved absently, and Braig let go. Kairi stumbled forward, grabbing the end of the table to catch her balance._

_"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," the man said._

_"Thank you," she replied, even though she knew that wasn't the right response, but she didn't remember it right now. "Who are you? How do you know me? Where's my grandma?"_

_"We've known about you for a while," he said, standing up and starting to come around the desk toward her. "And I'm afraid your grandmother isn't here."_

_Kairi moved further along the table, backing away as he came closer. "Who are you?"_

_"That's not necessary," he replied, and held out a hand. "Now, let's see if this works...."_

She woke up gasping for air.

Kairi clenched her pendant tight enough that the links of the necklace cut her hand. She was sweating, and the stone quickly turned slippery. There was more after that, the vague recollections of clinging to that book and wandering for so long, thirsty and tired, of sand and the strange sound of waves when she finally collapsed on the other side, of watching the corridor close behind her, sealing her away from Radiant Garden for so many years, of the twisting wrongness in her chest that she'd tried to hide from here, clinging to Sora and turning away from Riku when the look in his eyes made that feeling worse, that feeling of having a part of herself cut away that had never faded until she'd returned to--until she'd gotten the--

Kairi shuddered, and then squeezed her eyes shut and thought _Don't run away. You need to remember_.

...I don't know if you need to, Naminé said softly. Not if it hurts too much.

Kairi could tell she was thinking of Riku.

 _I **want** to remember_, she replied, even though it was harder to say that when it was actually happening, and not just in theory.

Naminé didn't respond in words, but Kairi could feel the concern there, just a bit to the side of her heart.

 _Thank you_ , she murmured. _I'm okay. It was just a dream. Well, a memory. But it was the past_.

Memories are powerful, Naminé replied. Don't underestimate them.

Kairi loosened her grip on her pendant, and then let go and dried it off with the edge of her sheet.

 _'Out of the darkness and into the light,'_ she reminded herself.

 _I'll be okay_ , she thought. _We'll be okay_.

...All right, Naminé agreed.

Kairi finished drying the stone, and then rolled over and sat up. She left her room a moment later, and began walking slowly through the house.

The shadows were still there, harder to spot in the natural darkness of the night but curling at the edge of her senses all the same. Kairi pushed back at them, summoning handfuls of light and forcing them away.

Though that wasn't the right term. She couldn't do it the way she knew Riku could; he could actually send them away, send them elsewhere, make them leave a place. She couldn't make them depart; she could only burn them away.

Kairi recalled, vaguely, a time when they were kids and Wakka had been explaining possession to her; she hadn't heard of the term before. He'd said there were two ways of dealing with it: one, by talking with the spirit until it had worked through its tie to the earth and left; and the other, by eradicating it.

Wakka had called it murder, though. Something to do with a schism between how their island handled it and how the family members that had relocated to the mainland worked.

Kairi stood in the library, dissolving the shadows that lingered there, and thought _The light can be frightening_.

Mmhmm, Naminé agreed.

Kairi let her hand drop to the side, not sure any more if she'd done the right thing; but she didn't want to send the shadows out into any other home, and she wanted her father to rest easy.

 _This is really hard_ , she thought, rubbing the heel of her palm against her eye. _I wish I could talk to the queen, or the other princesses_.

I do too, Naminé replied. I still have questions.

 _Like what?_ Kairi asked curiously, as she made her way back to her bedroom.

...I don't understand how you do some of the things you do, Naminé replied. And DiZ hid all the information on the princesses from me.

Kairi shook her head, because she wasn't sure how to respond; Naminé hardly ever said anything about the time she'd lived in Twilight Town, and nothing about her time in Castle Oblivion.

Then she thought back to her dream, with Xehanort writing in the codex, and huffed. _If there was anything in there we could have used, I am going to be so annoyed_.

Naminé laughed faintly.   
  
  
In her room, Kairi flopped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She wanted a shower, but she knew that would wake her dad up. She'd been lucky he'd slept through her walkthrough.

 _I'll tell them tomorrow_ , she decided, _after we talk to Tidus and Wakka and I see if I can get more information about Xehanort from Wakka's family._

Kairi draped an arm over her eyes, and a few minutes later asked _Do you want to draw? I think I'm up for good_.

If you're sure, Naminé said; and when Kairi assented, she added Thank you.


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Destiny Trio & a whole slew of others; some more plans are made and the trio finally lets their friends into the loop re: the Heartless stuff.

Kairi's father dreamt of the codex that night, and the scent of ashes lingered after he woke.

He pulled the one page he'd salvaged out of its hiding place, and studied the illustration fruitlessly until he heard Kairi moving in the kitchen. Then he finally tore himself away and locked it up again before going down to help with breakfast.

Hiromasu saw his daughter off to school, kept an eye on the road to make sure Riku wasn't waiting there, and then returned to his room.

He didn't let himself look at where the page was hidden. Instead, he pulled out a fresh piece of paper and wrote a note to Riku's mother.  
  
  
She came over sooner than he expected--less than an hour after he'd slipped the note under her door. Hiromasu seated her in the library and went to the kitchen to get tea.

He tasted the pot left over, made a face, and started to dump it down the sink. Then he paused, considered his financial situation when-- _if_ , there was no need for excessive pessimism--if he lost the mayoralty in the next election.

He reheated the tea, and set a container of sugar on the tray and hoped it would help.

"I'm sorry," he said once he was back in the library, and set to arranging the tea things. "This wasn't...urgent. I should have been clearer."

"It's all right," Chihoko replied, putting aside the book she'd been looking at and taking up the teapot. Hiromasu sat down as she began to pour. "I was available."

"Ah," he said. "Good."

"What did you want to discuss?" Chihoko asked, picking up her cup.

He toyed with his as she took a sip of the tea, restrained a cough, and set it back down. He glanced over at the book--the one Riku had torn up, had destroyed in his _own house_ just last night, torn out the page and then ground it into the dirt or who knew what--

Hiromasu wrenched his gaze away, and then exhaled and leaned back into the sofa. "Do you still have the dreams?"

Chihoko's eyes widened slightly, but she folded her expression up soon after. Hiromasu watched as she started to pick up her cup again, and then stopped and dropped a spoonful of sugar into it. She took an experimental sip, frowned, and poured a bit more tea in.

"Yes," she said.

He sighed, and dragged a hand through his hair. "I was talking to Kairi last night," he explained, "and she mentioned the Heartless and the Nobodies again. I didn't put it together until then," he told her wryly. "When she mentioned how the Nobodies are the ones that--ahhhh," he broke off with a growl, and took an unhealthy gulp of tea and then had to try not to choke.

"The ones created by strong hearts when they turn into Heartless?" Chihoko finished, cutting to the quick. Hiromasu nodded, scowled, and then polished off the rest of his tea with a cough.

"I'm almost embarrassed for my profession," he admitted, pouring another cup, "if only it weren't...."

"It's unpleasant to think about," Chihoko said quietly. He snorted in agreement, and then shook his head.

"I don't think she meant to say that much," Hiromasu murmured. "I'm sure she would have caught it if . . . in other circumstances. The way they've been doing." He glanced out the window, at the trees, the road, the sunlight brightening everything.

Hiromasu pressed the heel of his hand against his temple, and then let it drop and shook his head again. "Perhaps one day they'll finally explain what happened to our world."

Chihoko sipped her tea.

"I doubt it too," he agreed, with a faint smile.

"What's Yasuhiro said about the dreams?" he added. "Are his any different?"

"He hasn't mentioned any."

"Still?" Hiromasu said with some surprise. "Haven't you asked?" When she shook her head briefly, he leaned forward. "But then, how can--"

"He's never mentioned any dreams like those," Chihoko said tersely, fingers tight around her cup. "If he wasn't there with me, I don't want to know."

Hiromasu sat back slowly. "...I'm sorry."

She shook her head briefly, and sipped the tea again, keeping the cup close to her lips, hiding her face as much as it could. He picked up his and toyed with it again, turning it in its saucer.

"Was there anything else?" Chihoko asked.

"Ah," he said. "Yes. I...." He set the cup down and restrained the urge to drag a hand through his hair, to keep fidgeting--or to look at the book again. He'd done enough to her.

Instead, he exhaled sharply. "I suppose if we're letting them go through with this marriage, we need to start discussing betrothal arrangements."

"Ah." Chihoko set her cup down. "Yes. I've been remiss in that."

"So have I," Hiromasu pointed out with a faint smile. "I was hoping it would...blow over, they'd change their minds...."

"They'd behave like normal teenagers and develop crushes on others?"

" _Yes_ ," he said, tired. "Yes. ...It would be easier if Shina weren't so--so comfortable with all this."

"Well," Chihoko replied, "she married for love."

"So did I."

"You went through the proper steps," she clarified, and he belatedly realized the implication. He and his wife hadn't simply left their parents' homes, like Shina and Naoki had done, before the marriage could even legally occur. That was, he admitted, something of a difference.

It didn't change how much he'd loved her; but they'd been reasonable about it.

"You and Yasuhiro love each other," he pointed out. "Perhaps...not to offend, but at the beginning--"

"I fell in love with him sooner than I expected," Chihoko agreed. She looked at her cup, and smiled faintly. "He made it easy."

Hiromasu settled back into the sofa with another sigh, and then thought to himself that he really needed to stop that. He was going to sound like a lovesick boy soon. Or a poet.

"Well, then," he muttered. "I suppose we have to sit down with her, work it all out.... There are _no_ precedents for this," he groused. "Unbelievable."

"There are no precedents for keybearers here, either," Chihoko said. "We'll have to make do."

That wasn't quite true, he thought, recalling what Kairi had said about Xehanort last night--that was a precedent of a Destiny Islands keybearer right there.

It occurred to Hiromasu that his problems could, perhaps, be worse.

"I can go by her home today," Chihoko said. "I still owe her a return gift for the trout. I'll discuss it then, and speak to you tonight."

He nodded. "I have some business to attend to, but I should be done by dinner. Will that work for you?" he asked. "I can go over to your home."

She shook her head. "That's fine. Yasuhiro is taking care of the addition to Jecht's house, with Riku's help, and there isn't anything else at the moment. I'll come by after dinner."

Hiromasu nodded again, and then stood when she did. "Thank you."

Chihoko smiled at him, briefly, an acknowledgement from one parent to another of a situation neither enjoyed being in. "We'll make do," she said again, and, "Thank you for the tea."

"Now that's just unnecessary flattery," Hiromasu replied, and Chihoko laughed as they walked to the front door.

***

Chihoko went home, tided up the papers and mailed out the contract to the mainlanders who had decided to rent a bungalow, and then had a small and early lunch. Then she purchased a box of candied fruit at the confectioner's, and made her way across the island to Shina's home.   
  
  
Shina seemed perturbed by her visit, but Chihoko was used to that reaction from islanders who owned their own land or rented from one of the other families. Two generations later, and they all still seemed to expect her to declare another buyout or land war at any moment.

"Thank you," Shina said, staring at the box of fruit she'd opened. "I.... Would you like some tea?"

"That would be wonderful," Chihoko said, even though she hated the harsh black tea that most fishing families drank. Even the stale, reheated green tea that Hiromasu had served was preferable. "Thank you."

Shina treated the fruit as if it were a snack she'd brought and not a gift, and arranged it on a plate on the table as the tea boiled. Chihoko gauged what she knew of the woman and concluded that it wasn't a deliberate insult, but a misunderstanding based on class.

Yasuhiro would know for certain. She usually sent him to deal with the low-rung renters; he was better at it. They were at ease with him.

"What do I owe this visit to?" Shina asked, pouring the tea.

"I spoke with Hiromasu this morning," Chihoko explained. "Since our children seem to be insistent, we should begin discussing betrothals."

"...Ah," Shina exhaled. "Right. Of course."

She didn't say anything after that, though. Chihoko nibbled on a candied tangerine slice to counter the taste of the tea, and wished she'd been colder and left Hiromasu to do this. It was his daughter, after all. Half this mess was because two male lines were going to be tied to the same woman. It was the least he could do.

But she liked his company. There were consequences to letting affection into strategic alliances.

"We'll have to get them all into one room, with us there," Chihoko continued. "When would that work for you?"

Shina glanced at the ledgers she'd been going through before Chihoko arrived, now piled on the seat of another chair. "In the evening, I suppose. I'll talk to Sora."

"All right," Chihoko agreed. "I know you have to set out to work earlier than either of us, so I don't want to keep you up too long."

"Mn," Shina said. "It's not a problem. I manage from the office mainly. And Kenji will be going out on the boat soon. My schedule will be more like yours then."

"Your brother-in-law?" Chihoko asked, brushing aside the unimportant biting comments. She'd been a bit too harsh herself; Shina could have those.

It was Shina's son, after all, who she was counting on to defend her own when they went off to fight. Strategic alliances.

"Yes," Shina played with her cup. "I returned control of the business to him, but he's kept me on as manager."

Chihoko took a long drink of tea to conceal her reaction, and considered the implications.

"Well," she said a moment later. "Still, we should meet at a time that's best for all of us. We have a lot to discuss, it seems."

"It seems," Shina echoed, brushing her hair over her shoulder. "When did Hiromasu want to meet?"

"Never, if he could get away with it." Chihoko smiled wryly in an effort to lift the mood. "He's not as happy about this as you, or I. I suppose it's harder if it's a daughter."

"'Happy'?" Shina replied, voice shaking faintly; and Chihoko realized abruptly that she and Hiromasu had judged her all wrong. "How can I be **happy** that my son is--is marrying a _boy_ , and a girl with no family, a girl from a whole other _world_ \--"

She broke off abruptly and pushed away from the table. She hovered at the counter for a moment, and then picked up the teapot and started rinsing it out.

"I see," Chihoko said, a moment later.

"Do you?" Shina replied. "Do you really?"

Chihoko raised an eyebrow since Shina still wasn't facing her, and then asked, "What do you mean?"

The other woman shook her head, slightly at first and then sharply.

"There's so much coldness in him," she said.

Shina shook the pot upside down, water dripping out, back still turned. "Loved children expect to be loved. They just assume it's there, like air." Chihoko watched her shake a little harder, and the way Shina still wouldn't face her as she continued: "So what did you do that made him think the only people who love him are my son and Kairi?"

Chihoko sipped her tea quietly.

Shina dropped the pot in the sink, where it clattered against the porcelain, and wrapped a hand around her arm. She stared down at the counter.

She wasn't one for confrontations, Chihoko knew. She didn't have the stomach for it. This had been building up, for quite some time.

She was glad she'd come today, instead of sending Hiromasu. Or Yasuhiro. He didn't need to hear this.

Chihoko ran out of tea, set the cup on the table, and started to rise. Shina turned around, hand still gripping her arm.

"Thank you for the fruit," she said.

"Thank you for the trout," Chihoko replied. "And the tea." She pushed in her chair. "I told Hiromasu I'd speak to him tonight; we should probably arrange to discuss all this over a dinner. Perhaps next week?"

"That's fine," Shina said hollowly.

"I'll have him send you the details," Chihoko said amiably, effectively cutting the other woman out of the process; but those without the stomach for confrontations shouldn't start them.

Those who lashed out at her family should be prepared to be struck back harder.

Shina nodded once, and started clearing the table. Chihoko bid her farewell and saw herself out.

*

  
She made her way home slowly, meandering, and when she noticed that she was at the docks she was more surprised than she felt she ought to be.

Chihoko passed the pier her father had died at without a glance and continued down the road.

This was all extremely foolish. What would people say if they saw her, the main landowner of Destiny Islands, wandering about as if she had no sense and no cares? And here, of all places? There was always a chance rumors would start up again. They had died down, yes, but not off, and they never would. It was such a small island, such an interconnected one, that these things never went away. They simply faded from current gossip, waiting to be called back at the worst possible time.

Why was she so angry?

Yes, Shina had insulted her, insulted her family. Chihoko had heard it before. She had heard worse. Her son had been a strange, strange boy, especially before his disappearance. There had been many whispers over that. She had been angry at those, too, and more so at the ones that sprang up after his return.

But this....

Chihoko turned abruptly down a pier and made her way along it. No one was around at the moment; the fishermen were all either done for the day, or still out on the ocean, depending on their methods. She stopped at the edge and thought of how tired she was.

She slipped off her shoes and sat down slowly, letting her feet dip into the water. Chihoko stared out at the horizon, at the sun burning and glittering on the water, and wondered if it was jealousy.

She had grown up knowing there was work to do here, days worth, weeks, months, a lifetime worth, and that if she did it right the work would continue beyond her life. She had never asked or expected more of Riku than what she herself had given: to protect their land, to defend it, to _stay_ , even if personal desires left him restless. It was a small island, but it was theirs. She had not asked so very much. She had only expected him to behave as family.

Family defended its own. It didn't harm its own, even if they were a liability. It didn't do things that broke worlds, it didn't _murder_ \--

Chihoko choked down a sob, and curled in on herself, clutching the fabric over her heart.

And now he wanted her to believe that he cared about other worlds, that he had to fight to defend them? What of their own? How could other worlds matter to him when their own hadn't?

If it had just been about Kairi, she would have accepted it. There were advantages to a marriage between her family and Hiromasu's. If it had been that he'd had to have a fishmonger's son, she could have gone on; she'd married a man from the same neighborhood, and together they had rebuilt all that her parents had nearly ruined. She would have relaxed her insistence for a better marriage over that. If he had to have both, she would have sorted _some_ thing out; as long as there was a girl, there wouldn't have to be adoption to ensure heirs.

But how could he stand inside the house he'd been born in, and _lie_ , and think her a fool?

How could he?   
  
  
She pieced herself back together soon after, grinding the heel of her hand against her eye and keeping a hand tight over her throat to hold back any other sounds that tried to bubble over. When she felt as though she were breathing normally again, Chihoko leaned over the pier and splashed some water on her face, scowled at the brackish taste, and stood.

She slipped her shoes back on and returned home, shoulders rolled back and face blank.

***

  
School was long. Selphie shanghaied Tidus before he could head home, and together they wound up walking to Wakka's with Sora and Riku and Kairi.

When they reached the fence, Tidus stopped just short of the line of salt along the perimeter, cupped his hands around his mouth, and called, "Oiii, Wakka!"

Wakka's father glanced out the window, shook his head, and disappeared again. Several moments later, Wakka came out.

"Can you leave yet?" Sora asked.

"Ya," Wakka confirmed, "but I haven't eaten yet. Unless you've got food, you're gonna have to wait."

"Aww, c'mon," Tidus started to complain, but Kairi said, "Actually, I wanted to ask your dad if I could look at some of your histories. Is that okay?"

"Uh, I guess," Wakka agreed. "You'll have to ask him. --Why're you all here, anyway?"

"They finally remembered where they've been!" Selphie sing-songed, with a particularly evil grin.

All three gave her looks. When Selphie's grin only widened, Kairi stuck her tongue out at her briefly and then turned back to Wakka. "Um. Yeah. If you can come to the play island with us, we've...got a lot to talk about."

"Of course," Wakka said immediately. "Give me five minutes." He turned back toward the house, waving over his shoulder for them to follow. "I just gotta grab something while you're talking to Dad--"

He cut off suddenly, and whirled around to face Sora, who'd just stepped over the salt. "Hey, wait! Do you still remember how to do the prayer?"

"--Uh," Sora said.

Wakka sighed. "Figures. Here, like this, ya?" He showed him the gestures, and then made Sora run through it twice more until it was good enough; and then he, Sora, Kairi, and Selphie went inside.

Tidus and Riku remained on the other side of the fence, having been banned since they were children from ever setting foot on the priestly family's property again. Ever. Into the second generation, in Tidus's case.

"...So," Tidus said, a little while after the door had closed. "Why'd you guys decide to tell us?"

Riku shrugged a shoulder, and then realized that probably wasn't a good enough answer. "...It seemed like you should know," he said. "It was getting harder to keep it a secret."

"Well, yeah," Tidus replied. "It's supposed to be hard to keep secrets from your friends."

Riku snorted.

"Hey!" Tidus retorted. "What, you think that's funny?"

"It's weird to have friends again," Riku muttered, sitting on the ground and leaning against the fence.

". . . Geez, Riku, way to be a jerk," he replied.

Riku laughed under his breath.

"Sorry," he said a couple moments later, because Tidus was looking ready to kick him, explanation be damned. "It's just...I'm still not used to all this."

Tidus gave him a look. "You've lived here your whole life," he pointed out.

"Yeah," Riku muttered, draping his arms on his knee and resting his chin on them. "It was a long two years."

"Two?" Tidus repeated, and Riku recalled that only Selphie had heard that much so far.

It was a pain trying to keep track of all this. Life was a lot easier when he hadn't told anyone anything except Mickey.

"Yeah," Riku said. "Two. It's...a long story. ...I...."

He really didn't put it past Kairi to punch him if he told Tidus what he'd done. Or for Sora to. And the more he'd thought about it, he didn't know what good it would do Tidus to know why his mom had lost her legs--if hi-potions hadn't worked, she wasn't going to start walking again just because Riku told him the truth.

Besides, he was going to bring over a few cure potions the next time he and his father went to build the addition. Maybe _those_ would work and the whole thing would become moot.

Tidus exhaled and kicked the road, just barely avoiding messing up the salt barrier. "Might as well wait until they get back, right?"

"Yeah."

A little later, Tidus shifted again. "It was pretty weird here, too," he offered, "if that helps."

"How?" Riku asked, which Tidus misunderstood.

"Well," he said, counting on his fingers, "there was the weather. That was a big one. And everyone forgetting Sora, which you guys better explain. And your grave--uh. ...And, uh, the nightmares. And Kairi was kind of weird because she _didn't_ have them," he added, "but she's always been different, so it wasn't that strange." Tidus shrugged. "I didn't even notice until Selphie brought it up. And, what else...."

"Nightmares?" Riku replied.

"Yeah." Tidus shrugged again. "You know--okay, I guess not. The ones about the storm, and all the other stuff."

Riku stared at him. Tidus scowled, and shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't know how to explain it," he said. "You should ask Selphie or Wakka or someone else."

When Riku didn't reply, he slumped against the fence. "They were.... I felt exposed, all the time. Like...I dunno, like I didn't have any skin. And I kept thinking 'this'll help,' but I don't remember what 'this' was...."

He shoved his hands into his pockets. "It sucked."

Tidus looked over sharply, scowl deepening when Riku pressed his head against his forearm. "What?" he demanded. "You think that's funny, too?"

"No," Riku said through his teeth. "It's not funny at all."

Tidus's frown lightened at that, mainly from confusion. He didn't know what to say, so he looked away, down the road, and tapped his fingers against his leg.

"Does everyone have these dreams?" Riku asked.

"Uh." Tidus pulled his hands free and leaned further against the fence. "I think so. Everyone I know about."

Riku's fingers tightened on his arms.

How long was this going to go on?

He knew there were consequences, knew he'd have to face them when he returned with Sora to Kairi instead of staying on that dark beach and letting it all wash away; but did he have to choke on them everywhere he turned on this world? Did it have to be--yes, it had to be everywhere, because he'd ruined it all, but--

It was a small world. There wasn't any escaping from what he'd done. He'd known that when he returned with Sora. He knew it would be a prison before they'd walked through the door.

But a prison that had Sora, and Kairi, and Naminé, and their friends. That was supposed to be enough.

 _Is it?_ Ansem murmured.

Riku barely managed to keep from snarling. _**Shut up**._

 _I felt the same way_ , Ansem offered. _You can open a way out. You know you can. They're as restless here as you're unhappy._

_Shut up._

_I never made you as miserable as you make yourself_ , Ansem told him, and Tidus said, "Riku?"

"Yeah," he strangled out a moment later.

"You okay?" Tidus had pushed away from the fence and taken a step closer.

"I'm fine," Riku muttered, and then Wakka's front door opened.   
  
  
Kairi had wrangled the book she needed out of the family mainly because Wakka had argued in her defense with his father and uncle, and also because she'd had the foresight to have her father sign a pledge the previous evening that any records she borrowed would be returned within two days and in the same condition as they'd been before. It didn't outright state that he needed it for his duties as mayor and the island's main scholar, but the implication was there.

Riku tried not to look at it as they made their way down the beach. As much as he wanted answers, he couldn't help suspecting it wouldn't have anything useful, since the recorder wouldn't've known what to write because they wouldn't have known what they were dealing with.

But then, wasn't every world supposed to have a keyblade wielder? Shouldn't there have been more before Xehanort? Even if only a few people knew, how could everything have been wiped out between his leaving and the time he and Sora were born?

But this world didn't have a gummi route to it. So maybe it didn't need a keybearer like the others. But if that were so, why was Xehanort born at all? Why--

He _hated_ this.

He hated not having the answers, hated just finding hints and more questions when he went looking for them, hated being locked away from the person who probably did know. They'd winged it on scraps of information and lies for the last two years, and he was sick of it. He wanted to **know**.

He could open a path.

Riku shoved his hands deep in his pockets and resisted the urge to shake his head, as if that could clear the thought away. He knew this was the way it had to be. He had to accept this, accept the crushing exhaustion of returning and living on this world day after day after day after day after day. It wasn't all bad; he had Sora and Kairi, and Naminé, and their friends. There were good things.

So he had to drink the bad down, bitter as it was, because no matter how bad it tasted it would--hopefully--temper his heart to keep him from doing anything so stupid and destructive and horrible ever again.

They noticed he was lagging behind. Sora dropped back and shoved him in the side with a "Slowpoke!" and a smirk that didn't cover the question in his tone; and Kairi hooked an arm through his.

. . . Mickey might not agree. Maybe. A part of Riku hoped, selfishly, that he would disagree, that there _wasn't_ a point to taking on more pain even if he deserved it.

Not there was a way to know.

Riku crooked his arm to let Kairi settle hers, and slung the other over Sora's shoulders, leaning harder at Sora's squeak of annoyance.

"'M not an armrest," Sora muttered, glancing over at the others, who were politely not looking or snickering. Mostly.

"Really?" Riku smirked. "You're the perfect height, I just assumed."

"Know what Donald says about 'assuming'?" Sora retorted, shoving an elbow into his side again but not moving away.

"What?" Kairi asked.

"--I don't know," Sora admitted. "Goofy always interrupted and told him it wasn't appropriate for young ears. But I know you're not supposed to do it!"

Riku snorted and grinned. "Oh, _really?_ What else isn't appropriate for 'young ears'?"

Sora scowled at him.

"I can think of plenty," Kairi said sotto voce. "But we've all said them to him already. Maybe Donald can tell him now that we've corrupted him."

Riku choked down another snort at Sora's expression, and remembered that he kept meaning to ask Kairi when she'd gotten so good at that deadpan tactic.

...Yet, he reminded himself. He didn't have a way of knowing, _yet_. This wasn't forever.

They'd go to other worlds again, eventually.

"Okay, seriously," Tidus said, turning around sharply and startling the three of them. "Who are Donald and Goofy? What the heck kind of names are those?"

"They're going to tell us," Selphie replied, and then glanced over her shoulder. "Why do we have to go to the play island, though?"

"We have to show you something," Kairi explained.

"You knew about Donald and Goofy?" Sora asked.

All three of them gave Sora a look that Riku figured he deserved. "You didn't really think you were that sneaky, did you?" Selphie asked.

*

  
"It's a wall," Tidus said helpfully.

Sora, Riku, and Kairi glanced at each other.

"...You don't see the Door?" she asked.

Tidus looked at it, at them, and then back at it. "...It's a wall."

Riku frowned. "Strange."

"The fact that you brought us here to look at a wall?" Selphie asked, and then glanced around. "And what's with the drawings?" She frowned. "If these are the ones you left, the missing ones must've been _really_ bad...."

"Have any of you been in here before?" Riku demanded.

Selphie, Tidus and Wakka looked at each other.

"I don't think so," Selphie said. "The path always looked kind of nasty."

Tidus shook his head. "I never saw the reason to go into a cave instead of staying on the beach."

"Same here," Wakka agreed. "Plus, we weren't supposed to go here."

Wakka was in fact standing at the edge of the entryway, not quite inside the cave. Sora frowned at him. "Why not?"

Wakka shrugged. "Something bad happened here," he said. "We're supposed to stay away."

Riku glanced at the rock in the center of the cave, at the gaping hole in the roof, and at the record book tucked carefully into Kairi's elbow; and then he dropped it and concentrated on the Door.

"I guess it's not surprising," he decided. "Just another layer of protection."

"Hey, wait," Sora said, staring at Wakka. "Weren't you the one that told us about the monster in here?"

Wakka got the awkward look of one called on to explain a lie from childhood.

"You jerk," Tidus accused.

Wakka threw his hands up, conveniently dodging the punch Tidus had aimed at his arm with the same gesture. "I was just--!"

"Well, this got more difficult," Kairi remarked, and then shifted her weight. "So, onto the keyblades?"

"Guess so," Riku agreed.

"Is anything you guys say going to make sense at any point?" Tidus asked. "What're keyblades?"

"Check _this_ out!" Sora said gleefully, and summoned his.

*

  
They got the bulk of the story told before it occurred to Tidus that the keyblade could make a great addition to the game he and Wakka were (still) creating. After that, most of the details were glossed over in order to finish up so that he and Sora could test the theory.

"Why am I not surprised?" Selphie asked, as she poked at the fire they'd started on the sand and watched the pair hike towards the old ship where Tidus was pretty sure he'd left a ball behind once. The first one he'd thrown had disintegrated when Sora hit it with the keyblade. 

Kairi finished pulling the guts out of the fish she was working on, and handed it to Selphie to spear and place over the fire. Wakka, having gotten the fish in the first place, had gone to join Tidus and Sora; Riku was getting more wood. "It's nice to all be here together," she said. "It's been a long time."

"Yeah," Selphie agreed. She propped her chin on her fist and toyed with another stick, waiting for the next fish. "Geez, I guess it's been over two years. --I still can't wrap my head around it."

"It might really just be one and a half for everyone here," Kairi offered. "I don't know how time works for the worlds in these cases. It might only be two for us, since we were off-world."

Selphie eyed her chest with an arched brow. "No wonder you got a head start on the rest of us."

Kairi stuck her tongue out and tossed her another gutted fish.

***

  
When the tide started ebbing, they finally put out the fire and headed back to the main island, since they were teenagers and had homework to do.

Sora's shoulders tightened while he was tying up his boat. Since he was the first to land, they all noticed. Riku glanced around, spotted a couple guys on the road glaring at their group, and spent just long enough focusing on them to realize that they were the ones Sora had torn into the other month.

"Forget about it," Wakka said, smacking Sora hard enough on the back to send him stumbling. "Not worth another fight, ya? And it's almost dinner."

"The fish wasn't enough for you?" Selphie asked.

"Have you ever fasted for three days straight?" Wakka retorted.

"No," she agreed. "I'm glad we've got you all to do that."

The boats were tied up by then, so they headed for the road; and since the guys had left that might have been the end of it, if Tidus hadn't said: "Besides...they've kinda got the right. You _did_ break his arm."

"He deserved it," Sora said shortly.

Tidus glanced at Wakka, and then over at Riku and Kairi, and at last focused on Sora again. "Yeah, but...."

"It was just a couple sandcastles," Selphie said carefully. "It's not like they wrecked their homes or clothes or something. You can rebuild those things."

Sora shoved his hands in his pockets and muttered, "Maybe."

Selphie looked over at Kairi, who shook her head. Finally she huffed, tossed a curl over her shoulder, and broke into a complaint over _how long_ it was until summer vacation finally arrived.

Tidus and Sora commiserated enthusiastically, and when the roads split between their neighborhoods, Riku picked up the refrain once Sora and Wakka left even though he didn't think two weeks was that long compared to the months they'd already had to be in class. Plus:

"What are you complaining about?" Selphie pointed out, right before she had to break off to head to her house and like he was the one that'd started it instead of her. She pointed at him over Kairi's shoulder. "You never do any work unless it's assigned in class."

"Hey, yeah," Tidus realized.

"So?" Riku replied, and then wondered why all three of them shook their heads.   
  
  
His mother called his name as soon as he entered the house, because he'd had to go through the front door since Tidus was still out there.

"Yes?" He glanced at the staircase down the hall.

"Come here, please."

Riku pushed his hands into his pockets and made his way to the living room.

Chihoko was sitting in a chair, a book on her lap and a handmade chart that looked vaguely like a family tree spread out on the coffee table. "Please be sea--sit down. Please."

Riku did so, gingerly, and started to check the shadows in the house for whatever was making her act strange now.

"Do you want to take over the family business?" she asked.

He blinked, startled by the bluntness, and then forced down a frown as he tried to figure out what this was a test of. "...I...."

"Mm. Let me put it this way. Would you object to your cousin Asano being named heir instead?" She closed the book. "You'll still be secondary, until she has children, and we'll arrange the will so that you draw an inheritance regardless--and of course this all hinges on if she's willing to move here and if she's able to do the work, but--"

"Wait," Riku interrupted. "What are...what's going on?"

His mother set the book on the table and adjusted the chart. "As a keybearer, you have a duty to leave and fight when you're called, correct?" Chihoko sat back in her chair. "You can't do that and be a good landlord. Earthquakes and storms and broken pipes will happen whether you're here or not. So, if you have no objections, I can make one of your father's relatives heir, and free you from the conflicting responsibilities."

". . . Really?" Riku asked quietly.

Chihoko folded her hands in her lap, wishing she'd kept the book but refusing to fidget. "Yes."

"That'd be great," he replied, fighting down a grin that he was pretty sure would be inappropriate and kind of failing at it. "That--it's great. I don't object."

"All right."

Riku shifted in his seat, reining in the urge to race back out the door and tell Sora and Kairi the good news. He wasn't sure which one to go to first. "Great."

Chihoko nodded once.

Riku shifted again, and stopped long enough to notice that she hadn't moved. "Anything else?"

"Yes."

She separated her hands, and then folded them again, more tightly. "What happened when our world was broken?"

He stilled.

A few moments later, when she hadn't said anything more, Riku made an abortive movement and then stopped. "We told you, the Door opened and--"

"What did **you** do?" she interrupted.

He was silent.

"Please," Chihoko said, quietly but firmly, and made herself look at him because this was her son, this was her flesh and blood whom she'd raised for fifteen years, even if he was no longer her heir, and she had to know if that meant anything anymore. "If I ever did anything right by you, tell me."

Riku stared at her.

*

  
Yasuhiro was laying out the day's harvest for dinner on the counter when his son passed by the doorway to the kitchen.

"Are you eating here tonight?" he called. "Or with your friends?"

Riku leaned back through the doorway, which was strange enough. He looked like he was fighting down a smile, and he kept shifting on his feet, almost--jouncing?

"Out," Riku said. "...I'll be here for breakfast. And--I'll eat dinner here tomorrow. I promise." And then he was gone again. The door shut a few moments later, too soon for the time it took to get from the kitchen to the front hall.

 _What the hell_ , Yasuhiro thought.   
  
  
He went to see if his wife had any idea what had happened to their son, and found her slumped in a chair in the living room, shoulders shaking.

"Chihoko?" he said, worried, and skirted the furniture to crouch beside her. She turned her face away, but not before he saw the tears.

"What happened?" Yasuhiro demanded, tilting to catch her eyes and cupping her face when she looked further away. "What--"

His hands dropped to her shoulders as he half-rose, and Yasuhiro felt something sick and nasty twist inside him as he glanced at the doorway and thought _What did he do?_

"Could you get me a glass of water?" Chihoko asked.

He knew exactly what she was doing, but he stood and let her. Yasuhiro returned to the kitchen and fetched a glass of water and a damp towel, taking a bit longer than necessary.

He wasn't surprised to see that she had, mostly, pulled herself together when he returned. He retrieved a coaster and set the glass down on the table, shifting the papers to avoid an accident, as she wiped her face with the towel.

"This is embarrassing," Chihoko said, aggravation creeping into her voice, which would be a welcome change from how it had wavered before except for the bitter taste in his throat. "I've cried so much today I must be getting my period early."

"What happened?" Yasuhiro asked again, kneeling in front of her.

Chihoko swiped the towel over her face a few more times, pressing it hard against her eyes for several moments, and then let her hands drop to her lap. "I love you."

He blinked, and then reached up to brush a strand of hair away from her forehead. "I love you, too."

"I can't tell you," she continued. "It...everything will be fine. I've handled things. But I can't tell you this."

He half-smiled. "Well, someday," he said cheerfully. "We've got plenty of time." And then he blinked again when she shook her head.

Chihoko pressed the towel to her face once more, and then dropped it to the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Yasuhiro gave her a moment, and then shifted and picked her up. He settled down into the chair, with Chihoko in his lap, and held her back as tightly as she did him.

Something was very wrong. His wife was not an affectionate person in public, and she seemed to consider everything public save their own bedroom--a feeling he could somewhat understand, since the rest of their home was devoted to their business, in one way or another. They'd hardly ever acted like this even as teenagers, or newlyweds; it had been a quick wedding, and then a headlong dive into the business of landowning, and of salvaging a nearly-ruined family legacy.

Yasuhiro rested his chin on his wife's head, and wondered what he was supposed to do.

Find Riku once she was better and talk to him? Or bar the door once and for all? If she couldn't tell him what was happened, should he make Riku explain? And how? Or should he...could he throw their child out? Never mind the talk, the scandal, any of that, if it came down to it her safety mattered more than any legacy, but how could--could he even....

That sick, nasty feeling curled further inside him, and Yasuhiro had to fight down the urge to swallow.

He loved his son. He was sure he did, somewhere under the exhaustion and the frustration and the fear; Riku was his only child, their only child, their creation together. He still loved him.

But he loved Chihoko more.

His wife huffed several moments later, and then pulled away and began smoothing her hair. "Tch," she muttered. "I'm sorry."

Yasuhiro caught one of her hands, and pressed it to his lips.

"Please don't apologize to me," he said quietly. "I love you."

Chihoko blinked at him, and then smiled faintly and hugged him again--briefly, but he understood the sentiment behind it, the deep affection.

Then she went back to smoothing her hair, and drying her face; and when she finally slid off his lap, he supposed there was nothing else to do but continue on.

"I'm about to start dinner," he offered, pushing out of the chair. "Would you like some wine? We can open one of the bottles for the party, and replace it with something cheaper later. No one'll notice if we serve it after everyone's had a few glasses."

She laughed, and then exhaled. "...That does sound good." Chihoko paused for another moment, and then gave him a sidelong look. "Are you just trying to weasel secrets out by getting me drunk?"

"So unkind!" Yasuhiro cried, crooking an arm. After she took it, he led the way to the kitchen. "Have I ever done that?"

"Not even when we were kids," Chihoko agreed, fighting down another smile. "Which is why I keep waiting for you to try it."

He pressed a hand to his heart and shook his head in wounded dignity. Chihoko gave in and laughed again.   
  
  
"What did he say?" Yasuhiro asked, later, when the stir-fry was nearly ready. It was unkind, perhaps, breaking charity with her; but her first glass was still half-full, and she was no lightweight.

Chihoko looked away, out the windows to the garden and the wall beyond, and turned the glass in her hand.

"...He didn't say anything."

Yasuhiro looked up from the wok, but the expression on her face stopped the disappointment at not being trusted--which was hypocritical, because he kept secrets too, when it was for the best for her, and yet....

But that weary half-smile couldn't be a lie.

Chihoko tilted her glass, staring at the wine as the color caught the light. "So now it's just more speculation, instead of knowing." She took a sip and stared out at the garden again. "Maybe I should be grateful, but I'd rather know for sure than have to believe the worst."

Yasuhiro wasn't quite certain which event she was talking about any more.

Chihoko set the glass down a moment later, and looked over at him. "I've gone through the family records," she said. "Your second cousin on the mainland--do you have her current address?"

"I think so," he replied. "I can find her."

"Good," she said. "I need her to come down here."

"...What happened?" he asked.

As she summarized her conversation with Riku earlier, he cut off the stove and moved the wok to another burner, knowing he'd char the food otherwise.

When she finished, Yasuhiro let out a long, slow breath, and then lit a new match to start the burner again. ". . . That makes a lot more sense," he murmured, moving the wok back, and then added, "He said he'd have dinner with us tomorrow. And breakfast."

Chihoko snorted tiredly. "Of course he would."

Yasuhiro thought of Riku in the kitchen doorway again, that barely restrained cheer, and shook his head hard. "I can't believe he was so pleased at being disowned--"

"What?" Chihoko said, tilting her head up sharply.

Yasuhiro looked over. "--Didn't you--?"

"He's our _son_ ," she replied, staring at him. "I am not my mother. I won't get rid of him just because--"

She stopped abruptly, and then drained the rest of her wine and dropped her head into her hands, grinding the heels against her eyes.

Yasuhiro abandoned the food to its fate and went around the counter, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"What did I do so **wrong**?!" she sobbed.

"Don't do this," he said fiercely. "We gave him everything. We did our best." He pressed his forehead against her crown. ". . . Maybe if he weren't a keybearer, that would have been enough. Everything would have been fine."

" _Damn_ this!" she snarled, and then bit down another sob. "If I ever meet this so-called king--" She smashed a hand against the counter, sending the glass wobbling. "I _swear_ \--"

"Shh," Yasuhiro said, tightening his grip. "We did everything. If he'd been normal, it would have been plenty. Don't blame yourself."

Chihoko made a strangled noise, and then pushed away from the counter and pressed her face against his chest.

*

  
Hiromasu came over some time later. He took one look at the kitchen, the wok with its charred remains soaking in the sink, and Chihoko's blank stare and red eyes, and immediately began trying to politely extract himself from their home.

"No, wait," she said a moment later, following as he backed his way into the foyer. "That's right." She exhaled, visibly trying to pull herself together, and Hiromasu felt horrible for seeing this side of her. They weren't close enough for this. "Yes. I spoke to Shina, and she--" Chihoko pressed two fingers to her temple. "I told her we'd set a date to discuss things sometime next week, over dinner. When will you be available?"

He took a moment to flip through his schedule. The solstice was fast approaching, but if he did enough work, he could carve out an evening on--no, wait, she would be preparing for the first party of the season. Argh.

"What if we wait until after the party?" he offered. "I'll have the solstice clambake to prepare for, but--"

"That will work," she replied. "We'll come over before, and put the children to work on the preparations so we can talk. Shina has apparently reverted her business back to her brother-in-law."

Hiromasu raised both eyebrows.

"Yes," Chihoko agreed. "We'll discuss the things we need to, and then bring them in to talk about betrothal requirements. And things will still get done."

It was an appealing plan, but. "Are you sure Riku and...well, I can't ask you about Sora, but--"

"If they want to marry the mayor's daughter, they're going to have to get used to helping fulfill the mayor's duties," Chihoko said. "If they can't accept that, it may be too early to discuss betrothal gifts."

"Hah." He nodded once. "...You're right. Very well. That sounds good."

"I'll send Shina a note." She hesitated, and then said, "May I ask a favor?"

"Of course."

"I'd like to borrow the genealogical tables for Yasuhiro's family," she told him. "We have copies, but I want to confirm them with yours."

"Of course," he repeated, and then glanced into the house again. Water was running in the kitchen, and he could faintly hear Yasuhiro swearing at the wok as he cleaned. "...I'll bring them over."

"That's all right; I can get them tomorrow."

"Nonsense," he replied, "it's a nice night. I don't mind."

Chihoko glanced out the window beside the door, and then frowned and glanced at the clock. A moment later, she nodded. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

He smiled, and half-turned to the door. "I'll be back soon."

"Thank you."

Chihoko saw him out, and then frowned again as she stared out at the sky, and the still-setting sun. She glanced at the clock again, confirming that it was much too late for the dusk to be lingering.

And then she shook her head and put it aside, and went to help her husband salvage dinner.


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas and Naminé; when you program your data self to believe that you'll be "gone now" upon rejoining with your heart, it's kind of a Freudian slip.

_The more similar the original and the copy the more important it is for one to be real  
and the other to be fake._

 

_How could you, Roxas?_

 

He woke up strangling for air.

Roxas shoved the window sash up and flung himself outside, needing to get away from Sora's room, Sora's house, Sora's _life_ , all those things that almost looked like the lie he'd had once.

He fell to the ground before remembering he'd been on the second floor. Roxas stayed crouched for a moment, unsure what to do next.

He could still see the look on Luxord's face, right before he disappeared forever. He could still hear him--Luxord had been like the one decent guy to him in the Organization, him and Axel and Zexion and her and they were all gone now.

_The Roxas I knew is long gone now._

_Silence, traitor._

Roxas ground the heels of his hands against his eyes, trying to get the images out of his mind, and then took off barefoot for the beach.   
  
  
He didn't know what to do when he got there, either; but at least the sound of the ocean drowned his thoughts out. Some. Kinda. If he forced it.

Roxas was still trying to figure out if it would be better to take Sora's boat over to the play island or if it would be worse to be that close to the Door and know he couldn't open it without Sora waking up and stopping him, when he heard her coming across the sand.

She was wearing Kairi's dress, but it was her. She still looked like Kairi, the same way he still looked like Sora--the way he would _always_ look like Sora from now on--but he knew it was her.

"Hi," Naminé said.

"Nn," Roxas managed.

She folded her hands in front of her. "...Is everything okay?"

"No," he snapped.

Naminé half-smiled faintly, that soft, regretful expression that always made him--that he was pretty sure made all of them--feel like he needed to protect her from...something. "Can I help?"

"...Sorry," he muttered, and then turned away and dropped down onto the sand. "No."

Naminé settled down a short distance away, smoothing Kairi's skirt over her legs. "Okay."

Roxas glanced over at her, and then hunched in further.

"...Are you sure?" she asked, a few moments later.

"Yeah," he said shortly. "It was just a bad dream."

"Oh," Naminé replied.

"Why are you up?" he asked, trying to head off any more questions.

"I was drawing," she explained, and held up a hand. Roxas glanced over long enough to see the traces of colored wax on her fingertips from the crayons. "And then I just felt...like something was wrong."

"With Sora?" Roxas asked.

She shook her head. "I got the feeling something was wrong with you."

He knew he was being a jerk, and didn't like it; but he didn't want to be here and he didn't want to try and explain that to someone who felt the complete opposite about all this. And he didn't like the way being around Naminé sometimes made him think about Castle Oblivion, because every time he thought about that place all he could remember was a pounding in his head and Axel's hands on his shoulders and a horrified look on someone's face, and it all jumbled up into colors and memories and aches that weren't his and he didn't want.

Roxas ground the heel of his hand against his forehead, which didn't do anything useful.

Naminé shifted, turning a little more towards him. "What's the matter?"

"You wouldn't understand." Roxas scowled out at the ocean.

It was a harsh thing to say to the last Nobody like him, capable of speech and sentient in a way the Heartless would never be, and he couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Naminé shifted beside him, and adjusted her skirt again. Kairi's skirt.

"I can't," she said quietly, "unless you let me try."

He exhaled through his teeth, and had to look away again. Naminé waited.

Eventually, Roxas raised a hand and stared at it. He thought about calling his keyblades, because he could feel them waiting--it had been a long time since he'd trained, too long since he'd used their body to run through attacks or spar or fight, but there _wasn't_ anything on this world to fight, not right now, except for Kairi and Riku; and Roxas didn't like the way their body responded to the two of them even when Sora gave him full control.

\--Their body. _Sora's_ body. He didn't have one. He didn't even have a facsimile any more.

Roxas resisted the urge to press his hands to his face again, and instead laughed tiredly.

"'You won't disappear,'" he muttered. "'You'll be whole.'" He propped his head in one hand and looked out at the ocean again, that old familiar and unfamiliar sight, made worse by the fact that Kairi-but-not-Kairi was sitting next to him. Roxas thought of a dock, a place where Sora and Kairi had sat countless times before as kids, and said, "I think I liked being half better. At least then I wasn't fighting someone in my head all the time."

"...That's not the way we're meant to be," Naminé said a moment later, and Roxas had to look over at her pained tone. "One part of your self can't go without the other. We can't. Terrible things happen then."

"I didn't do anything that bad," he said, defensively. It was probably a lie, because he'd been a part of the Organization, but it wasn't like he remembered enough to say for sure.

"I did," Naminé replied.

Roxas wasn't sure what to say to that.

She drew her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and for a moment Roxas totally forgot about the conversation at hand and stared at her thighs and the crinkles in her skirt where the motion had rucked it up.

Then he shook his head, and looked away again.

He wished he could know whether this feeling was his own, or if it was an echo of Sora's affection for Kairi. He could trust it more if he knew, one way or the other.

His heart was supposed to belong to him.

"I thought I would be gone," Naminé said, so quietly it almost wasn't audible over the waves; and then Roxas was focused again.

"But you said--" he started, and couldn't finish over the sense of betrayal clogging up his throat.

She smiled, faintly. "I...didn't lie. Or I didn't mean to," she said, toying with the edge of her skirt. "I didn't know what it would mean to rejoin with them. I thought maybe there would be so much of Kairi that I would just...seep into it, color it a little maybe with what I went through. But it would still be 'her,' not 'us.'" Naminé folded her hands over her heart. "They say Nobodies are half a person, but how could I be a half when Kairi had a body and I didn't have a heart?"

Roxas looked away, and dug his hand into the sand.

Naminé let her hands drop, and folded them on her knees. "Maybe I did lie," she acknowledged. "But I didn't see it the way you did. I thought it still had to be better to be a part of her than to stop existing all together."

"What?" Roxas asked.

"I was supposed to be killed," Naminé said. "DiZ told Riku to get rid of me. Kairi wasn't like Sora--she didn't need me, not the way he needs you."

" **What**?" Roxas demanded, scrambling onto his feet.

"She's a Princess of Heart," Naminé explained, even though that wasn't what he'd meant and she had to know it. "They can't really be halved; they don't have darkness in the first place. But Sora...." She shifted. "In Hollow Bastion, after Kairi changed him back, he still wasn't right. He wasn't a Heartless any more, but he was just a heart. She pulled a veneer of skin around him, but it wasn't a real body." She looked up at him. "It couldn't be, because it wasn't you. Without you, he's just a heart."

"What do you _mean_ destroyed?" Roxas clenched his fists, and shifted on the sand, hating the feel of it as he did. He wanted something solid under his feet, tarmac and blacktop or concrete or at least bricks.

Naminé shrugged again, faint and delicate. "Kairi didn't need me to exist, and Nobodies are an abomination. Disappearing is their fate."

She said it without inflection, like a recitation, and Roxas's fists tightened.

"That _bastard_ ," he hissed. "Who was he to say anything like that? He's the one that started all this!"

"He tried to make up for it," she offered.

"Who cares?" Roxas snapped. "Nothing makes up for being like that!"

"He wasn't any worse than Marluxia," Naminé said, and Roxas stopped short and stared.

"How can--they're not--" He shook his head. "They weren't the same at all. Marluxia was one of us!"

She half-smiled again.

"One of you," Naminé corrected. "I was never a real Nobody. I was just a witch."

Roxas stared down at her for a long time, and finally loosened his hands.

He looked around the beach for a few moments, trying to think of something to say, and eventually dropped onto the sand.

"You were real," he muttered. "You were always real."

She shook her head. "I was an imitation. No," she said, looking away, at the water. "I wasn't even that. Even an imitation knew how to feel. He didn't even have a name, but he was more real than me. I was like...like a paper cutout." She lifted her hands and looked at them. "Like a washed-out reflection of her. No wonder they hated me. My existence was even more fake than theirs."

"A fake thing is just a real thing pretending to be a different real thing," Roxas said savagely, because the more she talked the more he remembered that static buzzing in his ears as he'd woken up each morning in Twilight Town, and the way his friends had frozen along with the rest of the world. "You listened to DiZ too much. We were real. They were real. They existed. It doesn't matter _how_ , they still existed!"

Naminé just looked at him, and Roxas thought that maybe she was right; maybe she never had been a true Nobody, because she should've known this. If you stopped holding onto your existence for even a second, the world would wipe you out like you'd never been. You couldn't _ever_ let it think it was right, or that was the end.

He looked away, and kicked the sand.

"Maybe that's why it's so hard for you and Sora," she said, a few moments later.

"What do you mean?" Roxas scowled.

"The memories you had, the relationships--they mean a lot, to both of you," Naminé said. "That's why Sora went to sleep in the first place; he didn't want to lose anyone." She shifted, tucking her feet to the side and bracing herself up with one arm. "And you both think they can't be combined, without losing them."

"They can't," Roxas said flatly. "He killed half of them."

"You still have their memories," she offered. "You can't lose those."

"Sora's got his own memories of them," Roxas muttered. "If I don't hang on to mine, what's to keep his from eating them up? Until that's the only thing either of us remembers?"

She shook her head. "It doesn't work like that. Memories can disappear, but feelings don't. You can break the chains, but you can never melt the links."

"You can make it so they can never be reached," Roxas retorted, because he'd seen Sora's memories of Castle Oblivion scattered in the depths of his heart, almost invisible below all the restored memories, permanently out of Sora's reach; and she didn't have a response to that.

"What about Hayner and Pence and Olette?" Naminé asked, and he winced.

"He met the real ones," Roxas said, glaring down at the sand. "The living ones. According to you, that's the true memories. Mine can't hold up to that."

"I'm not trying to hurt you," Naminé said, reaching out a hand. "I want to help."

" _How?_ " Roxas demanded, pulling away, and hating how his voice cracked. "How?! You don't **understand**. You've got everything you should've had now. You and Kairi get along. Sora doesn't remember anything, but you're still his friend. You've got Riku now, don't you? --He took you, he took her," Roxas slammed a fist on the sand, "he took _me_." He dug the hand in deeper, since it was the only way to keep himself from summoning the keyblades, because if he did that it'd bring Riku and if he saw him now Roxas was going to tear into him for all he'd done. "Maybe it was bad for you, maybe it really sucked, but it doesn't anymore! But I don't have _anyone_ left. They're gone, forever, and Sora carries that keychain around with all the others like it's nothing and I'm never going to see them again, and if I let him have those memories I won't have anything left at all."

Roxas hunched in on himself, because he couldn't stop shaking and he wasn't going to cry and he didn't want her to see him like this.

"Maybe it was horrible," he finally whispered, because it wasn't like he'd liked all of them, and he remembered being so angry right at the end, at Xemnas and Saix and everyone, and even if he didn't remember why there had to be a reason for it. "And you wanted to get away. That makes sense. But I didn't want to change."

He dropped his head onto his knees. "I didn't want any of it to change."

Naminé didn't say anything.

Eventually he heard her stand. Roxas figured she was leaving, because it wasn't like there was anything else to say and he'd been a jerk; so he jolted when she suddenly wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm sorry," Naminé said quietly. "I didn't know it would be so hard. I thought you would be happy about it, but you were both so different from me, and I didn't realize until too late. It wasn't supposed to hurt like this. It was supposed to make everything right."

She pulled her legs up, pressing against his side, and dropped her head on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

Roxas shuddered and pushed his head harder against his knees.

At last, he pulled his hand free of the sand and shook it off. Naminé shifted a little so she wouldn't get sand up her skirt, and then pulled her arms away and scooted further back.

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"You did what you had to," Roxas replied, even though he didn't think that was what she was apologizing about this time. "The worlds needed him."

She interlaced her fingers and stared down at them. "I could have tried a little harder. Or...I don't know." She shook her head. "I really did try, when I realized. But nothing was enough, not without you. I was afraid that without you, if it was just his heart, he wouldn't be strong enough to face it. That he'd break on his own."

"Face what?" Roxas asked, and Naminé drew in a breath.

He blinked, and then wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and looked over. Her own eyes were slightly widened.

"I shouldn't have--I can't," she said. "He's not ready yet."

Roxas frowned and shifted around enough to face her. "For what?"

Naminé shook her head. "I can't say."

Roxas's frown deepened, and she looked away, at the ocean again. "I'm sorry."

"...I don't think he's listening," Roxas told her, after a moment. "He's not asleep, but he's not talking." He tried to scowl, but it came off more tired than anything. "He doesn't like hearing me say anything bad about Riku."

Naminé glanced over, and then twisted her fingers.

"...There are some memories," she murmured, "inside Sora's heart. They're important, but they're dangerous."

"Dangerous?" Roxas started to ask; and then he recalled that that was exactly what he'd called that feeling that'd drifted up when Kairi was describing Aqua.

"They're too painful," Naminé said. "They could damage his heart. ...They could break it."

Even with Riku pulling the shadows away, that loneliness had been opening up underneath their heart like the ocean, ready to engulf it. It had been like standing in that room in Twilight Town after Axel set it on fire; it was going to consume everything.

"I did what I could, to prepare him to face it," Naminé continued, still looking at her hands. "But I don't...he's not ready yet. You both aren't, not yet."

"Who _is_ it?" Roxas demanded.

She shook her head. "I can't. I shouldn't have said this much, not yet." She looked up at him. "Please, trust me. I don't want to hurt either of you any more than I have."

Roxas realized he'd pressed a hand against his chest without noticing, and forced it down. ". . . All right."

"Thank you," Naminé said, and then hesitated.

"...Is he really not listening?" she asked.

Roxas glanced at her, but checked. Sora was awake, he knew that; but he was wrapped up in his own thoughts. Roxas didn't actually ask, or get close, but he figured it was a pretty safe bet that Sora was too distracted with whatever he was thinking about to be paying attention to anything outside, too. "Yeah."

Naminé unlaced her fingers, and tucked her legs underneath herself. He didn't know how she could keep fidgeting on the sand so much.

"I understand," she told him. "A little."

"Huh?" Roxas said, because that wasn't what he'd been expecting.

Naminé looked over with a faint smile. "I don't want things to change, either. Not now. But...."

Roxas frowned. "What's wrong?"

Naminé ran her fingers through the loose sand.

"Kairi isn't just a Princess of Heart," she said. "She's Radiant Garden's keybearer." She smiled faintly, and lifted a hand to let the sand trickle down to the beach. "She's asleep. She hasn't thought of this. I don't think Sora or Riku have either."

"Wait," Roxas said. "You mean...."

"She made a promise that we'd see each other every day," Naminé said, looking over at him. "Her and Sora, and you and me. But what happens when they goes back to Radiant Garden? Maybe they don't need a Princess, not with the restoration committee in charge, but what's going to happen when the world finds out she's the keybearer that was taken from it? Especially now that her power's woken up."

Roxas didn't know what to say.

But then he thought of something. "Wait. We can travel. That's what they used to do, isn't it? Travel between the worlds to protect all of them?"

Naminé nodded.

"But how long can they do it without ever returning home?" she asked. "Months? Or years?" She looked over her shoulder, not at the ocean, but at the island behind them. "I know it probably wouldn't have to be for long, but I don't want to be separated from you and Riku and Sora. I don't want her to be, either. I wish things could stay like this. No, like this, but happier."

Roxas wanted to rub his head, but remembered all the sand on his hand when it was halfway up. "What about that book Kairi got from Wakka? How often did it say Xehanort came back? He couldn't do it without _any_ one seeing him," he rationalized. "He'd have to eat and sleep somewhere."

Naminé shook her head. "I don't know."

"Hasn't she read it yet? Riku was chomping at the bit."

"There are pages cut out," Naminé said, and Roxas blinked. Then he finally did rub his head, hard.

"Arrrgh!"

Naminé nodded. "She actually cussed."

Roxas snorted at that, and dropped back to lie on the sand.

"There's that creepy wizard," he suggested, a little later, staring up at the stars. "Yen Sid. Maybe he'll know. Or the king."

"Maybe," Naminé said.

". . . I hope it's not long," Roxas muttered.

"Me too," she agreed.

"Or ever." Roxas held a hand up, feeling the keyblade waiting just beneath his palm. "I don't know what world these are from. Nothing ever happened on any of the ones I went to with them."

"Maybe they're from worlds that don't exist anymore, except that little bit," she suggested. "Or ones that haven't woken up yet."

"Arrrrrrrgh," Roxas repeated, and bonked his head against the beach.

Naminé started to draw in the sand. "...It's not the same, I know; but I understand a little." She tried to sketch Sora's spiky hair; but the medium was all wrong, and she went back to aimless doodles. "...All my happy memories are with people here," she murmured. "I don't want to have to go away again."

"We'll figure something out," Roxas said. "We always do. There's gotta be something."

Naminé smiled faintly, and nodded.   
  
  
After a while, Roxas realized that the stars had shifted enough that it was probably going to be dawn soon. Maybe. Sora would know for sure; The World That Never Was and Twilight Town hadn't had days that changed like this world did.

When he told Naminé, she said they should probably head back so that Kairi and Sora didn't pass out in class later. Roxas didn't see what the big deal was, because there wasn't much better to do in class; but he agreed anyway.

"...Thanks," he told Naminé, right before they separated on the road.

She looked down at the sandals she was clonking the sand out of. "I haven't done anything to deserve that."

"Yeah, you did," Roxas replied. "Thanks."

". . . You're welcome," she said, and smiled. Naminé slipped the shoes back on, and told him, "Thank you."

Roxas nodded, half-turned, and hesitated. Naminé smiled again and turned toward the path; and he started down his own, the one back to Sora's home.

He was barely out of sight of the ocean when Sora said, Hey, Roxas?

He stopped. It was almost tempting to ignore him, or just drop his hold on their body; but Roxas thought of that gaping loneliness again, and decided it was a good reason to call a truce. If it was worrying Naminé that much. If it was that dangerous.

_Yeah_.

How can I help? Sora asked.

_\--What?_

How can I help? Sora repeated. There's gotta be something I can do.

_...Why do you care?_ Roxas demanded, and then stormed in to meet him face to face, because what the hell. "Seriously. Why are you even asking? Didn't you hear any of that?"

"Yeah, but...you're not alone. You don't have to carry all that on your own." Sora rubbed the back of his head and gave him a worried look. "I didn't realize it was so bad. What can I do?"

Roxas was silent, dumbfounded by the unfathomable **absurdity** that was Sora and by the sheer amount of it, too big to be summed up or responded to. How could anyone think they were supposed to be one person? They weren't even alike.

Sora waited, still looking kind of confused and kind of like he didn't understand why Roxas didn't understand. "I mean it," he said. "I know I...I guess I'm not the best other all the time, but I can carry some of it." He grinned. "We've got a better chance of getting through if we share, right? Like a limit break. ...Or not. But still," Sora told him, "you can rest easy. Your hurt can be mine now."

Roxas stared at him, at that doofy 'let me help' expression; and he surrendered.

Maybe it was okay. Maybe he really wouldn't be losing himself, but just gaining some of Sora. Naminé was still herself; so maybe changing some didn't have to be the same thing as disappearing.

He wasn't as fragile as a Nobody anymore. He had a heart now, even if it was second-hand and had a personality of its own.

"...I don't like Riku," Roxas said, and watched that flash of irritation cross Sora's face despite his sincerity. Then, because words hadn't done any good before, he stepped forward, pressed a hand to Sora's forehead, and remembered losing.

Sora flinched, and Roxas belatedly recalled that the guardian had broken his ribs. He'd forgotten that; they'd probably dumped a hi-potion or a Cura on him before sticking him into the virtual world, and anyway, the physical pain hadn't been much, had been nothing compared the feeling that everything he had was being stripped away piece by piece, to thinking he'd had friends only to learn it was a lie, or seeing Axel for the last time when he barely remembered him, or having to fight her--

Roxas remembered that there was something in his memories Sora couldn't know.

If he learned about--them...someone, some...thing, what he and Naminé had been talking about....

Who he and Naminé had been...?

"Ow," Sora hissed, and Roxas jerked his hand away.

Sora was still clutching his head, eyes squeezed shut; so Roxas said, a little too loud: "I don't like him."

Sora blinked.

"So stop trying to make me," Roxas said quietly.

Sora blinked again, but let his hands drop. He shook his head carefully; and then he straightened up and looked at Roxas and said, "Okay."

"...Move Bond of Flame where it won't get scratched up or fall out," Roxas added, in a mutter.

Sora nodded and reached for his pocket, then seemed to realize that that was kind of pointless inside here and just sort of stood there.

"...Anything else?" he eventually asked.

Roxas stared down at the stained glass under their feet, and thought of the million other things he wanted that weren't possible any more. That would never be possible, because even if they got along like Kairi and Naminé, it was still Sora's body, and Sora's life and Sora's friends and Sora's world and Sora's keyblade, ultimately. He wouldn't have been able to use his if he weren't Sora's Nobody.

But he wasn't a Nobody any more.

And he hadn't disappeared.

He had a heart now. The world couldn't wipe him, or his memories, out so easily.

"You're hopeless," he said, and shoved Sora into control of their body. _Just get us home_.

But what about--

_Do you want your mom to wake up and freak out because she thinks you disappeared again? Or assume you're out having sex with Kairi and Riku?_ Roxas asked, and that got Sora moving.

_Too easy_ , he thought, and then snorted at Sora's "Hey!"

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Grasping Hold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/957224) by [Splintered_Star](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splintered_Star/pseuds/Splintered_Star)




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